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Ted Green: Phoenix has permanent sun damage

May 18, 2010 | 10:26 am

Green_400 They're a Phoenix that rose, then got turned into ashes.

The last time a sun had this bad a day, I lived in Chicago.

Sunscreen, sunblock, pick your bad sun pun, they all apply.

They say the sun can't explode, but it looks like their confidence did.

If the Phoenix Suns came into the Western Conference finals with swagger, it's been replaced by stagger.

Or was that a dagger?

Adjustments? Sure, if they see a chiropractor. Steve Nash's back will appreciate the visit.

It's lucky Nash has only one good eye. The bad eye is grateful it didn't have to see that mess.

Lamar Odom versus Louie Amundson? I'll take Odom, even if Amundson throws in that nice downtown L.A. theatre he owns.

After watching that demolition derby, I'm changing my prediction. It was Lakers in five. It's now Lakers in three.

Seriously, the Suns are a small, feisty team, a fun team, a good team too, but there are more mismatches in this series than on any Internet dating site.

It's a good thing Jared Dudley was "gonna do some things" to disrupt Kobe, like "get under him," "flop" and "hit his finger," as Dudley brashly, foolishly promised on his Twitter account. So what "things" did Dudley do? He got whistled for two fouls in a space of like 10 seconds while the Mamba was dropping 40.

Can't wait for Dudley's next tweet. It should read: HELP!

It might be just one game, but the last time anyone delivered a message as definitive as this one, it was Paul Revere on a horse, telling the colonists that the British were coming.

The Suns can't match up with the Lakers' front line if you take Robin Lopez and add Brook Lopez, George Lopez and Jennifer Lopez.

Like everyone else, I'll watch the rest of the series because:

A) It's the NBA's final four

B) It's the Lake Show

C) It's intriguing to see if they can repeat, and

D) I get paid to do it.

But the writing's already on the wall in big, bold letters, some purple, some gold, some kelly green:


-- Ted Green

Green formerly covered the Lakers for the L.A. Times. He is now senior sports producer for KTLA News.

Photo: Kobe Bryant drives past Suns defenders Jason Richardson and Jared Dudley on Monday night. Credit: Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times.