March 14, 1958
Wearing his sharpest attire, including a glorious green cravat, Tim dropped into a waterfront bar, prepared to give the day a suitably enthusiastic observance.
A burly longshoreman glared at him for a while, then challenged his qualifications to invade the exclusive realm of right-thinking Irish.
Tim said he was fully qualified, particularly by his real name, which he spelled out.
THE LONGSHOREMAN called him a pretender, a liar and an insult to the patron saint.
His challenger remained unconvinced, became belligerent and started punching. Tim departed.
That's why Tim, dawn-patrol bartender at the Rainbow, will play it cagey Monday if anyone gives him an argument. Although still a great admirer of St. Patrick, he will, if pressed hard, say his name is Toto Gonzales.
RETROSPECT -- Roger Beck's nomination as the hero horse of the Santa Anita season was not Silky Sullivan or Round Table, but May Not Run, which didn't. It was entered in the third race March 5, but was scratched ... Incidentally,Scotty Rosenberg reports that the horses at the Northridge Farm at Devonshire and Reseda Boulevards have been lining up at the fence the last few days and gazing disapprovingly at the autos rushing by.
A WOMAN IN a beauty parlor in the San Fernando Valley was overheard by Bettye Latham telling of her great dilemma during the recent rain.
She got in her car, she said, and pushed the button that automatically raises the garage door. But it wouldn't go up. The power was off on account of the storm.
"So there I was, trapped in my own garage by this electronics baloney," she said disgustedly. "I had to take a cab to my appointment."
Sometimes the hardships of the day seem almost unbearable.
PASADENA teachers have been notified mimeographically that a 5% dividend on savings has been declared by their credit union. But that isn't all. The news was done straight, then in the style of Ernest Hemingway, Walt Whitman, Mickey Spillane, Gilbert and Sullivan andgobbledegook, as follows:
"Recent evaluation and decisioning in the area of inservice-oriented financial structuring have effectuated the dynamic appropriationing a 5% incremental factor on the dividend level for 1957. Consequently, the continued implementation of such brilliant fiduciary-wise functioning ... gurgle, gurgle ..."
AT RANDOM -- Bob Wiegett always smiles at the "Keep Out" signs around the Honor Farm at Castaic. Who wants in? he'd like to know ... Sudden thought: Hey, maybe those are gun sights on the front fenders of some new cars--the better to aim at pedestrians ... Considering all of their aches and pains and advanced years, Joe Kelly wonders if they shouldn't be called the Codgers ... Under the heading "Grisly German Humor," Variety reports a gag making the rounds in Frankfurt about an upcoming record titled, "Music to Listen to World War III By" ... the Marie McDonald kidnap case could explode in some people's faces ... Simile: As deserted as the meat counter in a supermarket ... When N.C.Hayhurst , president of Fidelity Savings & Loan in Glendale, headed his Cadillac into his reserved parking space he found it blocked--by a Volkswagen with a sign, "Help Stamp Out Cadillacs."