Ah, finally, the episode centering on Kelly's infamous photo shoot for the infamous Playboy magazine! Sigh. The amount of airtime this non(event) has gotten rivals LuAnn's mentioning of her "marriage of 16 years." I. Need. A. Break. It started with LuAnn discussing it with her daughter Victoria as they were en route to the city from the Hamptons. And, naturally, LuAnn found an opportunity to make it about herself. When Victoria mentioned her friend thought her mom was hot, the cougar in LuAnn was roaring with pride and pressed for more details. LuAnn, it's a prepubescent boy. Not George Clooney. Get over yourself.
Things quickly shifted back to Kelly and her "cha cha."
Kelly -- oh-em-gee! She found her pants! -- decides to take her daughters out to lunch to discuss how their mommy is about to pose naked. When she asked if they know what posing for Playboy means, her youngest daughter, Teddy, offered this gem of an explanation: "When you're a bunny. When you have no top on. And you're wearing a leather skirt and they cover it up with your hair." Wowzers. But that doesn't stop Kelly from thinking it's her duty to "entertain people with [her] weirdness," as Teddy says.
It seems Kelly wasn't at the same lunch because when the infamous day of the infamous shoot for the infamous magazine arrived, she seemed to think her kids were really excited for this infamous day. Cue Kelly sporting bunny ears and a bunny outfit -- "I like the bunny ears because it's traditional." Uh? And when some dude noted that Bethenny did a photo shoot for PETA, Kelly proved once again why the "mute" button is such a fantastic invention -- if you know when to use it. It's easier to list her ramblings and let you roll your eyes for yourself: "It's not like you're posing nude
; you're posing nude for the most infamous book in the world." (Uh, I'm pretty sure that still means you're posing nude.) Then there was: "This supercedes being a model." Oh, and the doozy, that Playboy serves as "stamp of approval that you are a beautiful woman." Oh, is that what it does?
But don't think that's the end of the infamous photo shoot. There will never be an end to it. At a party LuAnn is hosting, the photo shoot is again the topic of conversation when a clueless Alex arrives. When she's told about Kelly's 10-page spread -- no pun intended! -- gotta love Jill -- Alex is, well, confused. As someone who received criticism from LuAnn and Jill for showing her bare bits and pieces to the world, Alex finds it odd that they're so supportive (to Kelly's face, that is) that Kelly is baring it all. Tsk. Tsk. I guess Alex didn't get the alert that Playboy is the most infamous book in the world. Some people live such sheltered lives.
On to more important matters: the infamous Bethenny voicemail.
Uh, was anyone else underwhelmed by it? Sure, it wasn't the nicest voicemail to receive from a friend, but still, if she's so hurt by it, why can't Jill just move on? And why did she save it? And why is she playing it for others to hear? I'm starting to wonder if she does, in fact, need a hobby.
And was anyone else also underwhelmed by their confrontation later in the episode? It's obvious Jill is hurt by the situation. And it's obvious she'd like to mend things. So why not just talk things out?
But instead of dealing with her own problems, Jill tries to fix everyone else's. She saw Ramona for the first time since the infamous labor day party feud and instead of playing nice, Jill decided to bring up the whole "countless" remark. Oy. I'm all for friends defending friends. And I'm definitely all for people calling out Mario. But it's just not worth it.
Wait. I think we're getting a PSA from Kelly about fur. Nope. Wrong. It's a mini-infomercial on why she wears fur? Wait. Did she just say what I think she said. "Do I wear fur? Yes. Do I support the abuse of animals? No." Uh, how does that seem logical to her? Does she think the fur comes from the clouds? And wait. Did she just say she's always been a "great fur wearer"?
I'm put slightly at ease knowing that this infamous Playboy spread isn't as infamous as she would have hoped. She's not part of the magazine's 40th anniversary issue (shout out to reader "amy" for pointing that out in last week's post). Nope. She's part of the issue celebrating the 40th anniversary of the bunny costume. Ouch. Anyone else think Jill got a little bit of joy out of that? I know I did.
So Show Trackers, what did you think of this episode? Confused about why Alex feels the need to have a "gay during the day"? Or more confused that her kids climb up people's legs? Did you think Bethenny's voicemail was bad? Sound off below.
Photo: Kelly Bensimon. Credit: Bravo