'Hell's Kitchen': Maturity wins the day

Danny walked into "Hell's Kitchen" a long shot -- an overly confident, straggedly-haired, self-described Florida redneck.

Tonight, he leaves "Hell's Kitchen" as the Season 5 winner, $250,000 richer, and headed for a head chef's job at the Borgata Hotel & Spa in Atlantic City. Perhaps more important, he won a startling level of praise from the exacting Chef Gordon Ramsay:

"Danny won 'Hell's Kitchen' because in a very short period of time he grew more than any other chef I've ever seen. He now has the talent and maturity to become a great head chef."

(I cede the talent point. But on the maturity front, I'll have to risk disagreeing with Chef Ramsay. This is a guy who named his restaurant "Velvet Hammer" because it was a nickname suggesting his sexual prowess with the ladies. Yuck. Not appetizing.)
 
The final service was a slugfest between Danny and Paula, a quiet, sleek-haired chef who opted for elegance over bravado. Working under them were former teammates, including Lacey, Ben and Giovanni. The trio had their share of problems in the kitchen tonight -- Lacey was her insufferable self and curdled the creme brulee again and again -- but all ultimately helped deliver the best final services in "Hell's Kitchen" history.

It was enough to make Chef Ramsay quip, "Why the [BLEEP] didn't you ever cook like that for me?"

While Danny's lack of modesty can be grating -- "I am a culinary prodigy" -- he did earn some bonus points when he weepingly recalled his deceased mom and how proud she'd be of this moment: "I just love my mom so much," he said, adding that it was so unfair that she died too soon, "I know she's looking down crying with me, saying 'That's my boy, I knew he was gong to make something of himself.' "

Take a look back at the season here.

-- Rene Lynch

The 'Hell's Kitchen' star offers a taste of the style that has accompanied his reality-show success. And his mini-empire stretches beyond TV.

Gordon Ramsay's pasta roller is falling apart. Because I've broken it.

The Scottish-born chef on Fox's reality show "Hell's Kitchen" is trying to show me how to cook salmon-stuffed tortellini. But we've barely started rolling the egg-white dough into long, appetizing, chamois-width garlands of pasta when the machine's handle comes off in my grip. Twice.

When things like this happen on the TV show -- and really, such kitchen mishaps are pretty much the whole point of "Hell's Kitchen," where the master chef scouts a suitable protege from a platoon of eager young apprentice cooks with diverse aptitudes -- Ramsay turns the whole experience into a teaching opportunity. He will get very red in the face, race up to one of the student chefs and then bellow some helpful advice in his or her ear. Usually spiced with a bleeped-out, four-letter word or two.

My culinary skills are, it is safe to say, modest; I can scramble eggs and broil a steak, but not much else. Now, standing there with the pasta-roller handle in my hand, I brace myself for the hurricane of chef Ramsay's loathing. Would he try to psych me out, the way he does contestants on the show? Would he tell me I'm worthless and have no self-respect? To get the [expletive] out of his [again with the expletives] kitchen?

Read more (and see video): Cooking with Gordon Ramsay

-- Scott Collins

Photo: Gordon Ramsay, 42, presides over a mini-empire that has vaulted him into the ranks of celebrity chefs.  Credit: Myung J. Chun / Los Angeles

Tonight was basically a setup for the finale, but there were a few highlights: We got to relive Danny's first foray into "Hell's Kitchen," when he declared himself the "god of cooking"; Colleen mixing up the sugar and the salt; and Seth wiping his face with a filthy towel, and then using said filthy towel to wipe off a plate. Yum!

Paula and Danny are the last two standing and spent the night boozing it up on sparkling wine, leading to a rough morning after when the two had to get up and get going on the traditional final challenge: creating their own dining rooms within "Hell's Kitchen."

"I feel like an idiot now for getting drunk," Danny said.

He might want to reserve that feeling for some of his decorating decisions: mounting stuffed fish on the walls as a touch befitting a seafood restaurant, and his choice of restaurant names. He was considering calling it "The Velvet Hammer" -- he explained that the name dates back to his high school days, when Danny was apparently quite popular with the ladies. Classy!

The final two then jetted off to the Borgata Hotel in Atlantic City to get a taste of what's to come -- and to face off in another challenge: three dishes off their planned restaurant menus, all made within 45 minutes. Victory went to Danny, who said he thinks he may be the only chef in the world who'd think to jerk a lobster.

