The new 'Mission: Impossible' sequel: Could Paramount have picked a worse title?

Not that "Mission: Impossible 4" actually needs any more publicity, but Paramount threw together a news conference in Dubai with Tom Cruise and filmmaker Brad Bird to announce that the film has a new title, or more accurately, one of the worst-ever titles for a major movie sequel: "Mission: Impossible 4: Ghost Protocol." Yikes! I'm assuming the title has something to do with a key character or plot point in the film, but still -- with all the marketing brainpower behind that series, is that the best idea anyone could come up with?

Of course, when it comes to really awful sequel titles, "Ghost Protocol" has a lot of competition. For my money, when it came to bad titles, nothing compared to the 2008 installment of the Indiana Jones franchise, which was called "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull." Although many would argue that the last "X Files" movie moniker was pretty atrocious: "The X-Files: I Want to Believe." (If anyone can think of a real doozy that I've forgotten, please share.)

There are some real stinkers still on the way, notably "Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides," which makes the movie sound like some tacky ghost anthology show from the SyFy Network. In theory, a title is supposed to help define the image of a movie or somehow pique your interest in seeing it. But I can't see either of those things happening when I hear the title for the new Narnia sequel: "The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader." I mean, why not just call it "Narnia 3" and be done with it?

Sometimes less is more. As far as I'm concerned, all you have to say is "Spider-Man 4" and I've got the point already. But in Hollywood, no one would ever dare leave well enough alone. I suspect the studios are already so embarrassed by the cobwebby and predictable stories they've cobbled together for these remakes and sequels that they feel obligated to put a little quasi-creativity into the movies' titles. But call it "Ghost Protocol" or "Midnight Rider," "M:I 4" is still giving us the same old, same old. As Barack Obama so memorably put it during the 2008 campaign, describing a political opponent who was promoting old ideas in a new fashion: "You can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig."

Photo: Tom Cruise at a news conference in Dubai for his new film, "Mission: Impossible: Ghost Protocol."

Credit: AFP/Getty Images  

Comments

[Gary]

My God, two ignorant blog posts in two days (yesterday's re. sequels). How did you get your job? Honestly, are you Sam Zell's illegitimate son? Christ on the cross, you know nothing!

Other readers have schooled you on the Narnia title, so here's some schooling on numerical sequel titles: It's necessary marketing. Yes, there's exceptions (the 'Ring' trilogy) but the easier you make it for consumers to view your films in order, the better it sells. Think international.

Man, the Times used to be the greatest in entertainment reporting - and now reduced to this guy. Sad.

[Bite the Hand]

Wy does the LA Times hate mainstream Hollywood? Could circulation be dropping because of the Dozens of cover stories on KCET, opera and the Symphony. Believe it or not, people love MOVIES! Maybe if the paper found writers that liked them too you could afford to hire writers for the elitist content that has caused circulation to fall 50%!

[Ryan]

lol, this is rich. an unknown columnist for the LATimes, criticizing one of the literary greats in human history, for the title of a book written before he was born.

that's like a tee ball player critiquing A-Rod on his swing.

[Karen]

Do not blame the production company. For those who are initiated into the world of CS Lewis, the title "Voyage of the Dawn Treader" immediately communicates what this book is and creates a desire to see the film. Your suggestion is as absurd in its way as suggesting that the Harry Potter series should have renamed the movie because the concept of a halfblood prince does not speak to American audiences, is racist, or some other nonsense. So, focusing on Dawn Treader was just an uninformed opinion that does not recognize the special challenges of working with canonical works of literature.

[Micael]

"The Voyage of the Dawn Treader" Hmm. Aren't people who review media supposed to be culturally literate? Even if you haven't read the Narnia books, you could have easily looked up the movie title on Google or Wikipedia to find out that the film name comes from the book's name. Furthermore, Narnia 3 wouldn't work work since it is the 5th book in the series. The third book in the series is the Horse and His Boy, which the movie creators skipped.

[Sophie]

Um, seconding Natasha, Realistic Expectations, and undoubtedly others, "The Voyage of the Dawn Treader" is the name of the CS Lewis novel on which the film is based. Presumably.

[Willie]

how is this a bad title? Ghost Recon is only like one of the biggest selling video games ever. And this is marketed to the same audience as that game. A better opinion might be, "Great title."

[Air Force Ones]

Every day is blue day. If you encounter a setback, please look up to the sky, if only the sky is blue, you don't lose the hope.