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Patrick Goldstein and James Rainey
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Is a Hollywood liberal conspiracy keeping 'Red Dawn' away from theaters?

If we could wave a magic wand and do just one thing that would bring true happiness to the right-wing blogosphere, what would it be? Make sure Nancy Pelosi got tossed out as speaker of the House after the Democrats lose big in the November elections? Guarantee that the next Sean Penn movie would be a big bomb? Ensure that President Obama would be brutally skewered by Jon Stewart every night, just as he was Tuesday night?

Reddawnteaser Right now, if we could measure things on our trusty conservative ecstasy meter (which has just emerged from the repair shop after bursting into flames after Elton John performed at Rush Limbaugh's wedding), I'd say that the winner would be the news that Hollywood is about to release a remake of "Red Dawn," the 1984 John Milius Cold War fantasy-thriller about a courageous scrum of young patriots who fend off a Soviet invasion of America. The original film has long been a cult favorite among conservatives, who rarely find any movies to call their own coming off the liberal Hollywood assembly line.

So all across the conservative blogosphere, the word is out that -- miraculously -- Hollywood has made a $75-million movie about kicking Commie ass, with the Commies this time being of the Chinese variety. No one is more enthused than Jason Apuzzo, who just posted a big piece about the film's bona fides on the Libertas Film Magazine, a newly revived version of the blog that set the standard for smart conservative film writing and in its first weeks of new life has already easily surpassed Andrew Breitbart's Big Hollywood, if for no other reason than that Apuzzo and his film-loving cohorts (including the always provocative Govindini Murty, who recently weighed in with a stirring defense of "Sex & the City 2") don't spend all their waking hours simply bashing all the usual lefty Hollywood suspects. 

Apuzzo is full of lusty anticipation over the arrival this November of "Red Dawn," offering the following: "A brazenly patriotic smack-down of Obama-era socialism. Centering around an Afghanistan war vet. Starring Tom Cruise's son. Featuring music by Toby Keith. With a plot devised by the Rand Corporation." For conservatives, it all sounds too good to be true, or as Apuzzo put it: "This is all some sort of gag, right? Hollywood doesn't do this sort of thing. This isn't the 1980's anymore. Wake up! This is the era of 'Avatar.' of 'Fahrenheit 9/11,' of Sean Penn hanging with the mullahs of Iran. The communist Chinese aren't our enemy. ... Our real enemies are American corporations, environmental polluters and all those blonde chicks on Fox News."

I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings, but I have grim news: "Red Dawn" isn't coming Nov. 24, as the conservative blogs have all promised. In fact, no one knows when the movie will ever be released. Although it sounds like yet another liberal Hollywood conspiracy, the movie (which was filmed in Detroit last year) is suffering from a far bigger problem: It was made by MGM, and MGM has run out of money. The troubled studio managed to make several movies recently, one that was already released ("Hot Tub Time Machine"), one that is being released next year by Sony ("The Zookeeper") and one, "Red Dawn," that is in the can but may stay there for quite a while, at least until someone buys MGM or provides the kind of big investment needed to market and distribute new films.

According to an MGM insider, the bloggers have a few other things wrong beside that release date. The film didn't cost $75 million. It was made for $42 million, thanks to a load of tax breaks from being filmed in Michigan. It doesn't have any music by Toby Keith, because no one has recorded any music for its soundtrack yet. (Keith's name was simply used as a reference in the script.) And Tom Cruise's son, Connor, isn't the star, simply one of an ensemble of young actors paying the roles handled by Patrick Swayze, Charlie Sheen and C. Thomas Howell in the original.

But yes, the Commies do get their butts kicked in the new film. So I guess conservatives do have something to look forward to. But if they want to do something constructive to ensure that "Red Dawn" makes it to theaters, I'd advise calling Rupert Murdoch and ask him if he'd spend some of the money he normally puts into the salaries for all those blond chicks on Fox News and give "Red Dawn" a nice slot on the Fox release schedule. After all the money he's made off of "Avatar" and its lefty propaganda about global warming, it's the least Mr. Murdoch could do to level the playing field.

  

 
Comments () | Archives (35)

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Kevin bleated "Most of these posters disparaging the movie were probably never born when the original came out and never knew what it was like to live in the Cold War era."

Well I saw the original in the theatre when it first came out...never laughed so hard at a movie in my life. It was absurd then (250,000 Nicaraguans invading America?! Elite Russian paratroopers dropping on a high school in rural Colorado?!)...a ludicrous, painfully contrived paranoid fantasy based on the usual fearmongering, bedwetting right wing conspiracy theories and I can't imagine the remake would be any less hysterical.

The original is one of those one movies that are so bad they are worth watching for the laughs; whether the remake could rise to that level of camp remains to be seen...maybe a last minute Friday night rental choice...

What makes you think thsi couldnt happen? even with our military as long as theres liberals in charge the countrys done no amount of green jobs will save us and america will not be here in the next 10 years anyways

Michale, I suggest that you stop watching Faux Noise and start reading some real news, as well as getting better books to read-your ignorance is showing through and through.

@Sky Captain: Have you ever taken an economics course? Have you ever lived in Europe, or any other place/economic system outside the US? I have, and it is happening here. No business can operate on deficit spending and survive indefinitely, how can a macro-economy?

Perhaps you should not reference a particular news source (typical partisanship - congratulations!), rather, you should educate yourself in order to make your own e-d-u-c-a-t-e-d conclusions.

Obviously I haven't seen the remake, but the original is an insult to anyone's intelligence. The Soviets defeat the US Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, Coast Guard, Reserves, our NATO allies, hundreds of thousands of police, yet a bunch of yahoos with hunting weapons are able turn back the tanks, gunships and warplanes.

30 years later, there's been no Soviet or any other invasion, and the yahoo's with guns have killed more than 200,000 Americans.

Posted by: Greg M | June 10, 2010 at 11:22 AM

jackass...this wasnt about a group of teenagers winning the war...it is about them becoming freedom fighter using terrorist tactics againstSoviet army(just like in afghanistan) you can see the most POWERFUL army in the world having problems with the exact same scenario right now!!!!

 
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