Paul Coates -- Confidential File, January 17, 1959
January 17, 2009 | 2:00 pm
Mash Notes and Comments
"Dear Paul Coates,
"I am writing to you--
"(1) Because I received a beautiful portable typewriter for Christmas;
"(2) I have written to all my relatives and friends who live more than five miles away;
"And (3) because you are a standing joke in our house . . .
"We (my husband and myself) never watch your night television show because we are wrapped up in stereo until the wee hours.
"We (my 4-year-old son and myself) are not so fortunate at 2 p.m., though. He is a TV bug and figures that any channel that employs Sheriff John deserves at least half his time. This includes your program.
"Doesn't anyone ever meet with your approval, Mr. Coates?" (signed) Mrs. John F. Hughen, 9937 Rideau St., Whittier.
--Yes. Sometimes I like my mother.
(Press Release) "Actress Phyllis Standish observed the other day that a man never marries a girl who looks sensible because a sensible girl has more sense than to look sensible!"
(signed) Levin, Cohen & Fletcher, Public Relations, 1356 N Vine St., Hollywood.
-- For her sake, I hope nobody overheard her.
"Dear Mr. Coates,
"I stopped by your office with the hopes of meeting you -- a prospect I have been looking forward to for some time.
"Your secretary suggested that I call on Monday to inquire what time you may have free from your busy schedule.
"I shall look forward to our meeting. Cordially," (signed) Phyllis Standish, Hollywood.
-- Drop in anytime, Phyllis. You sound like a nice, sensible girl.
(Press Release) " 'Let Me Call You Sweetheart' will be the theme of the colorful Valentine's Day celebration to be held at Vagabond's House, Feb. 14, JoeChastek announces.
"Beautiful hearts will be given to the diners and those ordering liquors from the doctors of mixology.
"To live up to the theme of the evening, organist Pomping Vila will play Victor Herbert's 'Sweethearts' and 'Sweet Mystery of Life'; Irving Berlin tunes such as 'Always' and 'Because I Love You'; L. Wolfe Gilbert's 'I Dream of You in Lilac Time'; and JimmyMcHugh's 'I Can't Give You Anything but Love, Baby' and 'I'm in the Mood for Love.'
"P.S.: Please, dear Paul, come and be our Valentine." (signed) Arthur S. Wenzel, Publicity, 2505 Wilshire Blvd., L.A.
-- I can't. I've already been spoken for.
"I found my wife in a bar last night, drinking with two guys I didn't know. They seemed like OK guys. She was gone, like they say in beatnik land.
"She said to me, how are you, Baby Doll. I said OK you old beatnik. Then she said, I feel real cool.
"I said I feel cool, too, dear, let's have a beer. Then my wife says, let's dance, man. I said, OK Baby Doll, let's dance. We did.
"Then my wife says, don't talk about me when I'm gone."
"I said, Baby Doll, I am gone -- I am going home and get a good night's sleep.
"My wife said, if you go home, I'll make a date with another guy. I said, I don't care. I am gone. Good night.
"P.S.: Before I left, I told her, don't EVER call me Big Daddy." (signed) Anon, L.A.
-- I'm sure she didn't mean anything by it.