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Patrick Goldstein and James Rainey
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Hollywood crazy talk: The week's biggest whoppers!

There's a great old Mose Allison song called "Your Mind Is on Vacation, But Your Mouth Is Working Overtime" that pretty much captures what happens when people in show business, either through sheer pathological cluelessness or plain old blind arrogance, say incredibly, outrageously dumb things, oblivious to just how idiotic they sound to the naked ear. 

I thought it would be fun to collect some of the biggest whoppers of the week, present them for your consideration, and let you weigh in on which remark seems the most preposterous. 

We have so many worthy candidates, but here are a few doozies (with some reaction of my own):

Meganfox Asked to answer Megan Fox's charge that he didn't present her with any acting opportunities in the new "Transformers" film, director Michael Bay said: "You roll your eyes when you see statements like that. I 100% disagree with her. Nic Cage wasn't a big actor when I cast him, nor was Ben Affleck before I put him in 'Armageddon.' "

Comment: Talk about an eye roller! Nic Cage wasn't a big actor before he met Michael Bay? No, he'd only won a best actor Oscar (for "Leaving Las Vegas") and worked with everyone from Francis Coppola to the Coen Brothers. And Ben Affleck. Oh yeah, he'd already been in "Good Will Hunting," which earned seven Oscar nominations (with Affleck taking home an Oscar for writing the screenplay with Matt Damon). Judging from their post-Bay career trajectory, I'd argue that neither guy ever recovered from working with Mr. Transformers.

Defending his client's mega flop "Imagine That" this week, Eddie Murphy's publicist Arnold Robinson told the New York Times that the movie was not a failure at all, saying, "Paramount Pictures will make money on 'Imagine That' when all is said and done, because it was not an expensive film to make."

Comment: It's one thing to stick up for your client. It's another thing to take a flying leap off an 80-story building without a parachute. As the Times pointed out, Wall Street analysts have already said the movie was such a disaster that the studio may forced to take a write-off because of its dismal performance. If you're a good publicist, when forced to choose between credibility and loyalty, pick credibility every time.

Although she was supposedly a good friend of Michael Jackson, Liza Minnelli told CBS' "The Early Show" that Jackson's autopsy results won't be pretty, saying, "All of us who knew him well really know what he was like. And I'm sure that now the accolades are going, and I'm sure when the autopsy comes, all hell's going to break loose."

Comment: With friends like that, who needs enemies? It almost sounds like Liza is relishing the notion of Jackson being dragged through the dirt. Divorced four times, in and out of the tabloids for years for all sorts of erratic, truly strange behavior, Minnelli is the last person who should be tastelessly talking trash about Jackson's messy private life and drug-related problems. Liza, all I can say is: It takes one to know one. 

So you decide: Who wins the whopper of the week?  

Photo of Megan Fox by Noel Vasquez / Getty Images

   

 
Comments () | Archives (9)

The comments to this entry are closed.

The section dealing with Liza Minnelli is very deceptive, as anyone who actually watched/listened to the interview would know. Someone who actually istened to her interview on the morning show would never so breezily declare her to be tastefully talking trash.Ms. Minnelli sounded genuinely upset during the interview and the supposed quote is a truncated, misrepresented version of her remarks.

First of all, when Liza says "all of us who knew him well really knew what he is like," it is clear that she is referring to how she knew Michael as a person as opposed to the caricature the tabloids have long painted. I find it hard to believe that someone who listened to the interview would miss that specific context in which her words were spoken.

Finally, after Liza says the "all hell's going to break loose" part, she says, "SO THANK GOD WE'RE CELEBRATING HIM NOW."

The "all hell's going to break loose" is not meant as a dig or insult or a slip of schadenfraude, but an insightful comment on the media firestorm that will surround every facet of Michael Jackson's death. In essence, Ms. Minnelli was affirming the need to celebrate Michael Jackson's life and legacy before all the gory details would be replayed ad infinitum by the media.

I would think it would behoove a professional journalist to give a reliable representation of an interview in the interest of journalistic integrity. Sadly, it seems this author has sacrificed that integrity for snark. How unfortunate.

The section dealing with Liza Minnelli is very deceptive, as anyone who actually watched/listened to the interview would know. Someone who actually istened to her interview on the morning show would never so breezily declare her to be tastefully talking trash.Ms. Minnelli sounded genuinely upset during the interview and the supposed quote is a truncated, misrepresented version of her remarks.

First of all, when Liza says "all of us who knew him well really knew what he is like," it is clear that she is referring to how she knew Michael as a person as opposed to the caricature the tabloids have long painted. I find it hard to believe that someone who listened to the interview would miss that specific context in which her words were spoken.

Finally, after Liza says the "all hell's going to break loose" part, she says, "SO THANK GOD WE'RE CELEBRATING HIM NOW."

