March 21, 1958
Once more the big talk is of nickels and dimes. Oops, better make that dollars. Inflation, you know.
In any event, the familiar incongruities and paradoxes are showing up.
A MAN ON an Olympic bus was overheard by Don Drake saying to his companion, "Jerry and his family are really up against it. He's been out of work for more than three months."
"Well," came the query, "he's drawing unemployment insurance, isn't he?"
"Sure, but after they make the payment on the car what have they got to live on?"
THE WAY BOB LEE (who ought to be ashamed of himself) tells it, there was this gullible and cooperative halibut which saw a baitless fishhook drifting loose through the water off Manhattan Beach and said, "OK, take me to your leader."
THE PIXIES have been busy again.
A motorist trying futilely to break into the jammed traffic on Fairfax Avenue north on Wilshire, reports Larry Thor, was waving a white handkerchief in token of surrender.
And Don C. Harvey broke up at a line some leprechaun wrote on a sign on Hollywood Ranch Market warning that illegally parked cars would be impounded and hauled away, to wit, "My big brother can whip your big brother."
As usual, special tribute will be paid to a talented and ubiquitous member, Bart Reynolds. He's everywhere, he has done everything, including getting out the tong's fine, recently published book, "Paisano," consisting of eloquent letters written by members in the service during World War II.
Now it can be told that Bart Reynolds doesn't exist except as a fictitious byline created by the fun-loving members. He's their ideal, the guy they all wanted to be in their youth. Which makes him one of the longest-running gags in existence.
TO THE QUESTION, "Who's watching the store?" let us present Miss Gladys Paul. For 50 years she has presided at the same main floor counter at the Broadway, handling women's neckwear, ribbons and cuffs. Monday, in observance of this half-century, she'll receive a diamond-studded watch. Many persons would say, "Monotonous, wasn't it?" Not Miss Paul. She enjoyed every day of it.
ONLY IN L.A. -- A waitress in a lunchroom near 6th and San Pedro streets was overheard by Alan Ferber saying to a customer, "Sure he ought to see a psychiatrist but they charge about $25 an hour and he hasn't got the money. That's the trouble, poor people can't afford to find out what's wrong with them."
AROUND TOWN -- A Santa Monica restaurant has a refinement on the "Happy Birthday" routine. Instead of the cake and candles business, a waitress marches to the celebrators' table carrying a plate of pastries with two Fourth of July sparklers alight ... Coronet has a scary article on "California's Sinking City" --Long Beach ... A La Mirada entrepreneur figures to do all right. He's selling car stickers stating both "Help Stamp Out Republicans" and "Help Stamp Out Democrats" ... The ultimate in this particular category, however, was spotted by Cully of Culver City, a sign on a Cad, "Help Stamp Out People" ... While hiking on Mulholland Drive, Arlene Cersky came upon a sign, "Site of Future Bel-Air Presbyterian Church. Trespassers will be forgiven."