But wait, there's more! When the chefs returned home to "Hell's Kitchen," they had help waiting for them. Several of their teammates had returned, including Ben, Giovanni, Andrea and, gulp, Lacey. 

Was it any surprise that Lacey was the last person picked for the teams? Paula got stuck with her -- a serious liability.

-- Rene Lynch

Stop the presses! Chef Ramsay smiled!

A near-perfect dinner service led Chef Ramsay to actually bust out a grin and praise his underlings for  "bloody great service." But that lasted all of two seconds. It was soon time to put someone on the chopping block. And it was Andrea.

Who would have predicted that quiet-as-a-church-mouse Paula and redneck Danny (his description) would be the last two chefs standing?

When the field started with 16, it looked like Ben or Giovanni or even Andrea would be among the final contestants. And Andrea nearly made it to the end through sheer willpower and despite numerous flops in the kitchen. But it all caught up with her Thursday night, when Chef Ramsay sent her packing.

The night started with visits from friends and family but quickly shifted gears into a brilliant challenge that should become a "Hell's Kitchen" mainstay: practically a who's who of Los Angeles chefs (Mark Peel, Suzanne Goin, Celestino Drago, etc.) were in Hell's Kitchen to judge the final three contestants' dishes. "Los Angeles must be starving because you're all here," Chef Ramsay joked.

Seriously though, scheduling that must have been a nightmare. But it was worth any hassle. The judging elite was unanimous: Danny's dish was the dog's dinner, and Paula's was the best. The win earned Paula a makeover, and a segment on Fox's morning show.

When the three chefs took their turns running the kitchen -- perhaps the marquee challenge in "Hell's Kitchen" -- Paula stumbled badly, as Chef Ramsay said, like a "mouse with no voice." Danny's voice cracked like a 13-year-old boy asking a girl out on a date. And Andrea overcompensated -- putting on her "assertive panties," as she put it -- and is lucky that Chef Scott didn't kill her. ("She was riding him like a donkey," Paula quipped.)

So who do you think it will be? Paula or Danny? I think Paula has the edge. I think both chefs have the skills and the smarts to be molded into Chef Ramsay's image. But Danny has had a few slip-ups, taste-wise. (And apparently more to come with the final challenge, when the chefs must open their own restaurants. To the designer's apparent horror, Danny suggests mounting fish as part of the decor.) And there's no way that Chef Ramsay can teach him that.

The single funniest moment of the night -- and perhaps of the entire season -- was the "spark" between Paula and Jean-Philippe. Do you think? Could it really be??

-- Rene Lynch

Um, can someone explain why Andrea is still in this thing?

The "Taste it, now make it" challenge kicked off the night, and victory went to Danny. Maybe it was the editing, or Danny's loudmouth ways, but who would have known that this self-described redneck would make it to the Final 3. But there he is, along with Paula -- also a bit of a surprise -- and Andrea. Andrea!

Can someone please explain why Andrea is still in this thing?

That meant Ben went home, but Ben beat Andrea hands down in the attitude department -- Chef Ramsay said as much -- and certainly was at least as bad a cook as Andrea. That's not saying much, of course, but given the choice between those two, Ben could more easily lead a kitchen of his own. And besides, this just allows Andrea to have bragging rights. And do we need her to be any more self-aggrandizing than she already is?

Does anyone else remember when Robert first walked into "Hell's Kitchen"? Didn't he claim that he'd put his wedding on hold so he could try his chance at winning a job at one of Chef Gordon Ramsay's restaurants?

If my memory turns out to be right, his fiancee is probably going to be pretty unhappy with his performance this week. And I'm not talking about the chest pains and heart ailment that forced him to ultimately bow out of the competition. I'm talking about the way he kept trying to paw the "Borgata babes," as he put it. Sheesh. It was like he'd never seen a half-dressed woman before.

Good-bye Robert, and here's hoping that you are soon on the mend (and that you can shed some of those 400 lbs. that are not helping your health.) Maybe "Hell's Kitchen" will invite you back. Dunno if you really had a shot at going the distance, but you did earn your way into the Top 5, and you stood up to Chef Ramsay and earned his respect. You were also a pretty nice guy. And you were always good for a laugh. ("You ain't a man until you use a loofah, straight up.")

