Site tells when to head for the head during a movie

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The wizard is all wise, but does he know the exact moment to run for the restroom? Credit: Warner Bros.

Just when you thought the Internet provided every possible information service, along comes Runpee.com.

The site lists current movies in theaters and suggests points in the action during which you could quickly run to the restroom without missing anything substantial.

For example, let’s say you’re watching the latest ‘Harry Potter’ movie and feeling the need. Runpee (which almost sounds like the name of a character in the movie) suggests you hold on until minute 33, at which point ‘Dumbledore says, ‘off to bed, pip-pip.’ ‘ Or you could wait until 1 hour and 47 minutes, when ‘Harry invites Professor Slughorn to go and see Hagrid with him.’

Those are your cues to run to the john, a.s.a.p. (or perhaps, a.s.a.pee).

Later, if you want to check out what happened during either of those scenes, you can click to unscramble a synopses of the next few minutes.

There are also suggested pee times on the site, currently, for ‘Funny People,’ ‘Bruno,’ ‘Transformers’ and several more.

If you don’t plan ahead, it would of course be inconvenient to carry a laptop into a theater and hope for wi-fi. But no worries, Runpee has an iPhone app! And users have already suggested to the site that it develop similar apps for other cellphones.

Let’s just hope Runpee doesn’t get too popular. Otherwise there would be a mass run to the restrooms right at the point in ‘Land of the Lost’ when Dr. Marshall talks to the space lizard. That is, if anyone had gotten that far into the movie.

If nature calls in an empty theater, does anyone hear it?

-- David Colker