Election + Oscar pundits = absurd

Anyone who doesn't believe that the Oscars haven't been thoroughly hijacked by a gang of daffy, clown-suit-clad Oscar bloggers making endlessly moronic best picture predictions just hasn't been paying attention. But now apparently every world news event qualifies as having a seismic influence on the Oscar race. Variety's Anne Thompson -- a journalist I respect -- seems to have temporarily lost her marbles, claiming in her blog that the passage of Proposition 8's gay marriage ban "could actually boost" "Milk's" Oscar chances, saying that "the fact that California did not defeat the ban could energize the largely liberal academy base" and make voters realize "that we have not come far enough."

Over at Entertainment Weekly's Oscar blog, Dave Karger is claiming that "this week's election-day results may have a profound effect" on the best picture chances of ... "The Dark Knight"! I have to admit that I read his post four or five times, worried that I'd somehow missed the gag. But apparently Karger is serious, claiming that because part of the film "speaks to the innate goodness of human behavior" and because Oscar ballots are due Jan. 12, that "most Hollywood types" will be swayed to give awards to the picture. What is the magical significance of Jan. 12? you're probably asking. 

IT'S JUST A WEEK BEFORE BARACK OBAMA'S INAUGURATION, YA DUMMY! Don't you think you'll be in a mood to reward innate human goodness right about then? And when you think of innate human goodness, don't you immediately summon up your favorite scenes from "The Dark Knight"? DON'T YA?

Frankly, I don't know whether to laugh or weep. If I were a conservative, I'd be tempted to say all this pie-in-the-sky blather is a perfect example of how liberal media types are swooning over the kumbaya spirit of the new post-Bush era. Or deluded into thinking that handing "Milk" an Oscar would actually for a second change the minds of all the closed-minded people out there who seem threatened or offended by the idea of two gay people in love being allowed to say their vows.

All this probably tells us is that Oscar watchers are so obsessed by, well, their obsession with the awards racket that they assess every event through the golden statue prism. (It's not so different than the way my Great-Aunt Toots used to react to the news, be it of Russia electing a new premier or a department store going out of business, by remarking: "Is this bad for the Jews?")

I'm sure plenty of Oscar voters are ticked off that Prop 8 (nicknamed Prop Hate in many Hollywood quarters) is such a step backward for our normally tolerant state. But does that really mean that after they're dazzled by "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" or enraptured by "Slumdog Millionaire," that they'll react by saying -- try to hear the robotic tone of this voice in your head -- "I know that was a wonderful movie, but I must remember there are more serious matters in the world than a wonderful cinematic experience. I must vote my political conscience during this important Oscar season."

Yeh, right.

Photo of Oscar statues by Paul Hawthorne/Getty Images

(Editor's note: Oops. Earlier in the day we mistakenly wrote "election" instead of "inauguration" when referring to what's going to happen with Obama in Janurary.)

Comments

[Jeremy]

Do you really think Anne Thompson is that off base? Think about "An Inconvenient Truth" from 2006. It won Best Documentary and Best Song, of which it had neither. "Truth" was basically a filmed powerpoint presentation whose issue won it those awards, not the film itself.

Take a film like, "Milk" though, which so far is one of the best films of the year, and combine it with the current political climate and I don't see why it couldn't be a strong contender.

[JB]

Prop 8 likely passed due to the massive turnout among black conservative churchgoers -- voting for Barack.

You got a problem with how black people vote, you typical Hollywood whiteys? Thought not.

[AJ]

I don't agree with The Dark Knight being helped, but I see his point. Milk was without a doubt helped tremendously by the victory of Prop H8te. While people have seen Milk and The Dark Knight, they have yet to see The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Yet here you are saying it will dazzle oscar voters. A comment like that makes you seem like nothing more than one of those oscar bloggers.

[Christian Toto]

Agree with the first poster. The same year "Inconvenient Truth" came out, so did "Deliver Us From Evil," one of the most powerful, stirring documentaries I've ever seen. Yet which doc brought home the Oscar?

[Dera]

Patrick, I salute you, sir. An excellent post.

"!IT'S JUST A WEEK BEFORE BARACK OBAMA'S INAUGURATION, YA DUMMY! Don't you think you'll be in a mood to reward innate human goodness right about then? And when you think of innate human goodness, don't you immediately summon up your favorite scenes from "The Dark Knight"? DON'T YA?"

I'm sure you do - if you're about 17, which seems to be the mental age of most of these self-styled internet Oscar bloggers. It appears to be a combustible mixture of adolescents with all the arrogance & certainty of movie watching youth - Chris Nolan is a 'genius', David Fincher is 'overdue', 'respected', Clint Eastwood is 'boring' & The Dark Knight the best movie ever made - & frustrated gay viewers who think the Academy should ditch serious movies (unless they're gay themed, naturally) & award very Oscar in sight. to something shallow, splashy & very camp. Oh, & with the most simply gorgeous costumes naturally!

Why these people think the Academy are likely to take any notice of their idiotic ramblings is perhaps the biggest question of all. Still, if it keeps them off the streets ..

And I agree about the normally reliable Anne Thompson who to judge by her comments on Milk appears to have become temporarily unhinged. Let's hope she recovers soon.

[Michael F.]

"The Dark Knight" rationale is, indeed, daffy, but Thompson's argument holds water. Movies exist in the real world, and the experience of watching "Milk" will be a different one now than if 8 hadn't passed. Contrary to Goldstein's silly example, it won't be a robotic voice encouraging people to consider "Milk," but an emotional one in the wake of so many broken hearts.

[Oriskney]

How do I use a blog? I have discovered tow singers that I wish to promote and make more widely known. (1) Isabelle Boulay is a chantrause Qubecois. She has an extra ordinary voice. Nearly all of her songs are in French. Thus, the songs would never resonate in the U.S. the audience of which is very limited. (2) Lara Fabian is a fabulos signer born of a Belgian father and a Scilian mother. Lara says her idol is Barbara Streisand. Ms Streisand gave her faint praise saying she had talent. Lara, who can sing equally well in French, English, Italian and Spanish is tons better than Ms Striesand an tons better than the Canadian import Celine Dion. I wish Lara Fabian's talents could be shown to the American public.

[Dean Treadway]

I loved this post. Nothing is more idiotic than trying to predict the Oscar nominations without seeing any of the movies. Doing so is to be as moronic as the goofball film execs who try and pick hits based on what was a hit last year. So when I unfortunately waste my time reading The Envelope, EW, or my most hated Oscar blog, In Contention, I have to hold back from calling everybody out on their jumping of the proverbial gun. Hey, guys/gals, how about trumpeting the movies you have actually seen that may be forgotten? Or, better yet, sitting back and watching some old or obscure movies for a change, so you can further your cinema education? If you grow a little smarter, maybe you'll benefit by simply learning not to waste your time composing masturbatory inklings on a subject about which many care not a whit. I mean, what is there to gain by throwing these groundless predictions out there?