Oh no! Gio!

It wasn't that long ago that Giovanni looked like the frontrunner in this game, but he's a goner after an unbelievably bad dinner service. But did he deserve the ax? Didn't it seem like he was doing well all along, and exhibited sound leadership skills? Should he really go home after one bad dinner service? Admittedly, it was more than bad, it was a horrendous dinner service. And Gio really screwed up by inexplicably placing a 500-degree pan in the fridge to cool it down -- only it ended up badly burning Robert, who had no idea it was hot.

Still, Chef Ramsay seemed a bit hard on Gio, chasing him around the kitchen, taunting him, going nose to nose and nearly headbutting him (I wonder if Chef Ramsay ever worries about getting clocked). After all that, Chef Ramsay explained it all away with a "It's not personal, it's professional." Uh-huh.

So. Do you think Ben has a chance? I bet Ben thinks so.

-- Rene Lynch

Photo credit: Fox

Who would have thought at the beginning of this season that self-described redneck Danny would rise to the top? Or that Robert would replace Lacey for sheer entertainment value. Or that in the battle between Carol vs. Andrea, that Andrea would win.

But for how long?

It's been hard to pin down whether Andrea and Carol were submarining each other, or whether they are both just lousy. But tonight, Carol was the lousier of the two and was sent packing by Chef Ramsay: "Carol knew she was out of her depth in 'Hell's Kitchen,' I just put her out of her misery."

The night got underway with the contestants serving up dishes made with king crab -- and deciding among themselves which single dish would be served up to Chef Ramsay. Not surprisingly, Ben and Andrea bulldozed to have their dishes presented to Ramsay -- and had them both dashed. Chef Ramsay then called on Paula and Danny to present their dishes, and ruled them both excellent. In the end, though, the blue team won, and the men had a day in Santa Monica while the women were stuck cleaning crabs and listening to Andrea yammer.

It all came to a head at dinner service. The men's team earned a rating of 39% above average from diners, while the women earned a rating of 54% above average. That meant the men had to pony up a player for elimination, and Danny, who was the standout, had to do the honors. He put Ben on the chopping block, but in the end Chef Ramsay shocked everyone by nixing Carol instead.

-- Rene Lynch

When I watch the lazy and self-absorbed Lacey getting all red-eyed and crying that she's trying so hard and that everyone is being so mean to her and that no one understands her and she quits for the 13th time ... I can't help thinking of her family and friends.

Traditionally, contestants on "Hell's Kitchen" do not get an early look at the shows before they air. So, there's a good chance that Lacey has spent the last several Thursday nights sitting on a couch, surrounded by family and friends as she watches her 15 minutes of fame (and butt-scratching) play out on TV. And what must they think of the portrayal?

Is it: "Gosh, that's not the Lacey we know and love! That must be some sneaky editing by Fox. How unfair!"

Or, are they secretly quoting Chef Gordon Ramsay, and thinking: "'That's spot on!'"

Personally, I hope Lacey makes it to the Top Three or Top Four. She's just good TV, causing havoc and chaos wherever she goes. She was almost as bad as J, who according to Mr. Voiceover, delivered one of the worst performances in "Hell's Kitchen" history, leading chef Ramsay to kick him out mid-service.

Elsewhere in "Hell's Kitchen," Andrea and Carol continue to duke it out, but I'm having a hard time telling -- are either of them incompetent? Or are they just acting like jerks? Also, Giovanni seemed to be anointed the front-runner by Chef Ramsay, and he definitely acted the part of the leader tonight. Thoughts?

There was one moment I'd like to see more of: Chef Ramsay guiding his underlings, as when he told Paula she was hitting the mark with her dishes: "Compose yourself, time it and get on top of it."

-- Rene Lynch

(Photo courtesy Fox)

It was the most successful dinner service so far on this season of "Hell's Kitchen," which is a good thing because it was also a basket-ball-themed bah mitzvah for a 12-year-old boy named Max. (Wouldn't you love to know who his parent's know, if you know what I mean.) It was also the most joyous event ever in "Hell's Kitchen." Did you see Chef Gordon Ramsay not only cracking a smile, but actually laughing as the legendary Harlem Globetrotters -- said to be Ramsay's surprise gift to the guest of honor -- worked the room.

