Oscars: Most embarrassing moments -- so many to choose from!

This was the year my son, who is 12, decided to watch the Oscars with me. He's normally much more of a fan of the Grammys--which at least has a little hip-hop street cred--but he'd seen a few of the Oscar movies and was curious to figure out what all the hoopla was about. Well, all that curiosity lasted for about 90 minutes. Then, clearly bored, he left the room, saying he had to--gasp--do his homework. As for the show itself, he asked, "Do you really have to watch the whole thing?"

My theory is that he was turned off by all of the winners who thanked their parents, since at 12, the idea of parents being even remotely cool is a horrible prospect to consider. And it was weird to see how much parental love was in the air. In fact, so many winners thanked their parents that I almost thought I was watching the Country Music Awards, although at the CMAs most of the winners give an extra shout-out to God, not to their agents and publicists. The show itself was pretty snoozy. You know things have gone badly when the most endearing acceptance speech of the night was given by a boyishly, frizzy-haired winner of the best live-action short, who also thanked his mother.

As for the most embarrassing moments:

--Having academy boss Tom Sherak and ABC's Anne Sweeney eating up two minutes of airtime bragging about the academy extending their deal with the network. Who cares a fig about that?

--Of all the people in the world, why did the academy pick Oprah to introduce the best documentary feature? Tell me, exactly how many of those documentary filmmakers have ever appeared on her show?

--Why was the orchestra playing Aaron Sorkin off the stage halfway through his acceptance speech, drowning out the man who would clearly be the most articulate person to take the stage all night long? 

--If the academy wants the winner's speeches to be shorter, couldn't they simply tell everyone that they can't thank their agents, managers, publicists, fitness instructors and any other support personnel? It's gotten so bad I was worried that one of the winners was going to thank the reporter who did the nice puff piece in Entertainment Weekly too. 

--What exactly was Billy Crystal doing on stage, trying to milk a few laughs from the crowd? As Ken Levine wonderfully put it: "Watching Billy Crystal deliver that painfully desperate monologue was like looking at the nude photos of Nancy Sinatra in Playboy that she took when she was 54."

--I'm betting $100 that the academy gave that extra special "in memoriam" tribute to Lena Horne because--whoops!--the academy was feeling guilty that it didn't nominate any black people for Oscars this year.  

--Kirk Douglas is a movie god, but after having suffered a stroke, his speech is so slurred it's often impossible to understand him. Did the academy really think it was a good idea to make him a presenter, especially when his ad-libs clearly unhinged poor Melissa Leo so much that she shot off an F-bomb when she took the stage?

--In the midst of his otherwise coherent acceptance speech, did Christian Bale actually forget his wife's name? Or was he just really choked up?

--And maybe I'm just sensitive about this because I'm a writer, but wasn't it a little embarrassing for all those actors--Colin Firth excepted--who managed to thank their team of publicists and agents, but not the person who wrote the script that propelled them to Oscar glory?

--Patrick Goldstein 

Photo: Melissa Leo after receiving the supporting actress trophy from Kirk Douglas at the Oscars.

Credit: Gabriel Bouys / AFP/Getty Images

 

Comments

[sophie]

Thank you for confirming that I was very wise in skipping this snooze-fest and self laudatory crap. As I do every year. This industry is not driven by art. It's $$$.

[Jas D]

On its front-page rundown of the awards last night, the New York Times didn't even mention the winning screenwriters. Who do they think gives birth to these stories - the Stork? Jas D

[Ann]

This article is right on the money.

I was so disappointed with most of the speeches - even Colin Firth's wasn't articulate. Melissa Leo's was horrendous and embarrassing! And that cute Natalie Portman couldn't stop saying "ah, ah, ah"....my daughter started counting how many times she went "ah." Aaron Sorkin's was good, yet they drowned him out.

Everyone is complaining about the hosts, but they should be complaining about the bad writing and production - it just didn't flow right. 2010 was a great year in movies, but this was the worst Oscars.

[Howard Hobson]

Not only was the Lena Horne tribute a joke, but they forgot to honor the passing of two other gifted African American film actresses: Janet Maclachlan and Vonetta McGee.

[Christian Toto]

Mostly right on target, though I found Crystal's bit humorous and would love to see him back as host again.

And I don't think you can blame Leo's horrible speech on Douglas!

[GingerSnaps]

Leo is a classless troll; please don't come back next year. I enjoyed Hathaway but Franco seemed out of his comfort zone. Bring back Jon, Alec and Steve, or Hugh!!! And I must agree, Kirk Douglas is a silver screen legend but he was painful to watch on Sunday. Who thought that was a good idea? I love, love, love Colin Firth. Halle and/or Lena Horne always two beauties I enjoy seeing on screen.

[Mark]

Most of your observations were spot on. I'd have to disagree with you on Billy Crystal. If there was anything wrong with bringing him on it was that in 5 minutes he did more to liven the ceremony than the dumbed down presentation of F and A. Seriously, I was young once. I don't ever recall thinking along the lines of "Hmm. Too old." More likely, "Hmm. Legend." Also magnificent is the way that so-called 'actors' selected for the role of presenter, seem incapable of the most rudimentary exchanges of dialog without sounding like they are reading it for the first time. Or maybe they are?

[Juan G.]

Are you really gonna try blaming Kirk Douglas for Melissa Leo's horrible acceptance speech? She was so fake up there. The whole "Mine?" when they were handing her the statue was so fake and lame. I liked her and wanted her to win the trophy and once she won it I was completely turned off by her.

[swf]

The Oscars is an event in search of a 21st century identity. Stop pandering to the mediocre (10 nominees) and the young demographic (hosts-in-training) and create something special that's worth watching.

[Ruthie]

you read my mind