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Last call: Least-heard sports phrases, and Paul Anka

December 11, 2008 | 10:00 pm

After exhaustive research, we are pleased to present you with the least-heard sports phrases in L.A. sports. You are encouraged to submit phrases you think we missed in the comment field below, or by e-mailing houston.mitchell@latimes.com. The list:

"Has anyone seen Magic? He's so reclusive."

"John Wooden cursed me out at the store the other day."

"Dad, can we go to a Clippers game this weekend?"

"Is that Marty McSorley's jersey on the Staples Center wall?"

"I'd watch the Dodgers more often, but I can't stand listening to Vin Scully."

"Kobe would be the perfect player if he'd learn to shoot more."

"I don't like their teams much, but those USC fans sure are classy." (UCLA fans only)

"Look at Garret Anderson hustle after that ball."

"The Lakers really seem to miss Kwame Brown."

"$90 for a spring training game ticket? I'll take two."

"What channel is the Galaxy game on?"

"They won't run on Juan Pierre. He has a cannon for an arm."

"Who's that nice elderly lady with Jerry Buss?"

"Two Dodger Dogs and a coke? That will be $5."

"Are those guys Bruins fans? Let's go say Hi!" (USC fans only)

"I wish Phil Jackson would calm down on the sideline."

"Here comes Michelle Kwan, and she's wearing her Olympic gold medal."

And in conclusion, music legend Paul Anka with his take on Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit."

-- Houston Mitchell

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