The "all hell's going to break loose" is not meant as a dig or insult or a slip of schadenfraude, but an insightful comment on the media firestorm that will surround every facet of Michael Jackson's death. In essence, Ms. Minnelli was affirming the need to celebrate Michael Jackson's life and legacy before all the gory details would be replayed ad infinitum by the media.

I would think it would behoove a professional journalist to give a reliable representation of an interview in the interest of journalistic integrity. Sadly, it seems this author has sacrificed that integrity for snark. How unfortunate.

The whopper is that if anyone knows about all hell breaking lose with an autopsy after accolades it is Liza Minnelli. Forty years ago, June 20, 1969, her mother, Judy Garland, was found dead of an alleged overdose, and according to Liza the coroner's report stated Judy had died of a heart failure. Judy Garland was 47. Liza is an expert on how the media runs from the accolades to the autopsy. She was just letting the media know that she knows what will happen, because this is what happened to her and her family. She is the surviving daughter whose mother died the same way as Michael Jackson. The whopper is the Goldstein and his insensitivity to Liza living through her mother's memory again and the loss of her friend.

The whopper is that if anyone knows about all hell breaking lose with an autopsy after accolades it is Liza Minnelli. Forty years ago, June 20, 1969, her mother, Judy Garland, was found dead of an alleged overdose, and according to Liza the coroner's report stated Judy had died of a heart failure. Judy Garland was 47. Liza is an expert on how the media runs from the accolades to the autopsy. She was just letting the media know that she knows what will happen, because this is what happened to her and her family. She is the surviving daughter whose mother died the same way as Michael Jackson. The whopper winner is Goldstein and his insensitivity to Liza living through her mother's memory again and the loss of her friend.

June 20, 1969, 40 years ago, Liza's mother Judy Garland died of heart failure, and the autopsy allegedly showed an accidental drug overdose. Before the autopsy the accolades flowed about the legacy of Judy Garland. After the autopsy all the media focused on was how she died, not how she lived. Liza is an expert on how the media destroys the memory of a famous person after the autopsy results. Liza is not being cruel, she is being real to the parents, siblings and children of her friend Michael Jackson. The winning whopper goes to the "journalist" who missed the real news here - 40 years ago, 47-year-old Judy Garland died of an apparent accidental drug overdose resulting in heart failure and her untimely death, leaving behind Liza, Lorna and Joey.

June 20, 1969, 40 years ago, Liza's mother Judy Garland died of heart failure, and the autopsy allegedly showed an accidental drug overdose. Before the autopsy the accolades flowed about the legacy of Judy Garland. After the autopsy all the media focused on was how she died, not how she lived. Liza is an expert on how the media destroys the memory of a famous person after the autopsy results. Liza is not being cruel, she is being real to the parents, siblings and children of her friend Michael Jackson. The winning whopper goes to the "journalist" who missed the real news here - 40 years ago, 47-year-old Judy Garland died of an apparent accidental drug overdose resulting in heart failure and her untimely death, survived by her children Liza Minnelli, Lorna and Joey Luft.

The section dealing with Liza Minnelli is very deceptive, as anyone who actually watched/listened to the interview would know. Someone who actually istened to her interview on the morning show would never so breezily declare her to be tastefully talking trash.Ms. Minnelli sounded genuinely upset during the interview and the supposed quote is a truncated, misrepresented version of her remarks.

First of all, when Liza says "all of us who knew him well really knew what he is like," it is clear that she is referring to how she knew Michael as a person as opposed to the caricature the tabloids have long painted. I find it hard to believe that someone who listened to the interview would miss that specific context in which her words were spoken.

Finally, after Liza says the "all hell's going to break loose" part, she says, "SO THANK GOD WE'RE CELEBRATING HIM NOW." which the author clearly omits.

The "all hell's going to break loose" is not meant as a dig or insult or a slip of schadenfraude, but an insightful comment on the media firestorm that will surround every facet of Michael Jackson's death. In essence, Ms. Minnelli was affirming the need to celebrate Michael Jackson's life and legacy before all the gory details would be replayed ad infinitum by the media.

I would think it would behoove a professional journalist to give a reliable representation of an interview in the interest of journalistic integrity. Sadly, it seems this author has sacrificed that integrity for snark. How unfortunate.

Clearly the narcissistic whopper award goes to Mr. Bay.

As for Ms. Minnelli, she spoke with the wisdom of a great deal of experience in these matters, and in every interview she gave this week, she was expressing just that: put the positive celebration of talent out first, because the press will obliterate it once the autopsy comes in. She was, in fact, being respectful yet honest. Certainly nothing disloyal about that. Mr Goldstein surely could have found a third boneheaded remark this week, but Liza's wasn't it. (Perhaps Goldstein's edited quote itself better qualifies)

The biggest whopper is this self-serving blog by Goldstein.


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