'Dancing With the Stars' results recap: No laughing matter

It was a sad day in the Glitterverse, ballroom fans. One last couple had to be exiled to the outskirts of Fringe City, where lives are drab with nary a sequin or a sparkle, before next week’s “Dancing With the Stars” finale. Who would want to live in this world? Not any of the remaining four contestants, that’s for sure. We all knew this finals cut would be the deepest. All four of the remaining couples were so good that just three measly judges’ points separated first from last place. Plus, they all seem like nice, upstanding Glitterverse citizens. How could one of these stars possibly be let go from the Mirrorball orbit in “our most dramatic semifinal ever?”

“No matter which way this goes,” predicted host Tom Bergeron, “it’s going to suck.”

'Smash' finale recap: Let Megan Hilty be your star

Just before the last episode of the first season of “Smash” aired, show runner Theresa Rebeck announced that she would not be returning for Season 2. Instead, Josh Safran, a "Gossip Girl” producer, is coming in to, in the words of Tom (nee Christian Borle), “reboot” the entire show.

Though this type of personnel change isn’t unheard of, it is rare for a major show to lose its captain this way, and one can only guess that Rebeck, a creature of the theater, decided that some of the magic that she was hoping to translate onto the screen was irretrievably lost and that she was better equipped to work on a smaller scale with the strong stuff, rather than the diluted version writ large. Or perhaps she just realized that the show, as it stands now, is massively flawed and that the energy it would take to right the ship wasn’t something she was willing to waste on Katharine McPhee’s mealy-mouthed line readings anymore. Or perhaps she was asked to gracefully exit to make room for a helmer who understands how to take the show’s potential and deliver something worthy.

Because this show does have potential! When I watched the pilot back in January (doesn’t it feel like years ago?), I knew that this was a show that would live or die on the score. Marc Shaiman and Scott Wittman came out of the gate blazing, with numbers like “Let Me Be Your Star” and “The National Pasttime” that have held up throughout a season of listening to them -- at least as well as any Broadway soundtrack holds up. And with the exception of a miscalculated Ryan Tedder number and that bizarre turn to Bollywood, the show’s best element has always been its original music.

Take the closing number from Monday night, “Don’t Forget Me,” a final energetic ballad that led into a “Let Me Be Your Star” reprise. Even though I was furious that it was McPhee singing it and not Megan Hilty -- but more on that in a bit -- the song moved me, and I thought it was a fitting way to end a musical about the life of Marilyn Monroe. She pleads for the audience to remember her good qualities, how hard she strived, and not how hard she suffered. She wants to be a legend. A tall order, but as Marilyn is the textbook definition of legend in our culture, it doesn’t feel stretched, and even the fade-in of a large projection of her face comes at just the right moment. It’s sappy and overstated, sure, but so is much of the best work on Broadway, and I know I would have applauded like mad for that finale had I been in the audience.

So what we’re left with at the end of the first season -- and they haven’t even made it to Broadway yet, oy -- is that the show within a show works on some basic level. The thing that doesn’t work is the outer shell, the NBC show, and I think Rebeck saw the writing on the wall about that. But because NBC is pressing toward Broadway with this thing, they will have to figure out a way to make it better. And I think we all know that means not just handing over the reins to Karen.

Here’s the thing: I see what they’re doing here. Karen is the more moldable, malleable, Norma-Jeanable option for the role; she is the pre-Marilyn Marilyn, prone to fits of shyness and doubt and occasional reveries of intense talent. But she’s also boring and stiff, and those are two things that Norma Jean never was.

