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Pickup lines for the lonesome and tech savvy

August 17, 2011 | 12:51 pm


People love inventing new pickup lines.

There are customized ones for almost every hobby or profession, so really, it was only a matter of time before the tech savvy dreamt up new (and cringe-worthy) ones for the Internet age -- all about YouTube stardom, Twitter handles and swaggering claims of being crowned mayor on Foursquare.

Here are a few from the wordsmiths at McSweeney's literary journal:

“As of now, my mother doesn’t have a Facebook account so, if we were to take this thing to the next level, you wouldn’t have to worry about rejecting her inappropriate Family Request.”

“Do you come here often? I do. I’m the Foursquare mayor, actually, which means I come here more than anyone else. That reminds me, I need to check-in. Can I have your Twitter handle? You’re so attractive, I want to Shout it from multiple applications. Simultaneously.”

“I know you’re a complete stranger, but I’d gladly waste one of my Spotify invitations on you. Give me your number and I’ll throw in a Google+ invite. I’d put you in my ‘Babe’ Circle.”

“That gorgeous woman over there keeps looking this way, like she recognizes me or something. I do maintain a mildly successful YouTube account with over sixty subscribers, so I’m used to this sort of unwelcome attention. Are you an actress?”

And Forbes:

"Can I borrow your smartphone? I need to post a Facebook status update that I've met the woman of my dreams, in order to make all the ex-girlfriends I'm still Facebook friends with jealous."

"You must be tired because you've been streaming through my RSS feed all day."

Of course, whether any of these will actually get you a date is another matter entirely. But feel free to contribute any snazzy lines you've heard or invented in the comments section below.


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Photo: Guests party at Surrender nightclub in Las Vegas. Credit: Isaac Brekken / Los Angeles Times