Category: Real Housewives of New York City

'Real Housewives of New York City': Brooklyn state of mind

Real_housewives_NYC
While you’re reading this, Alex is in Brooklyn.

And guess what: Once you finish reading this, Alex will still be in Brooklyn.

These are the kind of tidbits we learn as our brains absorb each deliciously drama-filled minute of Bravo’s “Real Housewives” franchise -- and now there’s an abundance of those minutes with two nights of “Housewives” programming. Though, I found the tomato sauce-making tip offered during “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” to be the most educational. Who knew one’s menstrual cycle had cuisine powers? Um, Teresa, you may have a song on your hands.

But back to the NYC ladies …

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'Real Housewives of New York City': The message

Alex_mccord Is it Monday yet? I feel like I need a dose of the ladies over on “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” to keep me awake after this snoozer of an episode. Heck, I was even considering flipping my coffee table during that whole awkward, anti-climatic “message” scene.

Like, seriously? Where did the show I once loved go? It’s lost … along with Kelly’s pants, which go missing once again in this episode. How long before it’s time to send out a search and rescue crew? I feel like if we don’t act soon, those pants don’t have a chance of making a safe return.

On to the drama … that isn’t really drama anymore, it’s just blah.

Thursday’s episode began with Bethenny’s discovery that news of her pregnancy had been leaked on a blog. She’s confused by how it could have possibly been leaked since she’s only told a few people. And that’s all it takes. She breaks the news to Jason, who is visibly miffed … for about a minute. I don’t know. Something about the whole scene was weird. They recovered from their apparent outrage over the situation way too quickly. And did anyone find it odd that Bethenny told Jason she would be confirming the news rather than reaching a joint decision on how to handle the situation? Who am I kidding? I’m too bored to care.

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'Real Housewives of New York City': Meet Jennifer Gilbert, yet another new 'Housewife'

Jennifer_Gilbert It's time to learn yet another name from "The Real Housewives of New York City" cast. A few weeks ago, we were introduced to sexpot Sonja Morgan. And now another member will be squeezed into the apple-holding promo shot. In Thursday night's episode, we meet Jennifer Gilbert. She owns and runs Save the Date, an event-planning company, and is co-owner of Portamee, a baby-carrier company.  If that wasn't impressive, Ernst & Young named her entrepreneur of the year when she was 29.  Oh, and she is an alum of the Birthing of Giants program at MIT.  She's a bit familiar with legal drama, recently suing a matchmaking site for trademark infringement. But will she provide the TV drama?  ShowTracker spoke with the newest NYC housewife Thursday. Read on to see what Gilbert has to say about the Jill-Bethenny feud, who she surprisingly clicked with and her involvement with LuAnn's annoyingly catchy tune, "Money Can't Buy You Class."

How will you enter the mix?

I was brought in to plan Jill Zarin’s holiday party.  That’s how I enter the show, enter the scene, enter the lives of the women 'cause I did not know any of them before. I have no connection with any of these people. 

Had you seen the show before?

Oh, yeah. It’s kind of like popcorn.  You know, when you start eating … and you keep eating and all of sudden you look down and you’ve finished it? And you’re like, “Oh, my gosh. I can’t believe I just ate the whole thing." That’s what it’s like watching this show.

Given that you’ve seen the show and have seen all the drama that transpires, were you at all hesitant about joining the show?

Oh, absolutely.

Why?

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Get to know 'Real Housewives of New York City' newbie Sonja Morgan

Sonja_morgan As if our attention span wasn't already working overtime, the folks over at Bravo decided to add another gal (two, actually) into the mix over at "The Real Housewives of New York City."

First up: Sonja Morgan. We were introduced to Morgan two weeks ago. Remember, she's the one who lives next to Martin Scorsese?  She's blond. She loves yoga, sex, and Botox -- not necessarily in that order. And she's already adding a bit of her own drama to the show in the form of an Argentinian model/actor named Max. She may be the "straw the stirs the drink," but earlier this week she was just the woman who locked herself out of her home. But she still managed to chat with Show Tracker to dish on her reason for joining the show, Ramona's outspokenness ... and Kelly's amnesia.

