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Chris "Rankman" Dufresne's top 25 college football teams

October 28, 2009 |  2:50 pm

Memo to AP, Harris and USA Today voters: excuse me? Florida escapes two weeks in a row with help from the officials and stays No.1? Alabama almost loses to a team UCLA (0-4 in the Pac-10) defeated and stays No.2. And Texas finally plays like No. 1 but stays at No. 3? You should all have your medical marijuana cards revoked.
Rankman loves the SEC as much as anyone (cough), but this blatant display of affection is tough to take (Did that come out the way you asked for it, Mack?”)
Thank goodness there is one poll man out there not afraid to make Cincinnati No.3 in exchange for a year’s supply of chili spaghetti.

Fabforum 1. Texas 7-0; Brown was Ok with Oklahoma State receiver being reinstated Nov.1. (Last week: 1)

2.  Florida 7-0; Four out of five SEC refs tell dentists they have sweet tooth for Gators. (2)

3. Cincinnati 7-0; By now you know the “C” in BCS really stands for Cincinnati. (3)

4. Boise State 7-0; Broncos had sinking feeling they might drop in BCS standings. (4)

5. Oregon 6-1; Halloween uniforms: Pumpkin helmets, green pants, black jerseys, white shoes. (5)

6. Alabama 8-0; Kicker will live in protective bubble until Tide is eliminated from title chase. (6)

7. Texas Christian 7-0; Not sure what team did to BYU in Provo was Texas Christian. (8)

8. USC 6-1; No victories since 2005 in: Alaska, Guam, North Dakota, Maine, Oregon. (7)

9. Iowa 8-0; Year-end season highlights will be shown on fun-house mirrors. (10)

10. Georgia Tech 7-1; Latest health care bill may include Paul Johnson’s “triple” option. (11)

11. Oklahoma State 6-1; NCAA reinstates Dez Bryant right into next year’s NFL draft. (13)

12. Louisiana State 6-1; Coach petitioning to have Pac-10 refs work Nov. 7 at Alabama. (14)

13. Houston 6-1; The good news: you only play UTEP once this season. (15)

14. Penn State 7-1; Theme song for last two years:  “If not for Iowa.”  (16)

15. Virginia Tech 5-2; No.13 in BCS but hoping to move up to something luckier. (17)

16. Miami 5-2; Special session called to find out how team got behind Duke in standings. (9)

17. South Carolina 6-2; Spurrier butters up SEC ref by telling him he used to coach Florida. (18)

18. Ohio State 6-2; Last blocking sled standing in way of Iowa’s Big Ten corn-i-nation (19)

19. Oklahoma 4-3; Not sure if Sooners can handle Big 12 North power…Kansas State? (21)

20. Utah 6-1; Boise hopes you got candy gram wishing luck at TCU on Nov. 14. (22)

21. West Virginia 6-1; Ouch: closes Big East against Pittsburgh, Cincinnati and Rutgers. (24)

22. Notre Dame 5-2; Coach Crockett tries to hold fort for Washington State in San Antonio. (25).

23. Mississippi 5-2; SEC/Pac-10 are redneck-and-neck in battle for best conference this year. (NR)

24. Arizona 5-2; Never appeared in Jan. 1 Rose Bowl but has always enjoyed parade on TV. (NR)

25. Pittsburgh 7-1; Rankman grants Panthers “permission to enter” poll request.  (NR)

 Dropped out:  Brigham Young, Oregon State, Texas Tech.
Moved in: Pittsburgh, Arizona, Mississippi.

Disagree with the rankings? Leave a comment.

-- Chris Dufresne

Photo: Colt McCoy leads No. 1 Texas. Credit: Tony Gutierrez, AP.