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Matt Weinstock

February 11, 2008 |  7:44 pm

Feb. 11, 1958

Matt_weinstockd The owner of a tavern in San Fernando Valley advertised last week for a cocktail waitress. He is still staggered by the results. And not precisely the way you might think. The pretty girls came flocking--as many as 40 one day--and while waiting to be interviewed, each had a drink or two.

Somehow the word went out that they were there and soon businessmen in the neighborhood came in to see the pretty girls who were waiting to be interviewed. Here and there, according to usually reliable sources, a businessman bought a girl a drink.

One lucky girl got the job and all is quiet now, but the owner, reporting back to Lucy Logan, this paper's classified ad lady, remarked, "Migosh, what a way to get business!" It was up 300% for the week.

YOU KNOW THAT one about the old woman who lived in a shoe? Well--

A woman, not so very old, came into the attendance office at Palms Junior High and said she wanted to take her little boy out of school for the rest of the day.

Marilyn Spievak, 14, a student who was minding the store for this particular hour, asked the boy's name and grade, then looked it up on the school roster. She looked again, still didn't find it, and said so to the mother.

"Oh, dear me, I guess he's still in grammar school," she said. "I have 10 children and I get them mixed up."

ONLY IN Beverly Hills--As Sparks Stringer entered a stationery store on Beverly Drive, the clerk said brightly, "Good morning, how may I confuse you?"

Sparks replied, "I'm already confused but working together maybe we can find what I want."


ON A RECENT Saturday, radio station KDAY conducted a Platter Pulse program featuring mostly rock 'n' roll. Listeners were urged to phone the station and vote for their favorite tunes.

The switchboard was jammed all day long--3,280 calls were received--and there were complaints, not only from the phone company, but from Hollywood Memorial Park, whose phone number is similar but in a different sequence.

The cemetery got 120 calls from exuberant but carelessly dialing youngsters shouting, "Witchcraft!" or "April Love!" or "All the Way!" and promptly hanging up.

The station didn't have the heart to continue Platter Pulse.

IF ANYONE thinks this corner has been neglecting western movie cliches, perish forbid.

Recent samplings turned up the trite bit in which the beleaguered sheriff remarks, as a lynch mob marches on the jail, "I knew what I was getting into when I took the job."

Then there's the undaunted hero, facing death or a fate worse than, saying equally grimly, "That's a chance I'll have to take."

To say nothing of the crooked owner of a big spread who tells the unemployed cowboy who beats up the tough guy, "I can always use a good hand."

AS THE Norwalk air crash dims in memory, sheriff's deputies are recalling the inadvertent remark of a lieutenant who was interviewed on TV at the time.

Asked what happened when the plane smashed into the adjacent lot, he replied, "It was awful. We thought the atom bomb had gone off. It was so loud it knocked all the deputies to their feet."

LOOSE ENDS --A Canoga Park paper had this typo: "WANTED to rent, 3 bedroom souse with option to buy." There's a boy who needs elbow room ... Press agents are eager to get aboard the rockets, whispers Barney H., think of the space they can get ... February selection of the Let's Have Better Mottoes Assn. is: "Please --Let's Keep This Confusion Orderly."