Last call: The secret plan to re-sign Manny Ramirez

I believe the way the Dodgers plan to re-sign Manny Ramirez was revealed in an e-mail that landed in my inbox today:

Dear Dodger fan:

I humbly ask your support in an urgent business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.

I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of Dodgertown. My land has a crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds in excess of 100 million dollars US over the next 6 of your years. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.

I am working with Mr. Man E. Ramirez, who represents the left field, and Ned Kuhletti, who handles finances. As a Dodger fan, you may know Kuhletti as the handler of the famous Jay-sun Shmidt and Ann Drew Jonez cases. So, as you can see, this transaction is 100% safe.

This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check from all Dodger fans as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in my name because I am constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.

Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to parkinglotattendant@dodgerz.org so that we may transfer your moneys for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds. And, also, you can get all you can eat at our next meeting in April.

Yours Faithfully

Minister of Treasury Frank McCourt

-- Houston Mitchell

Photo: Will you help support Manny Ramirez? Credit: Jed Jacobsohn / Getty Images

Comments

[ferenc]

ah,ah,ah let him go. he needs a brain transplant.

[native angeleno]

The McCourts have to begin to Think Big, if they haven't Got It already:

Manny is a cash cow, not a potential liability. He Brings In More Than He Costs. Think in terms of revenue in the hundreds of millions. As in the Yankee$ of the West Coast. it's all about Marketing. The McCourts will turn a profit on him. Not merely from the extra revenue at the gate, at the concession stands, at the parking lot and on the tube (local ratings) he obviously brings in; but at the extended seasons deep into Octobers ahead; at the energized fan base that had been subtly transferring expectations of winning to the consistent winners in Anaheim; at the legions of future fans who will have grown up realizing the Dodgers = Winners, once again. Because of Manny.

Ultimately Frank McCourt has to look in the mirror and never see the guy from Boston who let the Babe Ruth of his day leave his team over a few measly bucks, the deja vu nightmare that would follow him to his grave, that he did not give it his all, which can and must be avoided.

[The Nieve Dodger Fan.]

We cant miss it this time………

I have been a dodger fan for 30yrs season ticket holder 13 of those until News Corps Take over and destruction of the team. But regardless of who owns the team I have seen the same mistakes over and over. We seem to never be buyers when the market is right we are always 1 year off. IE. A-Rod (prior to the Yankees move), Vladdy, Miggy Cabrera, Santana, ect. on and on. We always are in a spot where the money is available next year. This year there will be around 65mil available followed by another 35+ next year, this is over 100mil available over the next 2 seasons, we spend the money when its already to late and it forces up to over paying for Brown’s, Sheffields,Greens. Is Manny going to be worth 25mil in 2 years probably not. But I agree with the above person, he will bring in revenue to the team which may not go straight to the owners pocket  but will cover at least some of his salary ticket sales went up 40%the day he was traded for and with what Im sure will be a hefty raise in ticket prices (winning cost  even if it’s the mighty western division)this should help out as well. We have not had a true bat in the line up in over 10 years. No big threat. Loney is no more than a line drive Sean Casey type of player good but not a dangerous presence. Kemp has something called patience to work on and it doesn’t always come. 200 + k’s ????? Im guessing there were a few players on base when these took place. I would sign Manny or at least offer 3 at $75M this would be a legit offer, 2 years is safer but he wont sniff at it. We signed Pierre after a mediocre year for 4 years. Jones a down year and we gave him 2 years Shcmidt a 4 year on a down year with injurys, Furcal a 5 year with a decent year behind him. Manny can hit, Manny will hit. If you have to go 4 years with a Nolan Ryan clause, he wears a dodger cap in the Hall of Fame then do it. If he says no, then this shows the last 2 months hear was a façade and if I were other teams I would beware maybe this whole clean slate I’m a new man is just a Boras advertisement.
My plan, Just as we found a way to get Blake Maddux and Manny free, give someone a freebie with Jones and Pierre these 2 are going to be bad clubhouse guys by June. Trade Kemp with either Kershaw(he’s a Tommy John waiting to happen) or Macdonald to SD for Peavy, Resign Furcal or trade for Kelly Johnson. Resign Blake if no Johnson and Dewitt to 2nd base, We need blake, he can spell Loney and Martin will need to play 3rd a lot more this year. Let Saito go.
But reality says, No Manny, No Peavy,No Lowe, Over pay Furcal. Platoon Jones and Pierre and pick up some middle of the road starter and sell us all on the future, It’s the same story, we putting are trust in a Schmidt starter and a bunch of # 7 hitters. Good Luck.. Have fun in NY (mets that is Manny).