Had you watched the show before joining the cast?

You know, I really didn’t watch it before. But I knew some of the girls on the show and I had seen clips. It seemed very exciting. I gave them great kudos for having the bravery to do it. But I was nervous. I don’t really like to be in large groups of people. I’m really good in small groups.

You had turned down the show before, right?

Yeah. At the beginning, they came to me when it was “Manhattan Moms.” And I was totally flattered, but since I hadn’t seen the show yet, I was scared off because I didn’t know if it would come off “Jerry Springer”-like or distasteful. Who knew? Who really knew?

What made you finally accept their invitation?

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'Real Housewives of New York City': Dog poop, a ring, and a shortage of fabric

Real_housewives-NYC
Just one second. I need to get this flier finished and posted around town before next week’s episode.

LOST: Kelly’s pants (again).

Last seen: Who knows?

What the pants looks like: Long and super skinny. Probably have a horse’s body emblazoned on them. Oh, and that horrid black beanie might be in one of its pockets.

Reward: LuAnn will say “Thank you” in Italian.

**And while you’re at it, if you could also keep a lookout for Alex’s pants, that’d be great. 


OK. Let’s get thing started … with a bowel movement?

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'Real Housewives of New York City': The catwalk

Sonja_morgan It finally happened.

No, not a bug-eyed Ramona walking down the runway -- that happened later in the episode. But first, we were finally introduced to one of two new “Housewives” this season: Sonja Morgan. She’s socially friendly with the same groups as LuAnn … but don’t hold that against her. She’s also known Ramona for 20 years. And in a lovely little montage, we got a snapshot of what we can expect. She loves men, parties and plastic surgery. She’s neighbors with Scorsese. She’s the straw that stirs the drink. She considers sex to be a healthy part of life, much in the same way yoga or good wine is. Oh, and remember Max, the dude who overlooked Kelly’s hideous pink rain boots last season and still hung out with her? Well, Sonja knows him, too. Very well. Maybe a little too well for Kelly’s liking. I can already feel the drama -- finally, something to distract us from this never-ending Jill-Bethenny feud!

Speaking of that teeny tiny misunderstanding, it seems Jill is reaching for an excuse to finally forgive Bethenny. 

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'Real Housewives of New York City': The confrontation

Bethenny_alex
Let me preface this post by thanking the folks at Bravo for not including even more footage -- which I’m sure there is -- of Kelly mentioning her spread in "the most infamous book in the world." Instead, we had to watch her parade around town in a mini-dress and beanie -- which apparently makes her in-tune with fashion trends? -- as she ambushed people on the street about their ensembles for a piece she’s writing (?) in a magazine. I don’t know what was worse, her high-pitched ‘Saw-rees’ (English translation: sorry) and pipsqueak “awws”; the fact that she asked minors if they were wearing underwear; or her inability to snap a picture. Oy. 

But there was too much drama going on in this episode to even process all that ridiculousness.

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'Real Housewives of New York City': Frenemies

Jill Hey, Show Trackers, just an FYI because I don’t know if it’s been mentioned: Kelly is posing for Playboy. Oh, wait, you got the memo from the THOUSANDS of times it’s been pointed out? Yeah, thought so. Are we going to be “forced” to watch every single process of this issue coming together? Watching paper being bonded together is not my idea of must-see TV.

If you tuned in, you saw as Kelly was interviewed by the “most handsome journalist” she’s ever met in her life for her feature in Playboy. And what a painfully awkward sight that was to see for several reasons: 1) She was way too into knowing what he thought of her nude photos. Oh, Kelly, you’re so shy sometimes; 2) That whole “A lot of people are curious to know what I look like without my clothes” statement was beyond ridiculous. Who are these “people”? Maybe they’re the ones that stole your pants in that Labor Day fiasco of an episode and; 3) Well, you saw it. You know. And is it me, or is she incredibly tan in her one-on-one interviews?

But on to the fighting. 

