Kobe Bryant likes the UC Irvine Anteaters! Huh?

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Kobe Bryant can opt out of his contract! The sky is falling, Lakers fans.

Kobe will go to play in Greece for enough to keep knee-deep in feta for life! Wait, no, Kobe will sign with the Clippers to fulfill his lifelong dream of being injured in the first year of a multimillion-dollar contract.

Even better, Kobe will sign with Orlando, just as soon as Shaquille O’Neal and Grant Hill complete the purchase of the Magic, because of his deep, personal friendship with Shaq.

But one thing no one has considered is Kobe leaving the game to take a full-time job promoting UC Irvine basketball. You read that right ... UC Irvine.

He seems to already be testing those waters by doing the intro to the Anteaters’ video that was shown at their Midnight Madness practice. Now if UC Irvine can only come up with about $136-million over six years....

-- Chris Foster