Matt Weinstock -- February 20, 1959
February 20, 2009 | 4:00 pm
She Stood in BedThey said it couldn't be done, but it was to a lady who lives in a large apartment house in midtown L.A. She turned over in bed around 1 a.m. and the bed, installed a few days before, folded with a whoosh into the wall, jamming her tightly, upside down, with her face full of pillow. Fearing suffocation, naturally she panicked.
She managed to work an arm loose and banged on the floor. The people in the apartment below her heard and indignantly banged back. When the pounding continued they called the manager, who rescued her. She was trapped for an agonizing half-hour and suffered a wrenched neck.
Opal Wise of the Central Insurance Agency, who handled the claim, said it was the first one on record. Investigation disclosed faulty installation, not the bed itself, was the cause.
The loss of dignity was bad enough, but what tortured the victim more was the reaction of the ambulance and emergency hospital attendants when they learned what had happened. They laughed.
CARAMBA! Cathie Walls, 6, of Wilmington, announced on returning home from school that she could count to 5 in Spanish and she did: "uno, dos, tres, pot roast, cinco" . . . Steve Levy, 12, excitedly informed his mother a new boy named Ramon Porfavor, who couldn't speak English, had entered his class at Crozier Junior High. She said that was an odd name and he said, "Well, when the teacher told him where to sit she said, 'Over here, Ramon,por favor.'" The boy is really Ramon Diaz.
UNTRUE TO FORM
A rich contract for acting half nude
Proved to be the lady's nemesis.
What prominence to her had accrued
Had been built on false premises.
-- MATTIE RAE
ONLY IN L.A.-- A woman in the Goodwill Industries store on S Broadway pawed through a basket of eyeglasses and finally selected dark harlequins set with rhinestones. She held them up, tried them on, then asked, "You sure these aren't medicated?" After a puzzled moment the clerk caught on and assured her they were plain glass, not prescription ground.
THERE'S QUITE a story about Dorothy M. Johnson, who wrote "The Hanging Tree," on which the movie is based.
Miss Johnson, 53, is a journalism prof at Montana State University, secretary of the Montana State Press Assn. and editor of several newsletters. When not busy at these jobs she hunts down old-timers from whose campfire stories she has evolved many of her raw, fiercely written frontier tales. Several are unforgettable, particularly "Lost Sister," included in her paperback collection.
Ironically, Miss Johnson broke into print with a book titled "Beulah Bunny Tells All."
FORTUNATELY there's a limit to town-naming gags, and we've about reached it.
N.O. Greer cooked up these: Wehav, No. Car.; Woeis, Me.; Young, Miss., and Hangoutha, Wash.
Judi Stone is responsible for Aga, Conn.; Koko, Mo.; Wait, N.C.; Wassamatta, Pa., and Youlgetitintha, Ind.
Jack Foyle's best are You, S.C. and Casanoh, Va.
Raul Rodriguez must take the blame for Shapely, Calif.; Fatted, Calif.; Ifonly, Ida.; Brilliant, Colo.; Income, Tex., and Happy, N.D.
LOOSE ENDS -- Anybody knows S. Cooper, retired Navy officer, Annapolis class of '14? Al Hagerman chief engineer at Shrine Auditorium, found his class ring in a pipe conduit tunnel under the place . . . Daniel Boone (of Bank of America) talked to David Crockett (of Lincoln Savings) the other day about the 1959 Heart Fund campaign . . . Sudden thought by Bill Weaver onKNX . If Ed Murrow lined up Drew Pearson and Bishop Sheen, he could bill his program as Pearson to Parson on Person to Person . . . Nick B. Williams, Times editor, getsMoideled today at a slings and arrows lunch. Probably even be disclosed that the B stands for Boddie.