But seriously, folks: The comic stylings of Ozzie Guillen

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LAS VEGAS -- Ozzie Guillen doesn’t so much give an interview as he does a standup routine. You can never be sure what the White Sox’s Venezuelan-born manager will say next -- but you know it will probably be funny.

He kept a group of reporters in stitches again Tuesday.

Asked what he thought of Alex Rodriguez’s abandoning the U.S. team for the Dominican Republic in next spring’s World Baseball Classic, Guillen said, ‘I think the Dominican team is going to be better. If it’s fair or not, that’s a Major League Baseball thing. I hope he plays for Venezuela next time because Venezuela will be better with him.’

Told that the roster his team is building appears to better fit his personality, Guillen agreed. ‘Well, when they blame me, I want to take the blame for the right reason.’ Which isn’t to say he has input when it comes to trades. ‘In the trade department, I don’t get involved,’ he said. ‘I don’t know anything about budgets. I don’t know anything. Just give me talent and I’ll manage the talent. [General Manager Ken Williams] asks me what I need and what I like to do, and since I’m the manager of the ballclub, we do it.’

Guillen, who lives in South Florida during the off-season, said he has already receiving a scouting report on Cuban defector Dayan Viciedo, who signed with the White Sox last month. Not that he believes any of it.

‘I don’t want this kid, and I don’t know why Kenny signed this kid,’ Guillen said jokingly. (We think.) ‘I live in Miami, and in Miami there’s not any bad Cuban players. Everybody from Cuba, they are good players. It’s kind of funny because everybody from Cuba, they go ‘He’s a great player.’ ‘

Then as an encore, Guillen took on the way managers have traditionally shuffled utility players between the infield and outfield.

‘I don’t like when people say ‘He’s a good outfielder and he’s a good infielder.’ When you’re a good infielder, you stay in the infield. And when you’re a good outfielder, you stay in the outfield. I hate that ‘he plays center field, but he’s a good second baseman.’ Or ‘he’s a good second baseman, but he’s a good center fielder.’ You’re going to trick somebody else out, but you’re not going to trick me. If you’re a good second baseman, why are they moving you?’

-- Kevin Baxter