EHarmony to offer same-sex matches after New Jersey settlement*

Coming soon to EHarmony -- Adam and Steve.

The Pasadena-based dating website, heavily promoted by Christian evangelical leaders when it was founded, has agreed in a civil rights settlement to give up its heterosexuals-only policy and offer same-sex matches.

EHarmony was started by psychologist Neil Clark Warren, who is known for his mild-mannered television and radio advertisements. It must not only implement the new policy by March 31 but also give the first 10,000 same-sex registrants a free six-month subscription.

"That was one of the things I asked for," said Eric McKinley, 46, who complained to New Jersey's Division on Civil Rights after being turned down for a subscription in 2005.

The company said that Warren was not giving interviews on the settlement. But attorney Theodore Olson, who issued a statement on the company's behalf, made clear that it did not agree to offer gay matches willingly.

"Even though we believed that the complaint resulted from an unfair characterization of our business," Olson said, "we ultimately decided it was best to settle this case with the attorney general since litigation outcomes can be unpredictable."

The settlement, which did not find that EHarmony broke any laws, calls for the company to either offer the gay matches ...

... on its current venue or create a new site for them. EHarmony has opted to create a site called Compatiblepartners.net.

Warren had said in past interviews that he didn't want to feature same-sex services on EHarmony -- which matches people based on long questionnaires concerning personality traits, relationship history and interests -- because he felt he didn't know enough about gay relationships.

McKinley, who works at a nonprofit in New Jersey he declined to identify, said that he had originally heard of EHarmony through its radio ads. "You hear these wonderful people saying, 'I met my soul mate on EHarmony.' I thought, I could do that too," he said.

But he couldn't. When he tried to enter the site, the pull-down menus had categories only for a man seeking a woman or a woman seeking a man. "I felt the whole range of emotions," McKinley said. "Anger, that I was a second-class citizen."

But instead of just surfing over to a dating site that admits gay lonely hearts, he contacted the New Jersey civil rights division to file a complaint.

The settlement also calls for EHarmony to pay $50,000 to the state for administrative costs and $5,000 to McKinley.

McKinley hasn't found the man of his dreams yet. And though EHarmony has to offer him a year's free subscription on the new service, he's not sure he'll accept it.

"They are going to know my name," McKinley said. "They could be watching my membership."

-- David Colker

Photo: EHarmony founder Neil Clark Warren in 2005. Credit: Gary Friedman / Los Angeles Times

* UPDATED at 3:24 p.m. with the name of the website EHarmony plans to launch for same-sex dating.

Comments

[Rebecca Heidt]

Aren't there enough sites out there that the gays could use?I think forcing eHarmony to pander to the Homosexuals is GAY.

[Michelle]

Neil Clark-Warren is a sell out. I can't believed he caved into pressure from gay rights groups that think they can intimidate everyone. How disappointing.

One has to wonder if e-harmony really had to settle the case this way? It seems to me to be a convenient excuse to earn more money.

[Brendan Patrick]

It's about time!!! Enough discrimination, already. Americans wouldn't allow matchmaking websites to discriminate on the basis of race or religion; how is sexual orientation any different? Finally, the end is near for the hate-based discrimination against the gay and lesbian community. The religious zealots who are trying to stop civil rights will be silenced soon enough by a wonderful document called the united States Constitution:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

[Bob]

Neil Clark Warren does not own the Eharmony company it is run by a third party. It is really disturbing to see that this court is strong arming a privately owned company to create essentially a brand new product and service to fit someone's political views....since when did any law establish a right to Eharmony?
It's like filing a class action lawsuit against pizza hut because they do not offer soy based cheese for lactose intolerant customers.

[Daniel]

How disappointing that another company is being forced to give up its rights to the gay and lesbian movement. The arguments about rights are horribly off base and this is a troubling trend. What rights to business owners lose next?

[ThomasAlex]

How gay, its like forcing White only dating sites to allow other races!

[Somebody]

Who wants to join me in a class action law suit against gay dating web sites that don't provide services for heterosexuals?

oh no! i hope the gays on eharmony don't start turning everyone all gay! what'll we do?!

[linda]

Somebody has the right idea!

[Greg]

A second-class citizen? Let us see a gay sue his way into a Muslim site. I'm so tired of the whinning gay.

[Mark VanGelder]

They shouldn't be on television claiming to find "soul mates" unless they are equipped to provide equal rights. It would be just as wrong and discriminatory if they were only offering white people matches. The homophobes in this country are either going to have to get over it on their own or seek professional help. Gay people WILL have equal rights and those of us that support them will be right along side them protesting until they do! Enough is enough already. This country has been sick with hate and discrimination for far too long to claim to be so free and democratic.

[f4edom]

This is starting to get stupid.

I am sick of the gay community trying to ram their lifestyle down my throat.
This is antoher example of the baligerent SEXEST views. Yes, SEXUAL discrimination by the GAY community against anyone who feels different. How hypocritical and sad!
This is one group of selfish, selfserving parasites.

Have some pride. The voters have spoken, prop 8 is law.
"Weather you like it or not"!

[devils advocate]

SO SO gay, its like giving women, minorities (etc.) equal rights or equal pay....who ever came up with such an idea. Doesn't the bible speak clearly that they are not equal...what is the world coming to??

Jeesh people grow the heck up.

[Stop being PC]

A total absurdity!
Does a woman file a lawsuit because she cannot enter men restroom?
eHarmony deserves every right to serve only heterosexual. The homosexuals DO have their own dating websites to go to.
This is another attack from the gays/courts toward heterosexuals.
We should stop being politically correct, and honestly stand up of what we believe in. The judicial court must stop being politically correct. This is totally unjust for the heterosexual community.

