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Totally Random

December 30, 2008 |  7:30 pm

Setting a record that will never be broken, David Pratt, a striker for the English soccer club Chippenham Town, was red-carded three seconds into a match against Bashley last week.

How it that possible? The ball was kicked off, Pratt lunged at a Bashley player and the referee blew his whistle and raised a red card, citing Pratt for a dangerous tackle.

That is how a new world’s record is set.

"The world record is not a big deal for me,” Pratt told Sky News. “It’s not something that I'm proud of."

Previously, the English record for quickest red card was 13 seconds, set in 2000 by Sheffield Wednesday goalkeeper Kevin Pressman, for handling a shot outside of the box.

Trivia time

Before Pratt, what was the world record for the fastest ejection in a soccer match?

Take that!

Another soccer ejection that made headlines in England recently was the red card Stoke’s Ricardo Fuller received for hitting another player -- his own captain.

Stoke held a 1-0 lead over West Ham before West Ham’s Carlton Cole beat Stoke’s Andy Griffin for the equalizer. Incensed, Fuller approached Griffin and slapped him in the face. Fuller was sent off and Stoke, playing short-handed, eventually lost the match, 2-1.

Stoke Coach Tony Pulis said Griffin was playing with an injured knee, filling in at a position where the team lacked depth.

"We've got a good group of players who care about things,” Pulis told the BBC, "and Ricardo Fuller cared too much.”

He's kidding, right?

Former Chicago Cubs reliever Turk Wendell was asked by to fill in the blank for '''When the Cubs win the World Series, I'll ...'' and his answer was: ''Be 99 years old.''

Commented Elliott Harris of the Chicago Sun-Times: “Wendell is 41. And a joker. And, some might say (given the franchise's track record), also an optimist.”

Trivia answer

In a 1990 Italian League match, Bologna’s Giuseppe Lorenzo was dismissed after 10 seconds for hitting an opponent.

And finally

From Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel: “If you’re keeping score at home, I believe the Yankees have just signed  CC Sabathia,  Mark Teixeira,  LeBron James,  Adrian Peterson,  Tim Tebow, Dale Earnhardt Jr. and the  Jonas Brothers.”

-- Mike Penner