We are writers, and we're always looking to expand our vocabulary. Here are some words that were not on our SAT but very well should have been.
1. Hippopotamus ("Jersey Shore"). As if it wasn't bad enough to be referred to as a grenade, here comes her "big" sister, the hippo. Of course, The Situation came up with this term of endearment for an overweight woman, and watching him get rid of his hippo proved he's a cheating mastermind. (You can watch all the action here).
2. Tanorexia ("The A List"). A debilitating condition of never ever feeling tan enough. Because we come from warm beach states, we completely sympathize with the afflicted.
3. DTF ("Jersey Shore"). We can't spell it out because it includes a curse word, but it refers to people being down for a hook-up. It's economical and serves a purpose.
4. Boughetto ("Real Housewives of Atlanta"). The combination of being bougie and ghetto. What falls into this category? Rhinestones on the eyelashes, roses in the hair. Look for yourself.
5. Prostitution whore ("Real Housewives of New Jersey"). It may sound redundant, but sometimes extra emphasis is needed to make a point, especially if you're Teresa Guidice.
6. T-shirt Tiiiiime! ("Jersey Shore") This signals the men are ready to go out. They change into fresh shirts and they're off. Pauly D started this craze, and we like it so much that it makes us fist-pump. (It even has a theme song).
7. Vagenius ("The A List") Used when something amazing happens or something is great. Whoever coined it was vagenius indeed.
8. Throw shade ("RuPaul's Drag Race") To talk trash about someone in public. RuPaul turned this into one of the most hilarious competitions on his show. We laughed as we learned a new art form.
9. Hallaloo! ("RuPaul's Drag Race") You know, hallelujah but cooler.
10. Mantrum ("The A List") A man tantrum. We saved this for last because we don't like whiny men but we like new words.
Wednesday night, we spent a little time with the rich and gaymous, which is to say we watched the first episode of Logo's new reality series "The A-List: New York."
You may know this show by its nickname, "Gay Housewives." It was once titled "Kept," which we really liked.
Produced by True Entertainment ("The Real Housewives of Atlanta"), the series follows "boys who brunch" in New York City. But these are no ordinary brunching boys. They're members of Manhattan's gay elite, and the show follows their exploits from "boardroom to benefit to beach house to bedroom." (Those are quotes from a charming Logo news release.)
And did we say they're all gorgeous? Do not make the mistake of ordering Mexican takeout before you watch the first episode. Trust us. Along with beauty, there's plenty of bitchiness, of course.
The blogosphere has been reacting strongly to the trailer you can watch above, which Logo released this week. Perez Hilton was beside himself. Others woo-hooed.
We think "The A List" could become an addiction.
Because we don't want to ruin the fun, we won't spoil the first episode. But we'd like to introduce the men by way of things they told us about themselves in the pilot:
Bragging rights: "My claim to fame is that I won 'The Amazing Race" and I was in a very public relationship with Lance Bass. And then through being seen together, he was kind of forced out of the closet and it still follows me around. But I don't like that to represent me."
Hot button: "I am afraid that people are going to laugh at my dancing." (He starred in "My Big Italian Gay Wedding" off Broadway).
Bragging rights: "My claim to fame is that I transform celebrities. What I do is I take them out of context and style-wise just change them and present them in a way that's jarring to the general public. I would have to say that I'm probably one of the most in-demand celebrity photographers in the world."
Hot button: "Vanity is subjective. I have a healthier relationship with my appearance. I'm not 21 anymore, so I like to take care of myself. I need to stay on top of things. Otherwise things start falling apart really fast. I like to take care of myself and look attractive for my partner and attractive for, you know, everyone. Yes, yes, I'm vain. I'm guilty."
Bragging rights: "I own one of the top downtown salons. On any given day, you can come into my salon and run into Pamela Anderson, Isaac Mizrahi and Rachael Ray."
Hot button: "Desmond is my Mr. Big. Not that I'm really Carrie Bradshaw, but he's definitely my Mr. Big."
Bragging rights: "My biggest claim to fame would have to be the time I spent with famed designer Marc Jacobs. Our friendship led to a relationship. And then Marc swooped me away into his world that is all luxury and glamour. And I loved it. I just didn't know how to handle it."
Hot button: "Every time my name is mentioned, I want Marc's name to be nonexistent."
Derek Lloyd Saathoff
Bragging rights: "I never have to wait behind a velvet rope. My name is on every VIP list in the city. I'm friends with Lindsay Lohan. She stays at my apartment when she's in New York. Seann William Scott is a close friend of mine. I'm photographed and written about in blogs, in magazines. If you're reading about me on Monday morning, it was a fierce weekend."
Hot button: "I'm obsessed with spray tanning. If I look in the mirror and I see a pale face, I instantly shriek. I'm like 'AHH, I have to spray tan.' It's instant. No one sees me without it. It's almost like putting on your face. Girls wake up and put on makeup. I wake up and put on a spray tan."
Rodiney Santiago (Reichen's boyfriend)
Bragging rights as told by Reichen: "Rodiney is a model. He's done really well in Brazil, in Miami, and L.A. And now he wants to establish himself as a model in New York. And that's really hard to do."
Hot button: "Reichen is working all day, and I feel kind of alone, by myself here. And I have to figure out everything by myself. ... Do you think I'm going to find some agents here? Do you think it's going to be easy?"
No, it's not. But neither is all the working out we're going to have to do while this show is on the air. Incidentally, it premieres Oct. 4.
Special request for Logo: Can T.J. (Ryan's best friend) be added as a lead? We love it when he says "delicious."