WWE Lakers win 5-on-5 battle at Staples

This article was originally on a blog post platform and may be missing photos, graphics or links. See About archive blog posts.

They received a Staples Center introduction by longtime Lakers public-address announcer Lawrence Tanner, and the participants in World Wrestling Entertainment’s special 5-on-5 match between the Denver Nuggets (The Miz, Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase, Big Show and Randy Orton) and the Lakers (John Cena, MVP, Batista, Jerry ‘the King’ Lawler and Mr. Kennedy) went at it after a predicted session of smack talk.

The Miz said Cena ‘is an overrated, phony poser, kind of like Kobe Bryant,’ and said he would exact punishment ‘more painful than Magic Johnson’s talk show.’

The mammoth Big Show wore No. 99 for the ‘Nuggets,’ and big-ego MVP wore Bryant’s No. 24.

The bout was preceded by a humorous tag-team match between Goldust and his small-person partner Hornswoggle against The Brian Kendrick and the mentally-deficient Festus, who was perhaps appropriately dressed in a Clippers jersey, that of Baron Davis. Kendrick-Festus lost of course.

Crowd chants of ‘Let’s go Lakers’ started the battle but the ‘nuggets’ surged to an early advantage as MVP was battered by all of the powder-blue visitors, twice kicking out of a two-count before tagging teammate Mr. Kennedy.

Kennedy sustained big blows by Orton and a vicious head butt by Big Show, as a real Nuggets fan cheered on and informed the Staples masses that their stars were losing early in the second half.

Kennedy finally got to tag Cena, who punished Rhodes before tagging MVP. MVP and Cena, flashing his classic ‘You can’t see me’ pose, then took a turn on Rhodes and MVP finished the job with the pin.

For good measure, Cena and Batista shrugged off a dual chokehold by Big Show by flipping him and starting a Lakers celebration -- no matter what was going on in Denver.

--Lance Pugmire