Still, there were plenty of misdeeds. Mushroom risotto served without mushrooms. A dirty plate that almost made its way in front of a guest. Brisket that had gone cold. And burgers that never saw this side of hot. And that meant that someone had to pay.

Was it fair for Chef Ramsay to bring the ax down on Coi? Clearly, she cracked so badly under the pressure that she couldn't deliver a burger. (Which is sad because she seemed to have a quiet strength about her.) And several of the other women on the red team seemed to think that Andrea should have been up for "eviction." What did you think? Did Andrea pull one over on Chef Ramsay? Did the wrong person go home?

You can always count on Chef Ramsay to bust out some unintentionally laugh-out-loud lines as he becomes exasperated with his witless wards. But tonight, he had several: "I'm absolutely gobsmacked you've fallen behind on the salads!" "For God sakes' woman! We're reheating meat!" And, of course "Where's the beef?!?! WHERE'S THE BEEF!?!?"

But the best quote of the night goes to L.A., who said of Francisco, the over-the-top flamboyant party planner: "I'm gay. That dude is parade gay."

Speaking of Francisco -- that whole re-encounter with Jean-Philippe seemed staged, no? And how about the knocking over of that chocolate cake? It would just seem like Chef Ramsay would have someone's head -- literally -- on a platter if that had really happened.

--Rene Lynch 

Cooking with Gordon Ramsay

The 'Hell's Kitchen' star offers a taste of the style that has accompanied his reality-show success. And his mini-empire stretches beyond TV.

Gordon Ramsay's pasta roller is falling apart. Because I've broken it.

The Scottish-born chef on Fox's reality show "Hell's Kitchen" is trying to show me how to cook salmon-stuffed tortellini. But we've barely started rolling the egg-white dough into long, appetizing, chamois-width garlands of pasta when the machine's handle comes off in my grip. Twice.

When things like this happen on the TV show -- and really, such kitchen mishaps are pretty much the whole point of "Hell's Kitchen," where the master chef scouts a suitable protege from a platoon of eager young apprentice cooks with diverse aptitudes -- Ramsay turns the whole experience into a teaching opportunity. He will get very red in the face, race up to one of the student chefs and then bellow some helpful advice in his or her ear. Usually spiced with a bleeped-out, four-letter word or two.

My culinary skills are, it is safe to say, modest; I can scramble eggs and broil a steak, but not much else. Now, standing there with the pasta-roller handle in my hand, I brace myself for the hurricane of chef Ramsay's loathing. Would he try to psych me out, the way he does contestants on the show? Would he tell me I'm worthless and have no self-respect? To get the [expletive] out of his [again with the expletives] kitchen?

Read more (and see video): Cooking with Gordon Ramsay

-- Scott Collins

Photo: Gordon Ramsay, 42, presides over a mini-empire that has vaulted him into the ranks of celebrity chefs.  Credit: Myung J. Chun / Los Angeles

Tonight was basically a setup for the finale, but there were a few highlights: We got to relive Danny's first foray into "Hell's Kitchen," when he declared himself the "god of cooking"; Colleen mixing up the sugar and the salt; and Seth wiping his face with a filthy towel, and then using said filthy towel to wipe off a plate. Yum!

Paula and Danny are the last two standing and spent the night boozing it up on sparkling wine, leading to a rough morning after when the two had to get up and get going on the traditional final challenge: creating their own dining rooms within "Hell's Kitchen."

"I feel like an idiot now for getting drunk," Danny said.

He might want to reserve that feeling for some of his decorating decisions: mounting stuffed fish on the walls as a touch befitting a seafood restaurant, and his choice of restaurant names. He was considering calling it "The Velvet Hammer" -- he explained that the name dates back to his high school days, when Danny was apparently quite popular with the ladies. Classy!

The final two then jetted off to the Borgata Hotel in Atlantic City to get a taste of what's to come -- and to face off in another challenge: three dishes off their planned restaurant menus, all made within 45 minutes. Victory went to Danny, who said he thinks he may be the only chef in the world who'd think to jerk a lobster.

But wait, there's more! When the chefs returned home to "Hell's Kitchen," they had help waiting for them. Several of their teammates had returned, including Ben, Giovanni, Andrea and, gulp, Lacey. 

