What parents think teens are doing on social networks, and what the teens are actually doing

Teens may not be into Twitter, but 51% say they log into a social network such as Facebook at least once a day. Credit: Gauldo via Flickr.

Do you know where your teens are on the Web tonight?

Most parents aren't surprised by the most likely answer: social networks. But they may be unsettled by what their kids are doing on those sites, according to a survey to be released Monday by Common Sense Media, a San Francisco advocacy group.

The survey polled 1,013 teens and 1,002 parents. The bottom line: Parents consistently underestimate how much time their kids spend on social networks and how often they engage in risky behavior, such as posting revealing photos of themselves, bullying other kids or hacking into their friends' accounts. The study mirrors an earlier report from Common Sense Media on kids using technology to cheat in school.

Here's a sample of the new report's findings: 

• 37% of teens said they used social networks to make fun of other students, but only 18% of parents believe their own angels do so.
  
• 13% of teens said they posted naked or semi-naked photos or videos of themselves. Only 2% of parents said their kids have done that.
  
• 24% of teens said they signed on to someone else's account without permission, while only 4% of parents said their kids have done that.
  
• 28% of teens posted personal information that they normally would not have revealed in public, but 16% of parents said their kids did that.

What to do? Common Sense suggests ...

... parents first learn about these networks by registering and exploring the networks their children are in. Because Facebook and MySpace don't allow kids under 13 to open accounts, parents with younger children should check their browsers' histories to see where their kids are going.

For parents of teens who are already on social networks, Common Sense suggested they talk with their kids about privacy settings, whom not to friend and precautions to take when posting personal information.

"Remind teens that everything they post can essentially be seen by a vast, invisible audience," the group said in its report. "And tell them that online stuff can last forever. If they wouldn't put something on the hallway in school, they shouldn't post it on their pages."

-- Alex Pham

Follow my random thoughts on games, gear and technology on Twitter @AlexPham.

Comments

[Priyanka D]

quite alarming stats to know that so many teenagers are doing such unruly and foolish things on social networks. What might also help is if parents sit down with kids and talk abt social networking.. in a casual way. Pointing out how somethings are not cool.

[Raganeau]

Hmm... *More* media hype overplaying the risks of going online. *More* coverage that only reports a fear of the dark side rather than doing any in-depth investigation to find out if such a fear is justified or if it is the effect of panicking and hysteria run wild.

I'm not denying that going online carries risks. But this is no different than the real world -- as Bilbo Baggins astutely notes, "It's a dangerous business stepping outside your door. If you don't keep your feet, there's no telling where you'll be swept off to." And yet we all step outside our doors on a daily basis. We expose ourselves to various risks in the real world and in cyberspace every day. And for the most part, we manage those risks.

I prefer to listen to Danah Boyd's thoughts on this subject. (Danah did her PhD at the School of Information at UC Berkeley. She now works at Microsoft Research New England and is a Fellow at the Harvard Berkman Center for Internet and Society). She offers some excellent thoughts about the reality (as opposed to the overhyped paranoia) of going online here:

http://www.zephoria.org/thoughts/archives/2005/11/02/growing_up_in_a.html

http://www.zephoria.org/thoughts/archives/2007/04/07/cyberbullying.html

[David]

teenagers will always find a way to be out there experimenting. If face book had stricter adult like rules for joining, like eHarmoney, AtomicMen or even Match.com, they may have less of a problem. Teens will be teens but I agree - talk to them about it. Once they know you the parent are all about being causal and talking about it in a non judgmental way - they will no longer find it "cool".

[Stacie Rumenap]

The amount of time teens spend online may shock many parents, but it does not come as a surprise to community and industry leaders. With an ever expanding menu of free online applications targeted at today’s youth, there will always be some new and exciting tool prodding them to stay online. Though the Internet has become an integral tool for scholastic and social outlets alike, many kids lack the judgment to know what consequences may come from their online use. Take cyberbullying for instance, where teens tease and harass one another mostly through social networking sites. The issue is being debated in state legislatures, school classrooms, and even the courts. Yet, most parents are at a loss when it comes to addressing the threats and temptations facing their children in a world that is often foreign to their generation. It is more important than ever for parents to educate themselves on these sorts of issues, and keep the lines of communication open between them, their kids, school teachers, the technology industry, and in some cases, even law enforcement.

The Internet may seem scary to those who did not grow up with it, but for its countless dangers, there are invaluable benefits to the academic and cultural development of today’s children and teens. By working together and staying on the forefront of emerging technologies, we can ensure that children are given all the benefits that Internet technologies have to offer. To learn how to keep your family safe online please visit www.StopInternetPredators.org.

Stacie Rumenap
President
Stop Child Predators & Stop Internet Predators

[Kids Games]

The internet serves as a mask for kids. Many think they can get away with more from behind the protection of a computer screen. It's important that kids today learn online protocol and manners, a new kind of social etiquette.

[LauraJay]

Okay, this article makes me laugh. Teens use social networking sites to talk to one another and usually they make it easier to make plans. To me the following list of 'bad' behavior is incredibly petty. This isnt anything a parent should try to control or consult them about. Parents need to give their kids space and let me experiment on their own. If they make fun of kids online, they are likely to gain enemies, have rumors spread about them and even instigate violence. If they post nude or semi nude photos of themselves they only make themselves out to look dumb and their peers are less likely to take them seriously.
i'm a teenager, i use social networking sites and i know this.
Dont smother your children.

[Matt]

I am saddened to hear your comments on the above article. I don't believe in parents smothering their kids, and I particularly don't believe that this article is recommending them to do so. One of the greatest steps a person can take in life is the realization that they don't know everything. This goes for adults and teenagers. Typically, the two generations need to learn different things, but the point to be made is that many times teenagers don't understand the full potential of their actions. They often don't think past the moment that they are in. Posting semi-nude photos online is no laughing matter. Predators are searching for these very things as I type... We need a connectivity between parents and their kids. Not a smothering, a relationship. How else are we to learn how to live life? I certainly don't want to learn life from the internet.

[G]

These statistics are really scary. But, teens all around the world use social networks. Parents need to be aware of what their kids are doing on these sites but first they need to show trust. I am a teen writer at RadicalParenting.com which is a parenting blog from the kid's perspective there are 60 teen and tween writers run by teen author, Vanessa Van Petten. We just posted a video of "Why do Teens Use Social Networking Sites?" here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g6YT6sEDZiE

and would love for you to check it out and tell us what you think or repost if you like it,

Cheers, thanks for checking it out!

G and the Teen Team
http://radicalparenting.com

[Chauffer Tate]

This is an excellent article which should open many parents eyes to the realities of their teens true activities online.