The Art of the Swine Flu: The strange aesthetic of being sick as a dog

I've been sick with the swine flu for the past few days, hence the sparse number of postings on the blog. At least I assume it's the swine flu, since I got a regular flu shot and I still came down with something (fever, headache, cough, congestion and a generally awful achiness) that hit like a ton of bricks. But I'm not looking for sympathy, not that you'd ever dream of getting any sympathy from the cranky blogosphere.

My point is this. When you're really down-for-the-count sick, your brain begins to operate differently, I've come to believe. We all feel sluggish and dull when we're sick. But I think that when we're sick, our brain chemistry actually changes, making things that we would otherwise happily avoid -- like saltines and chicken soup, or pajamas decorated with purple elephants, for example -- feel strangely reassuring. I think this also applies to art and entertainment. When I am sick, I put on a thick pair of socks, an old pair of sweats, hop in bed and watch old westerns. (It's someone else in the family who wears the pajamas with purple elephants.)

Watching old westerns is not something I would ever do when I am well -- I'm always looking for the next, new cool thing. But when sick, I am looking for cinematic comfort food. And what comforts me the most is the sight of John Wayne (in pretty much any John Ford western, starting with "She Wore a Yellow Ribbon" and "The Searchers," though "Fort Apache" is close behind), Jimmy Stewart (in his great string of westerns directed by Anthony Mann, the best being "Bend of the River" and "The Man From Laramie") or Paul Newman (especially in "Hud," "The Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean" and, of course, "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid"). They are men on epic journeys and heroic quests, solving problems, back when most problems could be solved on horseback. 

I suspect I am not alone in this pursuit of warmth and reassurance. Everyone in my family has gone through the flu bug in the past 10 days, and I've noticed that each one of us reached for similar succor. For years, when my wife would get sick, all she would want to watch was the 1995 BBC production of "Pride and Prejudice," most important, the one with Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy. But now she tucks up and watches old episodes of "The Gilmore Girls," which I suspect offers her the same cozy contentment as westerns do for me. My 11-year-son is happiest watching old DVD highlight packages of the World Series. Even though he knows who's going to win, he still likes reliving the drama of the games.

I suspect that when we are sick, we simply crave familiarity, the comfort of old stories being retold, even though we know how they begin and how they are going to end. When cavemen had the flu, they probably asked whoever was hovering nearby, "Tell me the story again about the time we killed that big mastodon with a few tiny little arrowheads." Since the flu has been going around in a big way, if you've been sick, I'd love to hear what you wanted to watch when you were laid up. If nothing else, I'm curious if there's a common thread here -- or if my family is just a bunch of oddballs. Please share your thoughts.

And as a kicker: watch this video of the International Barbershop Chorus Champions. I first saw it when I was perfectly healthy -- and found it only mildly diverting. But I watched it again when I was sick and had a totally different reaction, finding it weirdly and wonderfully hypnotic. I think when you're sick, your brain is in a very different gear. But see for yourself:

Photo: John Wayne. Credit: Warner Bros.

Comments

[Anne Thompson]

Nobody beats John Ford/John Wayne! I recommend Rio Grande, one of the best movies ever about marriage. There's a part of me that (almost) wishes that I had a bug that would lay me out instead of the half-assed head cold that's dogging me instead.

[studly semite]

Hope you get better... so does this explain the "Why Jews are Not vampires" article. That was most retarded article ever, Patrick. I am a big fan of your column but sorry... that dude makes no sense and he committed the most unforgivable sin: not being funny.

[Traci Vujicich]

I find myself watching daytime TV. I start with the early talk shows, move on to The Price is Right... take a little nap during the soaps, and then hit the afternoon talk shows, have a little dinner instead of watching the news, and round out the day with some game shows.

Considering that I watch NO television at all in my normal life, there is something strangely satisfying about sitting in bed all day (with my purple elephant pajamas) yelling, "What is Sweden!" at the TV.

[Baronpilot]

I had the swine flu about eight weeks ago. What a hellacious ride that was.

After it's all done, you'll need about 5 weeks to get back to normal.

Good luck.

[Greg Kerr]

I agree with your brain chemistry theory: having a bad cold or flu for a couple of days, I'm sure my brain isn't working well. Maybe that's why I've been unable to construct a strategy for what to watch. But watch I do, unable to do much else. I avoided committing to anything over 30 minutes, and tried to avoid anything really good, like some new DVDs I bought, since with my head seemingly spinning, I'd miss 80% of what was going on anyway. Glad to see others are dealing with these weighty issues that you address.

[noah]

Law & Order. Fortunately, it's on 27 hours a day.

[Robert Voss]

Without any question the most authentic, best directed and acted of any Western has to be Ed Harris' "Appaloosa."

[David]

If you're going to be watching John Wayne movies, you've got to include The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance. The scene where newly minted attorney Jimmy Stewart is on his way out west to hang his shingle is a classic. His stagecoach is robbed by Lee Marvin's gang and as Stewart is pulled out of the coach he proclaims "You can't do this...it's against the law!" An incredulous Marvin stares at Stewart and says "law? law? let me teach you some western law!!" and proceeds to beat the heck out of Stewart with the handle of his whip, not stopping till his cronie Lee Van Cleef pulls him off. Almost all the scenes, including the one above, were shot on a soundstage which gives it a Western Noir (if there's such a thing) look. Perfect for flu hallucinations.

[Anthony Hanson]

Wow. You must really be sick, for to talk about westerns and not mention Sam Peckinpah is, well, a little short sighted. He ranks up there with John Ford in terms of his cinematic mastery. Not many westerns are better than The Wild Bunch.