Totally Random

First came the curse of the Billy Goat, then the curse of the black cat, then Steve Bartman. Newest entry into the Chicago Cubs’ Hall of Hexes is the tattoo that Cubs fan Jimmy Burroughs received in a Tennessee tattoo parlor in July.

According to the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, the Cubs’ postseason demise was "preordained" when a mischievous tattoo artist added the words "Go Cards" to an etching of a Cubs logo on Burroughs' right shoulder blade. "I pretty much blame the tattoo for the Cubs losing," said Burroughs, 26, a child therapist from Bloomington, Ind. “It kills me to have a tattoo that says 'Go Cards.' "

The artist, Derek Rivers, told the Post-Dispatch that he is not a St. Louis Cardinals fan but added the words in red inside an outline of the Cubs' "C" as a joke. Burroughs and Rivers laughed, then Burroughs told Rivers to "color it in now." Rivers did, but the fill-in mysteriously faded and "Go Cards" re-emerged.

Rivers refunded Burroughs his $190 but Burroughs did not elect to have the tattoo fixed elsewhere. And we know what then happened to the Cubs: Swept out of the first round of the playoffs by the Dodgers.

Trivia time

Who is the only Clipper to lead the NBA in rebounding for a season?

Pushy journalists?

A charity soccer match between members of Scottish Parliament and sports journalists last weekend had to be abandoned 10 minutes into the second half when a fight erupted.

The game was called off with the politicians leading, 6-2, after heated play resulted in players from both sides squaring up and pushing each other in the chest.

In the first half, television soccer commentator Chick Young had to be carried off the field after being on the receiving end of a hard tackle.

"This wasn’t any joke on Sunday, these people were an absolute disgrace," Young told Radio Scotland’s Sportsound. "The attitude toward the referee, the language that was used by the politicians on the occasion, was totally out of order.

"I honestly thought my ankle was broken. It’s not, but it’s pretty bad, and I had to abandon a day’s charity golf ... which broke my heart as well."

Not the first time charity and politics failed to mix.

Rocking the vote

A demonstration of political football in Houston last weekend was canceled, for better or worse, when the Cincinnati Bengals managed only two field goals in a 35-6 loss to the Houston Texans. Chad Johnson was planning to unfurl a Barack Obama banner if he scored a touchdown against the Texans.

"It was talked about," Bengals wide receiver T.J. Houshmandzadeh told Dan Patrick last week. "We talked about it. I don’t know if he was able to get the banners. ... I think that’s what he wanted to do."

With the surprise element scuttled, will Johnson dare to try again today when the Bengals host the Jacksonville Jaguars? The 0-8 Bengals face the same dilemma as they did last Sunday in Houston: Can they score a touchdown?

20-year yechhh

The Orlando Magic almost celebrated its 1988-89 expansion season to the hilt on Wednesday.

Almost.

"The Magic lost their season opener, 99-85, to the Atlanta Hawks and looked horrible doing it," wrote Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel.

"This was like the husband coming home early from work with flowers and candy for a 20th wedding-anniversary celebration and finding his wife making out with the pool guy. It tends to ruin the moment."

Trivia answer

Michael Cage, who averaged 13 rebounds during the 1987-88 season.

Cowboy talk

As the Dallas Cowboys prepare to play the New York Giants today with Brad Johnson and Brooks Bollinger as their quarterbacks, Richard Oliver of the San Antonio Express-News is already looking ahead to the Cowboys' upcoming bye week. Oliver writes, "Let’s hope Romo can be rebuilt in a week."

-- Mike Penner

Photo: No doubt Cubs fans will mope again when they hear the tattoo story. In this shot, fans show their dismay during Game 1 of the NLDS against the Dodgers. The Dodgers went on to sweep the series. Credit: Nancy Stone / Chicago Tribune