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'Real Housewives of New York City': Fashion escapades

RamonaThe episode starts with Bethenny telling Jason about her confrontation with Jill at the Jill Stewart fashion show. Ah! Yes! The Jill Zarin voice is back! But Jason seemed more interested in figuring out their living situation — “Before we step foot in our apartment, there will be a commitment made from me.”  Uh … how romantic? Bethenny didn’t seem to mind the business-like proposal. She, after all, has the three Bs: a boyfriend, booze and books. And, as Jason so stiffly noted, “You don’t need …” well, this is a family-friendly blog. Use your imagination to think of another B-word. What does he know? OF COURSE you do. Of. Course. It’s no fun otherwise!

But let’s move on to another letter in the alphabet, shall we? C is for Countess. Thank you, Kelly, for providing yet another moment to remind us. Who cares how you introduce LuAnn to other people? Just don’t call her “Countless” … it will only cause her to host another pitiful Labor Day party. But LuAnn loved every second of that moment. Before her head popped on it’s own from being overblown, Bethenny was on hand to do deflate her. Forget the boring details on how their confrontation escalated. Just know that Bethenny’s (awesomely fabulous to watch) comment, “I don’t like you. I don’t trust you. And I think you’re a snake,” was somehow miscoded by LuAnn’s brain. A nasty skank? Uh … Did anyone else hear that? I didn’t. But, I mean, fashion shows are loud (not that I know … I have, though, seen my fair share of "Project Runway" finales). Maybe she misheard? And maybe that’s why she thought Bethenny wouldn’t overhear her comments to Kelly. LuAnn — always ready to demonstrate the art of being classy — said Bethenny was foul, like a mad dog, and venomous. Oh, look. It seems the snake part did register! Sure, Bethenny was wrong to use the fashion show as a forum to unleash her tirade against LuAnn. But as we learn in this episode, the fashion show is really hust a boxing ring in designer duds. 

Cue yet another fashion show in which Kelly and Ramona are in attendance. Ms. I-don't-like-to-cause-a-scene Kelly decided it was the perfect place to bring up the fact that Ramona didn't invite her to her Labor Day party. Sure, i enjoyed seeing Ramona stutter. But, really, why bring it up? It's really not rocket science. But the two managed to fake niceness and go to the party together. After Ramona shipped daughter Avery off in a cab. In New Yory City. All alone. Alex was there. Jill was there ... and it wasn't long before Bethenny's name came up. At this point, it's reached Tamra-Gretchen status ("Real Housewives of Orange County") in terms of tiredness. 

Bethenny, meanwhile, gets to share her side of the story in separate meet-ups with Ramona and Alex. This voicemail and the "getting a hobby" comment deserve their own spinoff already. And don't get me started on Francois and his leg climbing.  

And, as required with each episode, we're once again reminded of LuAnn's (failed) marriage. This time around, LuAnn alerts everyone and their mother — literally; she told Jill's mother — that her divorce had been finalized. Does this mean I won't have to hear about her "marriage of 16 years" anymore? I highly doubt it. But it's something I will gladly endure if it means more outbursts from Ramona like in last night's episode. When she called LuAnn out in front of Simon and Alex, my jaw was on the floor. And just when I had picked it up ... she asked Kelly about her "off center" breasts! Oh, it was like I was an audience member in one of Oprah's big giveaway shows. I was beaming from ear to ear.

So Show Trackers, what did you think of Thursday's episode? Did Ramona steal the show? Share your favorite moment in the comments section below.

— Yvonne Villarreal


Photo: Ramona. Credit: Bravo.

Season 2 of "The Real Housewives of New Jersey" returns on a new night

Real_housewives_of_new_jersey Long before Snooki and her poof pièce de résistance were a television powerhouse, the ladies of “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” were bringing the drama from the mid-Atlantic region to the small screen. Now the Jersey Girls, er, Women, are back for a brand new season on a brand new night.

Flip the channel — not your table — to Bravo on Mondays, starting at 10 p.m. May 3, if you can’t get enough “bubbies” or if you just want to catch up with sisters Caroline and Dina, their sister-in-law Jacqueline, family friend Teresa and the delightfully wacky Danielle.

For a sneak peak of Season 2 — which sees both Jacqueline and Teresa having babies and a persistent Danielle still fighting her way into the inner circle — click here.

