Lisa Guerrero: Naughty or Nice?

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It’s crunch time for Santa Claus so, as you can imagine, he’s got his hands full right now. There are toys to wrap, reindeer to hitch up and a sleigh to pack.

Finally, there’s the list. He’s gotta check it twice -- that’s the rule. He also can make last-minute changes and switch someone from naughty to nice all the way up to the last minute ... midnight on Christmas Eve.

Crack reporter that I am, I discovered Santa’s list (no easy task!), and you may be surprised by what I’ve learned:

1. Santa’s a sports fan.

2. He sleeps in a Rosie Greer jersey. (Don’t ask me how I know this.)

3. He’s a distant relative of John Madden.

4. He prefers Mrs. Field’s chocolate chip cookies if you’re not baking them from scratch -- and, yes, he can tell.

5. After her husband leaves at midnight, Mrs. Claus dances around the living room, singing to Abba and drinking peppermintinis. The elves have this on video and plan to post it on YouTube come Thursday.

How do I know these things? An elf named Larry spilled the beans while sitting next to me on a plane home from Tijuana. (Hangover, maybe?) And he showed me part of ‘The List’...

Naughty: Manny Ramirez

For a guy who ‘loves’ playing in L.A., ‘loves’ the Dodgers and his teammates and ‘loves’ the fans here, why not show us some already and sign on the dotted line? If not, what to do with those Rasta hats? Someone tell Furcal to start growing it out now!

Nice: David Stern

NBA ratings have increased, the All-Star break led to charity work in New Orleans and the Christmas Day Lakers-Celtics matchup is the perfect pick-me-up for every pooped-out party elf.

Naughty: Max Mosley

The president of the FIA is probably looking to put 2008 behind him. A British tabloid posted the video of him in what they described as a ‘depraved Nazi-style orgy in a torture

dungeon.’ This is the first Christmas blog ever to string those words together.

Nice: Tom Coughlin

He dumped Jeremy Shockey, lost Osi Umenyiora and had to deal with the gun-totin’ Plaxico Burress but kept his team focused on the task at hand -- a Super Bowl repeat.

Naughty: Chris Berman

Earlier this year, some disgruntled former co-workers at ESPN leaked videos of Boomer having a Bill O’Reilly-esque meltdown on the set. Plus, the combover ... why, Chris?

Nice: Dwayne Wade

The NBA star bought his mom, Jolinda, her own church (!) to celebrate her seventh year of sobriety and the remarkable transformation of her life. And you bought your mom a pair of slippers.

Nice: Jerry Jones

He helps to raise millions of dollars every year for the Salvation Army. He personally donated items for my golf tournament to benefit the Salvation Army’s Free Medical/Dental Clinic of Oxnard. Sometimes, though, nice guys do finish last... or at least out of the playoff hunt.

Naughty: The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Nice: The Real Housewives of Orange County

Only by comparison.

Naughty: Sean Avery

After calling his exes an, um, derogatory term, he got dumped by his team and is undergoing anger management. Nothing like getting your hot, blond ex-girlfriend’s back like collecting an unemployment check.

Nice: The musical stylings of Nancy B. Hefley.

Naughty: Pacman Jones

NFL stars + guns + strip joints - common sense = lump of coal (Santa Math 101).

Nice: Texas Rangers

Their charitable foundation dispersed $800,000 in 2008, including 17 college scholarships, and helped bring comfort to displaced victims of Hurricane Ike at the Dallas Convention Center by distributing food and survival items.

Naughty: The Jonas Brothers and whoever hired them

Those young’uns committed halftime homicide in Dallas on, appropriately, turkey day. Dear Santa, please give all football fans a gift that we’ll appreciate -- no boy bands or Lions on Thanksgiving. Thanks, humanity.

Nice: President-elect Barack Obama

We all hope you’re serious about fixing the real problem facing America today -- the BCS system. Please.

Naughty: Michael Phelps

The Dolphin God has been everywhere -- ‘Saturday Night Live,’ magazine covers, plugging language videos on cable -- I get it ... he’s the best Olympian of All Time. But even his mom got an endorsement deal for Chico’s! And you thought that tiny Speedo made him overexposed.

Nice: Dara Torres

By winning three silver medals this summer, the 41-year-old gave the rest of us 40-something-year-old women something to cheer about ... and a reason to admit our age (44, by the way).

Naughty: Alex Rodriguez

MLB stars + pop stars + egos + paparazzi = divorce - $$$ (Santa math, graduate level).

Nice: You

For taking the time to read my blogs and commenting here or at lisaguerrero.net. I appreciate having a voice here at latimes.com/sports and whether or not you agree with me, I celebrate your enthusiasm and passion for sports. Thanks and happy holidays!

Please share some Naughty/Nice sports suggestions of your own.

-- Lisa Guerrero

Lisa Guerrero has covered Super Bowls, the NBA Finals and the World Series, along with the Oscars, Emmys and Grammys. As an actress, she has appeared on ‘Frasier’ and ‘The George Lopez Show’ and as Billy Baldwin’s long-suffering wife in the film ‘A Plumm Summer,’ which she executive-produced.

Photo (top): Dodgers fan Nash Gomez of Oxnard does his best imitation of dreadlocked slugger Manny Ramirez. Credit: Luis Sinco / Los Angeles Times

Photo (inset): Lisa Guerrero