I understand why Derek is seeing her strange ghost wander around the halls like a specter from his own personal version of “Scrooge.” His vision of Marilyn is that of an innocent, a child, a ball of beautiful clay that men shape. And while it's problematic that the director of “Bombshell” has a misogynistic skew on the whole story, it does fit right into Derek’s persona. He likes his women to be little girls, delicate flowers, requiring his attention. It’s worth noting that when he was the sweetest to Ivy, she was at her lowest point, abusing drugs and getting kicked off stages. He wants to be the big daddy in the room, and Karen is a canvas on which he can paint that fantasy, down to her backstage melt-down. He has to coax the performance out of her as if she’s a baby bird, rubbing her curves and telling her that she’s a star, that he loves her. There were many men that treated Marilyn this way, and it possibly killed her. Which is to say, Derek has chosen Karen for now, so that he can treat her and mold her however he likes. I’m just not sure that it won’t kill her in Season 2. Just wait until she sleeps with him and he loses interest (and he will).

It wouldn’t be such a problem that Derek went with Karen as the big choice if the show didn’t have such a captivating starlet in Hilty. McPhee did a serviceable job on that last number, but I kept thinking that Ivy would have brought something else to the song entirely. Karen’s “Don’t Forget Me” felt like a pleading, a wish. I bet Ivy’s would have felt like a command. The show is so miscast, in that Hilty is clearly a Broadway performer with the chops for that kind of theater, and McPhee is more of a pop star who somehow keeps beating out the Broadway performer -- it doesn’t make logical sense. We are all supposed to suspend our logic and go with the idea that Karen’s the raw talent who is secretly a genius, but I don’t know why they keep pushing that narrative when clearly it isn’t true.

Hilty is the real genius in the Marilyn role -- even Anjelica Huston knows that, even if she couldn’t sway Derek -- and if I were here, I would be contemplating the fistful of pills as well. The show wants us to care about Karen and to despise Ivy, who sleeps with other people’s boyfriends and tries to sabotage everything. But the best person in real life is not always the best person for the job, especially when it comes to show business. I hope that next season they let Ivy redeem herself and take her place. Bernadette Peters needs something else to do besides look devastated.

Borle told the L.A. Times that next season will focus more on the nuts and bolts aspects of putting on a Broadway show, and less on the soapy drama, to which I say (like Sam) hallelujah! My favorite little bits of this episode were Julia and Tom trying to hammer out orchestrations and the stage manager trying to keep everyone happy during a crash run-through. I’d gladly take more of the technical behind-the-scenes sausage, which the pilot was so good at portraying with auditions rather than plot lines involving Dev or Michael Swift. I can’t even get up the energy to worry about the fate of Karen and Dev. She’s a star now, so I’m assuming that relationship is going to fizzle under her spotlight. As for Michael Swift, he may have impregnated Jules, but that doesn’t make him less creepy or predatory. All he has done is thwart their Chinese baby plans.

The only side character who remains compelling at the end is Ellis, who threatens to enact revenge on “Bombshell” while wearing a red devil suit. His little speech to Eileen about doing what needed to be done (a.k.a. nearly murdering a movie star) and how near-murderers never get coffee for anyone was preposterous, and he deserved to be fired. But part of me thinks that in 15 years, Ellis is going to be one of Broadway’s most successful producers. He is not afraid to get his hands dirty with peanut shavings or possibly blood, and showbiz tends to reward insane ruthlessness. I hope the second season explores this dark patch instead of just making him the villain. Ambition does have its place on Broadway, and I’m interested to see where Ellis lands once he learns to harness his.

And that’s all she wrote, folks. See you next year, when we hit the Broadway stage. Will Karen even do a hip thrust that doesn’t make her look like a fembot? Will Ivy channel Marilyn even more than she already does with an overdose? Will Nick Jonas give back the Degas? Will Ellis burn down a theater while he stands there cackling? Will Anjelica Huston ever sing again? And how long can Julia hide her belly beneath her flowy Eileen Fisher garb? All will be revealed soon. Until then, don’t forget Marilyn, or she will haunt you.

 The Songs!

“Mr and Mrs Smith” 2 out of 5 Jazz Hands. Karen has about as much chemistry with Michael Swift as Julia has with her own husband. Not a great start to her star turn.

