Totally Random

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As the losses have piled up for the Detroit Lions, fans have had to adjust their expectations.

Rather than offering discounts for a Lions victory, an oil-change business in nearby Jenison, Mich., is offering oil changes for $9 if the Lions hold a lead at any time during a game.

No discounts this week. The Lions never led in a 31-21 loss to the Indianapolis Colts, dropping Detroit’s record this season to 0-14.

Trivia time

Besides the Lions and the 1976 Tampa Bay Buccaneers, has any NFL team started a regular season 0-14?

Home-field advantage

What’s in a name? The University of Alabama is hoping opponents visiting Bryant-Denny Stadium find inspiration next season when they walk into the visitors’ locker room, newly named “The Fail Room.”

Actually, the locker room received its new designation when a rich alumnus named James M. Fail made a donation to the Crimson Tide Foundation.

Upon hearing the news, Detroit Lions officials bristled, complaining that they didn’t patent the name unofficially given to their team’s home locker room.

The inactive active list

No at-bats in 2008 and no contract offers notwithstanding, Barry Bonds insists he’s an active player.

“I’m not retiring. I’m not retiring,” Bonds told a cameraman for the website TMZ.com while waiting for his car outside a Los Angeles restaurant Saturday night.

While in a relatively loquacious mood, Bonds was asked about Manny Ramirez.

“I hope Manny stays,” Bonds said. “Manny’s great for L.A.”

Trivia answer

Yes. In 1980, the New Orleans Saints lost their first 14 games, then split their last two to finish 1-15.

And finally

From Steve Simmons of the Toronto Sun: ‘All Todd Bertuzzi wants for Christmas are his six front teeth.’

-- Mike Penner