Ted Green: Lamar Odom’s marriage won’t distract Lakers

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As I was telling my good friend Lamar Odom the other day, a man is not complete until he’s married.

Then he’s finished. Lamar didn’t listen. Really, who does in matters of the heart? So now, instead of L.O., they’re L-Khloe.

Now, I’m as big a fan of love as the next guy. For example, I love the Lakers, the Dodgers, SC football, UCLA basketball, Coach Wooden and chicken burritos.

Hang on a moment -- my wife’s reading over my shoulder and wants to speak with me privately in the next room.

As I was saying, love is grand, but is being only the third-best Laker really a reason to marry only the third-hottest Kardashian?

Does ‘Keeping Up With the Odoms’ really have the same ring to it?

Yes, I did say ring.

Now given the history of Hollywood marriages and whirlwind romances, Lamar having met Khloe at a Ron Artest party Aug. 27 -- in other words, just a month ago to the day of the wedding -- Lamar and Khloe are probably even money to be divorced by the All-Star break.

I’m an optimist by nature, but would an annulment under their Christmas tree totally shock you?

If they do break up, I’m hoping for Lamar’s sake that she doesn’t go Britney on him and do it by text message.

One word here: prenup.

Still, Laker fans seem to be worried that Lamar’s marriage is going to destroy team chemistry.

I say, balderKardash.

If there are any fireworks at all, there’s more of a chance of Khloe and Vanessa Bryant rearranging the furniture in the wives’ lounge after another 30-point win over the Clippers. ‘Catfight I,’ coming to pay per view.

In fact, no joking here: Artest’s real-life reality show, the one he lives every day, combined with all the press Lamar and Khloe are getting, is exactly what the Lakers needed. The perfect way to turn the page.

Because for the first time since Shaq left town, all the focus, all the attention and all the pub won’t automatically flow toward Kobe.

Truth is, our city’s five-year Kobe Obsession, which finally culminated in an NBA crown, could use a nice vacation.

It’s quite the irony, in fact, that the face of the Laker franchise and lightning rod for attention has become the boring old married guy on the team. Or at least as boring as a man can be when he’s helicoptering in to Staples from the OC, with the personal net worth of a small Third World country.

As for Lamar, if he’s half as aggressive on the court as he apparently was courting Khloe, the Lakers are assured of a repeat.

Besides, there must be worse things in life than double-dating with Reggie Bush.-- Ted Green

Green formerly covered the Lakers and NBA for the L.A. Times. He is currently Senior Sports Producer for KTLA Prime News and happily married himself.