“Howl” 3 out of 5 Jazz Hands. I really love this song and the jingoistic USO choreography, but I don’t love Karen in it. Ivy standing backstage imagining her own rendition (P.S. “Smash,” please stop with all the flashbacks in Season 2 -- it’s like shaking your own hand) doesn’t help Karen any, as she was so clearly better, effortless and charming at it. Karen gets through the number, but I am not seeing this extra spark that Derek tells Ivy about. She looks mechanical and scared.

“Don’t Forget Me” 4.5 out of 5 Jazz Hands. And then she brings it home, and it’s magical. This is one of Tom and Julia’s best songs yet. Maybe they should always cram in a new ending on the day of the show to keep things fresh. I wasn’t feeling Karen’s tragic sexuality in her suicide scene, but her begging not to be forgotten in this number made me forget how much better Ivy would have been and just focus on McPhee in the role. Because we are stuck with Karen as Marilyn going into Season 2 -- at least for a little while -- any number that makes her more likable is a good thing.

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Photo: Megan Hilty and Jaime Cepero. Credit: Will Hart /NBC

Late Night: Craig Ferguson launches weeklong trip to Scotland

 

This week, Craig Ferguson is taking "The Late, Late Show" to a place it's never been before: Scotland.

On Monday night the host, accompanied by a handful of celebrity pals including Mila Kunis, Rashida Jones, Michael Clarke Duncan and David Sedaris, kicked off a series of shows taped in his homeland. The episode was a walk down memory lane for Ferguson: It was taped in part at Glasgow's Tron Theatre, where he performed in his early stand-up days, and also featured a visit (posted above) to a pub where Ferguson once got into a nasty barroom brawl. (He lost.)

But the highlight -- or lowlight, depending on your tolerance for these kinds of things -- of Ferguson's first night in Scotland was a conversation about, of all things, amputees and colostomy bags over tea and crumpets at Glamis Castle, the setting of Shakespeare's tragedy "Macbeth." Seems fitting, doesn't it?

(To watch the episode in full, you can click here.)

 

 

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'America's Got Talent' recap: Howard Stern makes his debut

"America, are you ready for the revolution?" "America's Got Talent" host Nick Cannon asked, standing on what appeared to be a rocky mountaintop, as the NBC talent show kicked off its seventh season Monday night.

"The show is about to go to a level it has never gone before," Howie Mandel said in the montage that followed, which included a clip of someone taking a hammer to a concrete block on someone else's crotch. 

Oh, "America's Got Talent," you wonder of hyperbole and cheese, you master evoker of the cringe, welcome back!

The "revolution" to which Cannon was referring was presumably the show's extremely well paid, highly controversial (before he even had a chance to do anything) new judge, Howard Stern.

Of course, the self-dubbed King of All Media is no stranger himself to cheesy hyperbole and making America cringe. But it's safe to say a lot of people – fans of "America's Got Talent," fans of Stern, the parenting group that's called for an ad boycott – didn't see how the boundary-pushing radio personality would be suitable for a family-friendly talent show: Would he, metaphorically speaking, take a hammer to "America's Got Talent's" delicate parts, they may have wondered?

I'm guessing the new judge's doubters weren't those people in the audience at the Los Angeles auditions chanting "How-ward, How-ward, How-ward" in the show's season premiere.

I don't remember anyone ever doing that for Piers Morgan.

But then, after only one night with Stern at the judging table, the memories of Morgan as a judge have already grown hazy and faint: pursed lips, nasty quips about Cannon's attire, a quick trigger finger on the buzzer, a toxic relationship with the other judges …

As an "America's Got Talent" judge, Stern, it may not startle you to learn, is nothing like Morgan. It seems we can look forward to him being, at turns, self-effacing and self-promoting, sincere and sassy, surprisingly in command and sometimes downright sentimental. Stern proved himself neither afraid to buzz (he confessed he liked the feeling of power) nor to encourage nor even to climb up onstage and bestow a warm hug to a weepy wannabe. He introduced himself as a man who knows how to assess talent and also what it's like to be told you can't do something and yet persevere. A stern judge and a sympathetic advocate all rolled into one.

