Bill recently went on a safari in northwest Montana, near Swan Lake. It is very primitive country. His party packed in five miles, creating in Bill's consciousness a new concept of saddle sores.
In a period of two hours they passed seven grizzly bears. They're unpredictable, the guide told Bill, and if one went for him the only ting to do was climb a tree, which grizzlies can't do although they have strong claws.
Usually, the guide said, they'll attack only if aroused. Incidentally, Bill says, they bark like dogs.
WELL, ONE GRIZZLY became aroused at something, Bill isn't sure what, and headed for him. Bill dutifully scrambled up a tree. But this bear was persistent.
The guide, who had managed to carry his gun up his tree, finally shot the bear. But grizzlies have a very slow heart action and don't die easily.
Anyway, Bill's favorite question these days is, "Did you ever perch in a tree for an hour and a half?" He doesn't recommend it, especially with saddle sores.
Oh, yes, they got an elk. They named it Anticlimax.
ONLY IN L.A. -- Remember the item about the fellows who daily snatch a paper sack lunch from a ledge at 2nd and Olive streets and split the contents?
Well, the pilferers have been pinpointed as young men named Phil and Ray in a nearby office. They tried to sell the lunch to a colleague for 25 cents. They don't like the butter on the meat sandwiches.
Why does the owner continue to leave it on the ledge? Because he doesn't want his wife to know he doesn't like the lunches she fixes.
IT WAS AN exciting moment for pedestrians Monday when clerk James E. Carr, 18, his head bleeding badly from a pistol blow, rushed out of a shoe store at 516 S. Broadway and yelled, "Get that man!" as the bandit fled.
fact, when it appeared a passing streetcar would block two gray-haired
ladies' view of the bloody young man, one said in dismay, "Oh dear, we
won't be able to see a thing!"
TELETYPE MACHINES occasionally go off the beam and all you get is etaoin shrdlu. The following is a verbatim copy of what came over the AP machine from Washington: "Adams--who often does the political slugging while Eisenhower stands aloof--asserted the Democrats ought to know better and added: 'As a matter of fact, they ought to be called strictly to account by the American people for using this subject as party glue. I'll simply say this: We Republicans greet the oppositionPYQXTWS simply say this: We Republicans greet the opposition KQKQQPYQX/-AYUQLYYAYQK ......' " Why Sherm, shame on you!
AT RANDOM -- Everyone was proud of the way Judge Charles H. Woodmansee handed the Sarah Churchill case. However, Paul Rodriguez was intrigued by his triple redundance in referring to Sir Winston as the greatest living statesman in the world today" ... Vick Knight would have us believe his Key Records recently rejected songs titled "I Met Her at the Blood Bank but She Wasn't My Type" and "Drink to Me Only With Thine Eyes, We Just Ran Out of Gin" ... A Reno gambler is about to file a damage suit against a local professional man charging naughtiness in a gambling deal--a switch ... Yes, the John Reese who wrote the lead Post article on Alec Guinness is the former L.A. newsman who kicked the habit and now is known as the sage of San Marino.