Flo Rida will rap about sweat pants forever

Flo Rida's "Low" is the only song allowed on the radio. You may think you heard a wisp of Chris Brown or the new Usher, but you were wrong -- it was actually just a station identifer filling space between spins of Flo Rida. KXLU is now devoted entirely to streaming indie rock Flo Rida covers on the Internet, and Larry Mantle is using a vocoder to sound like T-Pain so listeners will think his show is actually a soothing, long-form version of "Low."

Not only is "Low" the only song allowed on the radio, but it is now also the biggest selling digital download in history, as more than 3.2 million people who, not owning radios, decided they too needed "Low" available at a moment's notice. Flo Rida's album "Mail on Sunday" hits stores next week, with collaborators will.i.am, Lil Wayne and many other people whose songs have disappeared from the radio to make room for more spins of "Low."

The Timbaland-helmed followup single "Elevator" is a pretty hokey grab at reminding top-40 fans that a year ago, the phrase "Ella, ella" was popular parlance. But as a recovering Floridian myself, I do kinda want that belt buckle.

-- August Brown

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