Yes, he was funny and a bit bawdy: "Why did Piers Morgan give up this job?" he wondered as a comely female contestant positioned herself onstage. He repeatedly referenced his own "virginity" as a judge. And he commented that "stripper magician" Aoni Jackson's "man boobs" and diminutive package size might not help him realize his dreams. But come on, the guy was a "stripper magician"! For the most part, the shock jock was kind, almost fatherly, and far less shocking than some of the auditioning acts themselves.

But the best part is that all three judges – Stern and returning judges Mandel and Sharon Osborne -- seem to get along famously and to revel in their rapport. When Stern gently teased Mandel about his germ phobia or took a winking poke at Osborne when he advised an attractive, not terribly talented contestant to do as Osborne had and marry a wealthy man (cut to: Ozzy), it had none of Morgan's mean-spiritedness. And when the trio was briefly stuck in an elevator and Stern grew visibly uncomfortable, he gentlemanly ushered Osborne and Mandel's mother off first when the lift finally arrived safely.

OK, the gentleman may have been a little brusque.

"She's 80 years old. You trampled my mother," Mandel griped, amused.

"She's lived long enough. If I die, it's important to the show. Your mother's expendable," Stern quipped.

"My mother lived 80 years and then she met Howard," Mandel giggled.

And what of the talent on Monday's two-hour season premiere, which auditioned talent in Los Angeles and St. Louis?

Los Angeles highlights included William Close, who turned the entire theater into a musical instrument he called an Earth Harp and played it mesmerizingly; the crisply clogging Elements Dance Crew; an acrobatic sport-bike act called All Wheel Sport; the very young aerialist Amazing Elizabeth; rap freestyler Chris La Vrar, who swore he made up his lyrics "100% off the top of my head," though I have my doubts; and the adorable father-daughter singing act Jorge and Alexa, who made Stern express a desire to call his dad up and ask him why he didn't play guitar with him when he was a kid.



Top St. Louis contenders included cross-bow sharpshooter act Ben Black; this season's requisite glow-in-the-dark high-tech dance ensemble, Lightwire Theater; the Loyalty Dance Crew, who worked retail and fast food jobs but loved to dance; a singing waiter calling himself Simply Sergio (it was his rendition of "God Bless America" that brought Stern to the stage for a hug); and another very sweet father-daughter singing duo, street musicians Maurice and Shanice, whose "You've Got a Friend" showed off her beautiful alto. Stern called their act "perfection."



And the lowlights? A kooky lady who lets her cockatiels eat directly from her mouth, who sang … while covered with birds; a circus sideshow performer/stay-at-home dad who pierced his face with long needles (at least that's what it looked like through my fingers); the aforementioned "stripper magician" whose wand (ahem) Stern deemed too small.



"I'm really hopeful," Stern said at the end of Monday's show. "I feel we're on our way."

You know what, Howard? I feel that way, too.

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Photo: Kotton Kandy with Nick Cannon. Credit: Virginia Sherwood/NBC.

'Dancing With the Stars' recap: Semifinal shake-ups and breakdowns

We’re down to the semifinals, ballroom fans. Four remaining couples are jockeying for a position in the “Dancing With the Stars” Season 14 finale and a shot at the coveted Mirrorball trophy.

Each couple had to dance two full dances this time around. And because all the stars are pretty much evenly matched at this point, it could be anyone’s game. The judges seemed a bit more nit-pickier than usual, but we still ended up with two couples earning perfect 30 scores, as well as an injury that could put a former leading scorer’s position in peril.

Here’s how they ranked our four remaining stars.