-- Yvonne Villarreal

Photo credit: Bravo

'Real Housewives of New York City': It is what it is

Kelly Ah, finally, the episode centering on Kelly's infamous photo shoot for the infamous Playboy magazine! Sigh. The amount of airtime this non(event) has gotten rivals LuAnn's mentioning of her "marriage of 16 years." I. Need. A. Break. It started with LuAnn discussing it with her daughter Victoria as they were en route to the city from the Hamptons. And, naturally, LuAnn found an opportunity to make it about herself. When Victoria mentioned her friend thought her mom was hot, the cougar in LuAnn was roaring with pride and pressed for more details. LuAnn, it's a prepubescent boy. Not George Clooney. Get over yourself. 

Things quickly shifted back to Kelly and her "cha cha."

Kelly -- oh-em-gee! She found her pants! -- decides to take her daughters out to lunch to discuss how their mommy is about to pose naked. When she asked if they know what posing for Playboy means, her youngest daughter, Teddy, offered this gem of an explanation: "When you're a bunny. When you have no top on. And you're wearing a leather skirt and they cover it up with your hair." Wowzers. But that doesn't stop Kelly from thinking it's her duty to "entertain people with [her] weirdness," as Teddy says.

It seems Kelly wasn't at the same lunch because when the infamous day of the infamous shoot for the infamous magazine arrived, she seemed to think her kids were really excited for this infamous day. Cue Kelly sporting bunny ears and a bunny outfit -- "I like the bunny ears because it's traditional." Uh? And when some dude noted that Bethenny did a photo shoot for PETA, Kelly proved once again why the "mute" button is such a fantastic invention -- if you know when to use it. It's easier to list her ramblings and let you roll your eyes for yourself: "It's not like you're posing nude; you're posing nude for the most infamous book in the world." (Uh, I'm pretty sure that still means you're posing nude.) Then there was: "This supercedes being a model." Oh, and the doozy, that Playboy serves as "stamp of approval that you are a beautiful woman." Oh, is that what it does?

But don't think that's the end of the infamous photo shoot. There will never be an end to it. At a party LuAnn is hosting, the photo shoot is again the topic of conversation when a clueless Alex arrives. When she's told about Kelly's 10-page spread -- no pun intended! -- gotta love Jill -- Alex is, well, confused. As someone who received criticism from LuAnn and Jill for showing her bare bits and pieces to the world, Alex finds it odd that they're so supportive (to Kelly's face, that is) that Kelly is baring it all. Tsk. Tsk. I guess Alex didn't get the alert that Playboy is the most infamous book in the world. Some people live such sheltered lives. 

On to more important matters: the infamous Bethenny voicemail. 

Uh, was anyone else underwhelmed by it? Sure, it wasn't the nicest voicemail to receive from a friend, but still, if she's so hurt by it, why can't Jill just move on? And why did she save it? And why is she playing it for others to hear? I'm starting to wonder if she does, in fact, need a hobby. 

And was anyone else also underwhelmed by their confrontation later in the episode? It's obvious Jill is hurt by the situation. And it's obvious she'd like to mend things. So why not just talk things out? 

But instead of dealing with her own problems, Jill tries to fix everyone else's. She saw Ramona for the first time since the infamous labor day party feud and instead of playing nice, Jill decided to bring up the whole "countless" remark. Oy. I'm all for friends defending friends. And I'm definitely all for people calling out Mario. But it's just not worth it. 

Wait. I think we're getting a PSA from Kelly about fur. Nope. Wrong. It's a mini-infomercial on why she wears fur? Wait. Did she just say what I think she said. "Do I wear fur? Yes. Do I support the abuse of animals? No." Uh, how does that seem logical to her? Does she think the fur comes from the clouds? And wait. Did she just say she's always been a "great fur wearer"? 

I'm put slightly at ease knowing that this infamous Playboy spread isn't as infamous as she would have hoped. She's not part of the magazine's 40th anniversary issue (shout out to reader "amy" for pointing that out in last week's post). Nope. She's part of the issue celebrating the 40th anniversary of the bunny costume. Ouch. Anyone else think Jill got a little bit of joy out of that? I know I did. 

