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Ted Green: Trying to explain LeBron’s confession

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I suppose we could act all surprised and maybe even feign a degree of moral outrage, but in a revelation that should astonish exactly no one, the King has confessed:

LeBron James admits that, yes, he did smoke pot during his junior year of high school.

No wonder he jumps so high.

In Akron, I guess practice let out at 4:20.

In a related story, Bill Clinton phoned to ask if LeBron inhaled.

Who was LeBron’s spiritual advisor, Michael Phelps?

I could go on, but my 10-minute stand-up is almost up.

Now, it was certainly sporting of the NBA’s reigning MVP to admit to an experience with Mary Jane, and I don’t mean the prom queen, especially if it sells a few more books.

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LeBron’s new book, ‘Shooting Stars,’ chronicles his rise from Ohio prep prodigy pursued relentlessly by the overeager press, to what he is today, an NBA superhero pursued relentlessly by the overeager press.

Some things never change, except, hopefully, LeBron’s toking habits.

The book is co-authored with the guy who also wrote ‘Friday Night Lights,’ a terrific book about football obsession in the state of Texas.

LeBron admits in the book to being a ‘bigheaded jerk’ back then who wasn’t humble at all.

Like the current ad campaign with the slogan ‘We Are All Witnesses’ is an ode to modesty.

Followed by an exploding cloud of chalk dust before tipoff. I could have said smoke cloud, but even I have my bad-pun limits, which I haven’t quite exhausted yet.

Maybe this explains how the Orlando Magic upset LeBron’s Cavaliers in the Eastern Conference playoffs. The Magic was lying in the weeds.

But joking aside, if the admission is an attempt to humanize LeBron, coming as it does after that embarrassing confiscation of an innocuous videotape of him getting dunked on by some college nobody, which became, like ‘Seinfeld,’ a show about nothing, it certainly works for me.

I like my superstars to be as human as possible, and is there anything more human than a wiseacre 17-year-old high school kid getting lit up with his friends?

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LeBron and Spicoli, best friends forever.

With the Lakers loaded up, adding Ron Artest (loaded ... I did it again) and now Shaq joining LeBron in Cleveland, this definitely has the makings of the most exciting NBA season yet.

I’d like to personally thank LeBron for stirring the pot.

And I’m sure the book will be a big hit.

-- Ted Green

Green formerly covered the NBA for the L.A. Times. He is currently the smoke-free senior sports producer for KTLA Prime News.

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