'Mad Men' recap: 'Every man for himself'

“Dark Shadows” is an episode of “Mad Men” that is deceptive in its simplicity: Because nothing terribly dramatic happens, it’s easy to overlook just what a complex and meticulously plotted hour of television it really is. While it’s fairly obvious that this episode is all about rivalries — Betty versus Megan, Peggy and Don versus Ginsberg, Roger versus Pete — what’s really impressive about “Dark Shadows” is how these seemingly isolated feuds feed off one another, creating a toxic web of resentment and jealousy. Series creator Matthew Weiner has a habit of crafting lines of dialogue that point to broader thematic concerns. Last season, there was Henry’s warning to Betty: “There is no fresh start”; this time around, as Weiner himself suggested in an interview just before the season premiere, it’s Roger who acts as a sage when he tells Peggy, “It’s every man for himself.”

At the risk of being pelted with rotten tomatoes, I must say I’m thrilled to have Betty back. While she’s far from the most sympathetic character on “Mad Men,” Betty is, I think, a vital part of the series. I strenuously object to the idea, espoused by many fans, that Betty is somehow superfluous because she’s no longer married to Don. As the quintessential Unhappy Housewife, she represents millions of women of her era. But more specifically, she also still has has a very potent effect on her children and, by extension, her ex-husband and his new wife. To quote Megan, Betty is still capable of poisoning them from 50 miles away, which means she's still very much a part of the "Mad Men" story.

Since we last saw her, Betty has adopted a strict diet routine and managed to shed a few pounds. She’s even gained a modicum of self-awareness, which, for Betty, represents an enormous step forward. Her weekly Weight Watchers meetings have done more to boost Betty’s emotional intelligence than her various stints in therapy, and she’s conscious, in a way that we’ve never seen before, of the link between her unhappiness and her various bad habits.

But just as Betty appears to be evolving, she reverts to her favorite form of emotional release — the spiteful act of sabotage. (Her second-favorite: surreptitious mouthfuls of canned whipped cream.) It’s something we’ve seen time and time again from Betty, first when she orchestrated an affair between Arthur and Sara Beth, and more recently when she fired Carla out of misdirected anger toward Glen. This time around, though, it’s Sally who becomes a pawn in her mother’s juvenile act of vengeance.

‘Fringe’ recap: The end … for now

Well done, “Fringe.”

Season 4 was probably one of the most daring risks in television. The kind of bold leap only a show teetering on the edge could make: erasing its own history. Though “Fringe” took that experiment and used it to explore its past. The details may have changed, but the themes of scientific ethics and how far you will go for the people you love came through even stronger, building to this week’s finale. It was the culmination of the past four years, and it came together in a way that was dramatic, personal, surprising and ultimately uplifting, a true gift to the fans who stuck with this show through its often rocky life.

The past few episodes brought to the foreground story lines that have been developing since the first season. There was David Robert Jones’ evil plot, which turned out to be William Bell’s evil plot, which turned out to be Walter’s evil plot. Olivia learned the full extent of the powers given to her by the Cortexiphan and why she was given them in the first place. Plus we saw the true purpose of a few early “Fringe” cases like the were-porcupines. Everything was connected, and it all built from one of the oldest concerns of dabbling in Fringe Science: playing God.

Late Night: Jesus never said anything about gays, Colbert says

 

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When it comes to the issue of same-sex marriage, this week has certainly been historic. On "The Colbert Report" on Thursday night, Stephen Colbert still wasn't able to come to grips with the news. "I don't know about you, but I am still reeling from President Obama's announcement that he is gay," he joked. "“I have to assume that’s the reason he supports gay marriage."

Kidding aside, Colbert took the opportunity to debunk the claim, propagated by many Christian conservatives, that Jesus condemned homosexual relationships. He played footage of Dallas megachurch pastor Robert Jeffress -- the guy who thinks Mormonism is a cult -- suggesting that Obama "has really contradicted the Jesus he says he followed."

Colbert decided to go directly to the source. "I would like to read to you what the Jesus said about homosexuality," he declared, breaking out his trusty Bible. "I would like to,  but he never said anything about it. Evidently Jesus was so filled with rage that he was speechless."