So Show Trackers, what did you think of this episode? Confused about why Alex feels the need to have a "gay during the day"? Or more confused that her kids climb up people's legs? Did you think Bethenny's voicemail was bad? Sound off below.

--Yvonne Villarreal

Photo: Kelly Bensimon. Credit: Bravo

'Real Housewives of New York City': Labor (Day) strike

LuAnn When Ramona and her husband Mario are the go-to couple to dine with, there's something wrong -- yet oh so right -- with the universe. I'm waiting for my invitation.

Their first double date is with newly love stung Bethenny and her boyfriend (now soon-to-be husband) Jason. Oh, wait. Forgot to mention the fifth wheel at the dinner table: Ramona's hair. At this point, that coif needs its own agent with all the attention its getting. Did she really say her hair is a sex symbol? Oy.

Things over drinks would only get better when LuAnn became the topic of conversation. And Ramona and Bethenny sure had plenty to say after their awkward and tense encounters with the countess -- or as Ramona likes to call it, being "verbally raped."

Bethenny's assessment: "She just left her husband and grew a penis." Tsk, tsk, Bethenny. You know how LuAnn hates for you to talk behind her back ... or for anyone to comment on anything related to her "marriage of 16 years." How many years? 16. 16. 16. I must remember to keep tally of how many times we're knocked over the head with that fact. 

And Ramona and Mario, now the social butterflies, continued their fluttering ways with another dinner date. This time with ... Alex and Simon? Huh? Oh, and it gets better. Tweedledee (Mario) and Tweedledum (Simon) were wearing matching suits. How perfect. But wait ... Ramona's hair is back in the shot. And I don't know whether to smack Simon or hug him for telling Ramona she looked like Cameron Diaz. Why feed her ego? Oh, because it's funny.

But it can't all be double dates and Ramona's hair ... it is Labor Day weekend, after all. Let the (clashing) parties begin!

Ramona is hosting a shindig at her home in the Hamptons -- remember, the one LuAnn refuses to go to unless Mario apologizes for his "countless" comment? It's finally arrived. Jill calls Ramona to tell her she won't be attending because she doesn't want to get caught in the middle of the drama. Um, hello! Look at where you're standing, Jill. Right. In. The. Middle. And then I was reminded of the benefits of speakerphone conversations when Ramona unleashed this sentiment: "[LuAnn] has been a slut the whole time she's been married." Gasp! Do you think she was referring to the marriage of 16 years?

The party went on despite the no-shows. In attendance: Bethenny, Jason, Alex, Simon and, well, who cares about the rest? Bethenny's strained relationship with Jill became the ice breaker. I, like Bethenny, wondered who the heck this Jennifer person was. But for Bethenny to say "Are you the caterer? What are you talking to me for?" was a bit uncalled for. Kind of reminiscent of a certain bar incident, wouldn't you agree?

When it came time for Alex and Simon to switch parties and head to LuAnn's, a "renewed" Ramona bullied them into staying. And that was probably a good thing.

Over at LuAnn's depressing Labor Day party, not much was happening. Jill was there ... and, well, the kids. Oh, there's Kelly. Wait. Where are her pants? There's no time to search for them. Kelly has big news to share: She'll be posing for Playboy's 40th anniversary issue. I enjoyed that news if only because it allowed LuAnn -- ever the opportunist -- to fetch a photo of her on the cover of Playgirl, clutching onto a very hairy man's chest. I don't get it. Am I supposed to find that amazing?

And how sickeningly cute is Jason? That whole "I was missing something in my life, when I found you everything changed" comment had me on the floor. Rewind. Rewind. Rewind.

Also, note to Ramona: the "mountain out of a molehill" idiom needs to be retired. Like, now. Please.

Show Trackers, what did you think of the episode? Would you watch a show that contained only footage of Ramona's hair? Team Jill? Team Bethenny? Team LuAnn? Team Ramona? Or Team "I don't care?" Share your comments below.

-- Yvonne Villarreal

Photo: LuAnn de Lesseps. Credit: Bravo

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