White House celeb no-show Kal Penn: Is he replaceable?

Back in April, "House" star Kal Penn announced that he was ditching Hollywood for a weighty Obama administration gig as associate director at the White House Office of Public Liaison. At the time, we were all wildly impressed that an actor could cast aside the glamor and ego gratification of showbiz for the wonky world of serious politics. But perhaps it was too good to be true. Sadly, the Web is full of reports this morning, led by this post from the Wrap, that Penn -- ahem -- hasn't actually shown up for work yet, with no official start date in sight.

If Penn is bailing out, who would be a good celebrity for the White House to recruit as a replacement? Actually, I have no idea. For some reason, I can only imagine the absolutely wrong kind of celebrity, the kind of loose cannon that the Obama administration would sorely regret ever allowing within a 100-mile radius of the Oval Office. Here's my list of "Top Ten Celebrities That Should Never Be Working at the White House Office of Public Liaison" (feel free to offer any choices of your own):

10) Chris Brown

9) Andy Dick

8) Amy Winehouse

7) Ben Silverman

6) Jon and Kate

5) Sacha Baron Cohen

4) Sean Penn

3) Alec, Stephen, Billy or Daniel Baldwin

2) Joaquin Phoenix and his beard

1) Mickey Rourke

Photo of Kal Penn (right) and John Cho in "Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay" by Jaimie Trueblood / New Line Cinema

Comments

[Da Maverick]

Courtney Love. With her at the helm, the Public of Liason would be renamed as "Public Office of WTF?@!#"

[Da Maverick]

oh here are a couple more:

Sarah Silverman - would be the equivalent of having Larry Flynt in there

Carlos Mencia- would simply xerox copy Press Secretary Robert Gibbs releases, but would write in words like "chinga tu madre" and "retard!" The office would then have to be renamed to "Office of Public Ridicule"

Keiffer Sutherland: head-butting is strongly discouraged in the White House.

Tom Cruise- the office requires interaction with members of the public, including Thetans.

Snoop Dogg- Would be ineffective or obvious reasons.
Kim Kardashian- Not THAT public!!

[Whaddya expect]

This guy was uncouth and glib during the primary, so it's no surprise if he's flaking. He also perpetuated fallacies with breathy assuredness, i.e. that Obama voted against the Iraq war. Fact: Obama did not vote against or for the Iraq war. Obama was NOT a member of Congress at that time. Moreover, during an interview at that time, Obama stated he did not know how he would've voted had he been in Congress. During the election, it became politically convenient to gloss over that fact and say he had been opposed to it. However, he never participated in an actual vote.

[Matt Wayne]

I like the idea of Sean Penn. I thought about driving to New Orleans and pulling people out of the water after Katrina, too, but I never actually got in the car. A public-spirited guy like that should be working in government, right?

[The Passionate Conservative]

Janeane Garafalo...definitely...

[dznts]

Harold/Kumar 2012

[cody mccall]

Martin Sheen is perfect. It would be interesting to see how he reacts when he's in the REAL Oval Office. Might he challenge Obama on who should be sitting behind that big desk?

[FeFe]

Jaime Foxx

Joe Biden

[Kevin]

Ozzy Osbourne