But just because Jesus never publicly denounced homosexuality doesn't mean he personally approved of it, Colbert reasoned.  "I am confident he condemned it all the time in private, when he was hanging out with those other 12 dudes at their elaborate dinner parties, where they all sat on the same side of the table, just living the bachelor life together, drinking wine and working on their washboard abs," he said.

As a practicing Catholic and Sunday school teacher, Colbert presumably knows a thing or two about Jesus. But could his stance on gay marriage -- and his winking suggestion that Jesus and his disciples were a bunch of "confirmed bachelors" -- draw the ire of fellow Catholics? We shall see.

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'American Idol' recap: Hollie Cavanagh ousted, three remain

It was no pleasure to see Hollie Cavanagh go home on "American Idol" on Thursday night, just shy of earning a slot in the top three and a hero's homecoming. Despite giving uneven performances all the way through – a few rousing numbers ("The Climb," which she reprised as her goodbye song, and, just this week, Journey's "Faithfully") amid a sea of so-so ones – Cavanagh had been unfailingly likable, sunny and upbeat in the face of near-constant criticism.

The 18-year-old British-Texan seemed to embody a certain all-American can-do attitude, an optimistic stick-to-itivenenss, doggedly getting out there and giving it another shot, week after week, long after most people – including probably the "Idol" judges and Jimmy Iovine -- had expected her to stick around.

But Cavanagh's time was clearly up. And of course, it would have been far worse to have seen any of the others go. Jessica Sanchez, Joshua Ledet and Phillip Phillips are the perfect top three. Each so different. Each so talented.

Before the results were revealed, each of the top four contestants was called forward for a recap of the previous night's performances and a taste of Iovine's tough love. The "Idol" mentor had high praise for Sanchez, calling her "Dreamgirls" number "flawless" and saying that, immediately afterward, star maker Tommy Mottola had emailed him to say she was "the real thing" and he couldn't wait to go to her first concert. He gushed that, on Damien Rice's "Volcano," Phillips had "finally delivered" on his promise, giving a "magnificent" performance that would have prompted Iovine to sign him on the spot had he heard him do it in a club. And he said Ledet was practically speaking in tongues on "It's a Man's Man's Man's World," and while he had seen Prince and Bruce Springsteen do that, "I've never seen that on 'American Idol' … It was so, so captivating. I want to see it again and again and again."

Late Night: Obama's gay marriage announcement wins praise

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Yesterday, President Obama surprised millions of Americans by declaring his personal support for gay marriage. The announcement, which came on the heels of North Carolina's vote to outlaw civil unions and same-sex marriages, was the fodder for much discussion on Wednesday night's talk shows, where hosts like Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert and Rachel Maddow responded to both developments with a range of emotions.

Colbert took his usual deeply ironic stance, suggesting that Obama's decision to go "push the rainbow button" represented an instantaneous threat to heterosexual unions everywhere. "This afternoon, your marriage started feeling a little weak, didn’t it?" he asked. "You got the sudden urge to abandon your family and go antiquing up at the cape."

Speaking about the vote in North Carolina, Colbert got a little verklempt. "You just dream of that special day when you can find your soul mate, and together you can celebrate your love of denying people their rights," he said, using a page from his script as a handkerchief.

Colbert also "praised" the outcome because it also helps "preserve traditional straight stereotypes" about gay promiscuity. "I believe gay people should be having hot, sweaty, anonymous man-piles in the basement of techno clubs devoid of the slightest emotional connection, as God intended." Amen to that!

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On "The Daily Show," Jon Stewart began on a more modest note. Just the day before, he had suggested that Obama was "being disingenuous" by not simply saying that he is in favor of same-sex marriage.

The historical import of Obama's announcement, which drew thunderous applause from the "Daily Show" audience, could "in no way be dampened by the codifying of bigotry" in North Carolina -- which, as Stewart pointed out, just so happens to be the state where  Democrats are holding their convention this year.