[devils advocate]

stop the absurdity....why don't we go back to the old days when nobody counted except white, heterosexual, christian men.....it was sooo sooo simply then.

screw gays, women, minorites or equal smiqual !!

[Christopher Gibson]

How exciting to see another "Berlin Wall" of prejudice fall in our lifetime. Now the "E" in E-Harmony can stand for Equality.

[TN transplant]

Equal rights is a concept that applies to government, not private enterprise. In our economic system, if there was a demand for a gay matching service, someone would develop it. It is a very sad commentary that the government and court system allows itself to be used to interfere with private enterprise. The equal rights argument would apply if there was a law against a gay matching business operating.

If gay folks want the benefits of a private business, they should do what every businessman does, go out and do it. If there is not enough demand for it, it must not be a viable concept.

[John S.]

This has nothing to do with "civil rights" for gays. It is not about tolerance. It is about rubbing homosexuality in the face of everyone who does not endorse it. If we don't pander to the idea that homosexuality is yummy-yum-yum good then we must be humbled. Gays demand from society the affirmation they were so often denied by their own parents. We will be made to pay for the look of horror in the eyes of the young man's father when he first realizes his son is gay. We must all pay--and any social institution that stands in the way will be leveled or gutted in search of a cure for emotional wounds and an intrinsic "otherness" that human society can not hope to fix. How sad.

[.]

"Who wants to join me in a class action law suit against gay dating web sites that don't provide services for heterosexuals?"

Good luck finding them - you will find that most of the sites that include homosexuals either offer hets the same services, or have more ancillary companies like the one set up by eharmony.

Know that if you sign up for their site, you will be contributing to anti-gay initiatives, as Niel Clark Warren is an evangelical christian, and well known homophobe.

[oshea]

No matter how you feel on this is has signifigant meaning. The message is clear DISCRIMINATION WILL NOT BE TOLERATED AND GAY PEOPLE WILL NO LONGER WAIT FOR YOU TO LEARN TOLERANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Get with the times people.

[Thomas]

This is not about equal rights for gays. This is about taking the rights away from people who are religious or heterosexual. I never gave any thought to a persons sexual preference before but with all the hateful intolerant nasty behavior I'm seeing from gays lately, I say the hell with them. The my way or else mentality is going to get you an equally nasty response.

[Nuge]

Wow, I see how low we have become in this country. Just because you chose to be Gay and look at the same sex an option doesn't mean everyone should cater to you. Your not disabled, so why do you feel the legal system should cater to your kind ALL the time??? Discrimination now includes a gay clause, marriage is under attack and if California voted to approve Proposition 88 then get over it. Your kind has already been waited on hand and foot. Slavery ended a long time ago, why can't you live your life without putting your Sex all over my TV news screen, and out of the faces of american Children ages K-12?
And yes I would stand in front of every single GLBT member and tell them to their face that they don't deserve to marry ever. Get in line. God doesn't say to hate Gays, but they believe this. God doesn't say treat gays as second class citizens. He Said Love your brethren. Pay all your debts except the love of your brother. Rom 14:8-10.
Just cause their are american southerners that hate everyone including those of color doesn't mean the rest of america hate mongers like them. Yes, you should be able to visit your loved ones in the hospital and have estate rights upon the death of a partner. Why do you have to destroy marriage to do this? What happened to Civil Unions?
Nuge
-Out

[Mark]

I'm gay. Still, I do not want the government telling me or my business what I may or may not do; ordering me to do something and not permitting me to something else. The 'equality' guaranteed to us all apples to the are of government ONLY! Not to private enterprise. I saw the need for a certain type of business that catered to a primarily gay community. What did I do? I STARTED ONE! come ON GIRLS! Get your heads outta u know where and face it. Equality does NOT mean that we have to have the world cater to us! It means that we give a little, and they give a little. If were going to live in the world, we have to live in the world. Stop making the world pay for what mommy and daddy never gave you! I was at Stonewall and this E-Harmony thing is NOT what Stonewall was about! GROW UP!

[Individual Choice for EVERYONE]

I'm bi, but I know that I have no right to FORCE someone else to run their business according to my beliefs or preferences. Who said that because you are attracted to people of the same sex, that you have to be a bully who has no respect for private property? I don't see any logical connection between the two. ................. Gays and bisexuals have been bullied through history - -and now we want to turn around and coerce others? Is this some sick sort of revenge? GUYS, GROW UP AND LEARN TO MIND YOUR DAMN BUSINESS, the same way that we demand that people leave US alone to live as we choose. Let eHarmony do whatever they want. If you are offended by their policy, JOIN ANOTHER SITE or start your own. (May I recommend OutPersonals? Lots of hot guys on there ;) Get a life.

[Mark]

I'm gay. Still, I do not want the government telling me or my business what I may or may not do; ordering me to do something and not permitting me to something else. The 'equality' guaranteed to us all apples to the are of government ONLY! Not to private enterprise. I saw the need for a certain type of business that catered to a primarily gay community. What did I do? I STARTED ONE! come ON GIRLS! Get your heads outta u know where and face it. Equality does NOT mean that we have to have the world cater to us! It means that we give a little, and they give a little. If were going to live in the world, we have to live in the world. Stop making the world pay for what mommy and daddy never gave you! I was at Stonewall and this E-Harmony thing is NOT what Stonewall was about! GROW UP!