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Patrick Goldstein and James Rainey
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'The Tourist' trounced by critics: Has Johnny Depp ever looked this bad in a movie?

Johnny_depp I guess we know now why Sony didn't let the critics see "The Tourist" until Wednesday morning, barely 48 hours before the film's opening Friday. To hear the critics tell it, the Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie-starring suspense thriller is a stinker. The studio has claimed its decision had nothing to do with being worried about negative reviews, insisting that it was eager to preserve a key plot twist for audiences. But now that the critics have seen the suspense thriller, the jig is up. As the Orlando Sentinel's Roger Moore put it, neither of the actors has any luck convincing us "that they're anything other than pampered movie stars getting paid to do fake hijinx in one of the most romantic cities in the world."

As for preserving that super-secret key plot twist, my pals who've seen the film say you can see it coming from a mile away. The reviews have been so dreadful that the film currently has a 23 at Rotten Tomatoes, which to provide some context is 15 points lower than the score the critics gave to "Burlesque." Variety's Justin Chang says the film is "an all-too-resistible Eurochic trifle." The Miami Herald's Rene Rodriguez could barely stay awake, writing that "The Tourist's" pace is "so slow that the movie could well put Ambien out of business once it starts showing up on late-night cable TV." Even the much-beloved Depp gets creamed in the reviews, with Entertainment Weekly's Owen Gleiberman saying the actor looks like "he's starring in a bad Christopher Columbus biopic," adding that Depp spends most of the film "amusing himself in a way that only dogs can hear." 

The Hollywood Reporter's Todd McCarthy zeroed in on the film's core flaw: "Staggeringly misjudged in virtually every department, from the wannabe effervescent script to Johnny Depp's dopey hairdo, this zero-chemistry pairing of Angelina Jolie and Depp stands as an object lesson in the perils of succumbing to the siren call of big-time Hollywood filmmaking for a foreign director with one art house hit behind him."

In days of old -- meaning five years ago -- Sony and producer Graham King, who's the man who raised the money for the $100-million production, would've laughed off the bad reviews, since audiences would flock to the theaters simply for the privilege of gazing at the film's two megawatt movie stars. But as we've been seeing lately, movie stars no longer have automatic drawing power, especially in the U.S., where audiences have become especially adept at quickly smelling a rotten egg at the multiplex.

Even if the movie ends up making tons of money overseas, the derisive reviews represent a huge career step back for Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck, whose 2006 German thriller, "The Lives of Others," won an Oscar for best foreign language film and established him as the leading new European filmmaker. He spent years figuring out the right film to make in Hollywood, but judging from the early reception to "The Tourist," von Donnersmarck staked his reputation on the wrong horse.     

-- Patrick Goldstein

Photo: Johnny Depp at the world premiere of "The Tourist" earlier this month in New York City. Credit: Stephen Lovekin/Getty Images

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Umm, people really hate Angelina Jolie is another reason it will probably bomb. I'm pretty sure she's always been hated for being crazy but it's reached a fever pitch because of her relationship with brad Pitt. Plus, she's overexposed and even if she's a good actress she almost always chooses bad movies to star in . I hope she has better luck directing.

johnny depp is a charicature these days. it's quite sad to watch him.

Movie "Stars" days are numbered. The myth of them, in this new age of web/streaming/indie media, continues to hold on by its fingertips, but the clock is ticking. The original basics, like story, originality, character, are back and hopefully here to stay. It's sad that every year Hollywood hires MBAs to fill jobs at its studios, rather than talented, artistic film lovers.

People still love Angelina Jolie. That's why Salt did well. How many other actresses were able to single-handedly carry an action film like that one recently? That's right. No others have done so. Audiences will also go to see Johnny Depp. Supposing the movie is bad, that doesn't mean it won't make money. I can think of a lot of horrible flicks that earned a good amount at the box office -- i.e. the Last Airbender and Clash of the Titans.

First of all. I don't believe the "critics" , they tend to regurgitate the same remarks as other critics so.. if one or two have an issue.. then the rest follow.. Just like a bunch of sheep.
I will decide myself whether I like the movie or not, and I think everyone else will be the same.
What a concept that critics made a bad call.
If I remember correctly the "critics" bashed all three of the Pirates movies.. said they wouldn't make a dime. .. Hmm.. think that was at least 3 bad calls..
I suggest that people decide what they like themselves and not listen to critics.

Maybe just me.. but that's what I believe..

I am going to see it tomorrow..

Time will tell....and I will decide myself if I like it or not. It is rude to be so negative about a movie. Period. . . . . :-)

Also, Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp are two of my favs ever. So everyone stop whining, let's watch the movie and I have a feeling.....we will LoVe IT! If you don't like be it!

Ouch. I adore both Johnny and Angelina, but I had a feeling about this one. From other stories that I've read, it was thrown together in a huge hurry. I'm guessing that's the problem. With so much usually right-on talent, it sure seems that that's what happened. No one had time to tweak and fine tune anything. The writers/director didn't have time to fix the script, and the actors didn't have time to find their characters. I hope this doesn't hurt Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck too much. :(

I've seen it twice now and LOVE it! Frank has been added to my list of favorite Johnny characters. Can't wait for the DVD. Poo on the critics. I really think that actually only one critic saw the movie and all the others copied off of his paper. Shame. Go see it.. Make your own decisions.

I like Angelina is excellent actress action and drama.But Johnny without Tim Burton is nothing.

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