Stewart was skeptical of the idea that a ban on gay marriage would somehow alter the "historic meaning" of marriage. Even if it did, that might not be such a bad thing, he argued, since "marriage originated as a social construct that allowed family patriarchs to facilitate the transfer of chattel property such as livestock or daughters."

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Perhaps the most subdued response came from MSNBC host Rachel Maddow. Although she called Wednesday a "historic day for civil rights in America," she downplayed the idea that Obama's announcement represent a huge about-face -- or flip-flop, if you will -- by the president.

She argued that the Obama administration has been "great on the issue of gay rights" all along, even if he personally hasn't come out in favor of same-sex marriage. Maddow favorably compared the president to predecessors George W. Bush and Bill Clinton, who, despite claiming to personally admire gays and lesbians, enacted anti-gay policies in office.

"Ultimately what presidents do is they wield political power," she said. "Even before today, that legacy of that first term of the Barack Obama presidency was already clear. Today he added to that. He added icing to that. The cake was already baked."

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'American Idol' recap: The final four duke it out

I'm still a little damp-eyed from Jessica Sanchez's final performance on "American Idol" Wednesday night, on which the final four contestants each sang a song either from or about California (yes, somewhat random) as well as a song they wish they'd written themselves, which Ryan Seacrest also classified as songs that inspired them.

Sanchez's take on "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going" from "Dreamgirls," into which she channeled all the emotion stirred up by her near "Idol" ouster a few weeks back, may have inspired us all — or at least anyone who has at any point ever felt underappreciated or overlooked. It was not just beautifully sung and deeply felt; it was moving, galvanizing, electrifying. Breathtaking.

Jimmy Iovine had been so deeply affected by Sanchez's song during rehearsal, he said he'd probably never forget the moment. He said if she sang it the same way during the show, "it could be game-over."

It could be game-over.

It really would be game-over if it weren't for the fact that Sanchez has some stiff competition — at least for the judges' affections — in Phillip Phillips and Joshua Ledet.

Late Night: Rick Santorum, Jon Stewart sound off on gay marriage

 

On Tuesday, the people of North Carolina voted by a wide margin to outlaw same-sex marriages and civil unions in their state. Although this outcome was predicted by pollsters, it was still a stunning setback for gay-rights advocates, especially given their recent victories in New York and New Hampshire.

This gaping ideological divide was evident on Tuesday's late-night talk shows. On "The Tonight Show," Jay Leno grilled former presidential candidate Rick Santorum about his views on various social issues, including contraception, abortion and, of course, gay marriage.

Wearing his trademark sweater vest, Santorum defended traditional marriage on the grounds that "children need moms and dads" and that "men and women ... bring different attributes” to a relationship. (Tellingly, he didn't acknowledge the possibility that a couple, gay or otherwise, might want to get married but not have children.)

Leno is not known for being a relentless interrogator, but when Santorum expressed his opposition to gay adoption, he pushed back. "I have friends, gay parents, some women, some men, that are wonderful parents and they adopt children, and these children seem very happy," Leno said.

He also asked why, in the face of widespread economic woes, Santorum put such emphasis on social issues. "It’s the culture, not the economy," he replied, a quote that, were he still running for president, would no doubt come back to haunt him.

Over on "The Daily Show," it was a different story. Vice President Joe Biden recently made the frank -- and quite possibly accidental -- admission that he is "absolutely comfortable" with gay marriage. Stewart was less surprised by Biden's "straightforward sentiment" than by the three days of White House spin and media speculation that ensued.

Stewart instead directed particular scorn at White House press secretary Jay Carney, who attempted to downplay the apparent difference of opinion between Biden and President Obama on the subject of gay marriage.

Likening Carney's evasive statements to a "zen koan," Stewart paraphrased him this way: "The vice president’s new position is consistent with the president’s position, which has not changed, and is also changing."

Confused? You're not the only one.

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