All right, everybody, it's time to admit your deepest, darkest secret. Something you have kept hidden from the world for most of your life. No, I don't mean the candy bar you swiped as a kid. You know what I'm talking about. Every December you secretly harbor this wish. If only you could have...
AN ALUMINUM CHRISTMAS TREE!
And for you young people who have only heard your parents (or grandparents --ahem) talk about the joys of a metal tree, perhaps you think they are just telling stories--like the tooth fairy.
There was a time when people actually bought Christmas trees made out of aluminum. They were part of the Space Age decor and they didn't drop needles, unlike those nasty real trees.
Usually, they were decorated with monochromatic ornaments (all green, all red, all gold or all blue being popular as I dimly recall from my youth).
And to make the effect complete: Rotating colored lights. How the aluminum branches shimmered from red to blue to yellow!
As difficult as it may be to believe, some people found these trees kitschy or tacky. Others called them an outrage.
For years, there has been underground traffic in old aluminum trees at yard sales or on EBay. Battered, neglected and missing pieces, the aluminum trees were taken out of their hiding places and shipped off to new owners.
Now, however, there is a company selling new aluminum trees. And they are primo hipster bait.
Here you go.