Best in show goes to a walking dust mop named Malachy
The famed Westminster dog show handed out its Best in Show trophy last night in New York, and the winner was a Pekingese named Malachy. And if they have any sense at all, the Swiffer people will sign the dog up for a promotional campaign as soon as possible.
I mean really. Can you imagine a better tool to sweep your floor than Malachy? Because looking at the picture, I'm really not sure that's a dog. It's either a dust mop or what happens when an Ewok and a rat have a baby.
Unfortunately for Malachy (and his owners), all he gets for this prestigious honor is a silver bowl. No cash. No Snausages. No squeaky toy. No fur-lined doghouse. No 10 minutes alone in a room with a cat. No bone. No picture of Lassie. No gold-plated fire hydrant. A silver bowl.
Malachy had no comment when asked about his victory, apparently the success already going to his (or her, I mean really, with all that fur, who can tell?) head.
The Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show was first held in 1877 and is the second-longest continuously held sporting event in the U.S., second only to the Kentucky Derby. Which brings up an idea for a great sport. You know the biathlon? That winter sport we only pay attention to at Olympics time? It combines cross-country skiing and shooting. What about combining horse racing and a dog show? Malachy can race against the Kentucky Derby winner, then they both compete in a beauty contest.
That has best reality-show ever written all over it.
-- Houston Mitchell
Top photo: Malachy. Credit: Michael Nagle / Getty Images. Bottom: A dust mop (no relation to Malachy). Credit: Swiffer.com