Was it any surprise that Lacey was the last person picked for the teams? Paula got stuck with her -- a serious liability.

-- Rene Lynch

Stop the presses! Chef Ramsay smiled!

A near-perfect dinner service led Chef Ramsay to actually bust out a grin and praise his underlings for  "bloody great service." But that lasted all of two seconds. It was soon time to put someone on the chopping block. And it was Andrea.

Who would have predicted that quiet-as-a-church-mouse Paula and redneck Danny (his description) would be the last two chefs standing?

When the field started with 16, it looked like Ben or Giovanni or even Andrea would be among the final contestants. And Andrea nearly made it to the end through sheer willpower and despite numerous flops in the kitchen. But it all caught up with her Thursday night, when Chef Ramsay sent her packing.

The night started with visits from friends and family but quickly shifted gears into a brilliant challenge that should become a "Hell's Kitchen" mainstay: practically a who's who of Los Angeles chefs (Mark Peel, Suzanne Goin, Celestino Drago, etc.) were in Hell's Kitchen to judge the final three contestants' dishes. "Los Angeles must be starving because you're all here," Chef Ramsay joked.

Seriously though, scheduling that must have been a nightmare. But it was worth any hassle. The judging elite was unanimous: Danny's dish was the dog's dinner, and Paula's was the best. The win earned Paula a makeover, and a segment on Fox's morning show.

When the three chefs took their turns running the kitchen -- perhaps the marquee challenge in "Hell's Kitchen" -- Paula stumbled badly, as Chef Ramsay said, like a "mouse with no voice." Danny's voice cracked like a 13-year-old boy asking a girl out on a date. And Andrea overcompensated -- putting on her "assertive panties," as she put it -- and is lucky that Chef Scott didn't kill her. ("She was riding him like a donkey," Paula quipped.)

So who do you think it will be? Paula or Danny? I think Paula has the edge. I think both chefs have the skills and the smarts to be molded into Chef Ramsay's image. But Danny has had a few slip-ups, taste-wise. (And apparently more to come with the final challenge, when the chefs must open their own restaurants. To the designer's apparent horror, Danny suggests mounting fish as part of the decor.) And there's no way that Chef Ramsay can teach him that.

The single funniest moment of the night -- and perhaps of the entire season -- was the "spark" between Paula and Jean-Philippe. Do you think? Could it really be??

-- Rene Lynch

Um, can someone explain why Andrea is still in this thing?

The "Taste it, now make it" challenge kicked off the night, and victory went to Danny. Maybe it was the editing, or Danny's loudmouth ways, but who would have known that this self-described redneck would make it to the Final 3. But there he is, along with Paula -- also a bit of a surprise -- and Andrea. Andrea!

Can someone please explain why Andrea is still in this thing?

That meant Ben went home, but Ben beat Andrea hands down in the attitude department -- Chef Ramsay said as much -- and certainly was at least as bad a cook as Andrea. That's not saying much, of course, but given the choice between those two, Ben could more easily lead a kitchen of his own. And besides, this just allows Andrea to have bragging rights. And do we need her to be any more self-aggrandizing than she already is?

Does anyone else remember when Robert first walked into "Hell's Kitchen"? Didn't he claim that he'd put his wedding on hold so he could try his chance at winning a job at one of Chef Gordon Ramsay's restaurants?

If my memory turns out to be right, his fiancee is probably going to be pretty unhappy with his performance this week. And I'm not talking about the chest pains and heart ailment that forced him to ultimately bow out of the competition. I'm talking about the way he kept trying to paw the "Borgata babes," as he put it. Sheesh. It was like he'd never seen a half-dressed woman before.

Good-bye Robert, and here's hoping that you are soon on the mend (and that you can shed some of those 400 lbs. that are not helping your health.) Maybe "Hell's Kitchen" will invite you back. Dunno if you really had a shot at going the distance, but you did earn your way into the Top 5, and you stood up to Chef Ramsay and earned his respect. You were also a pretty nice guy. And you were always good for a laugh. ("You ain't a man until you use a loofah, straight up.")

Oh no! Gio!

It wasn't that long ago that Giovanni looked like the frontrunner in this game, but he's a goner after an unbelievably bad dinner service. But did he deserve the ax? Didn't it seem like he was doing well all along, and exhibited sound leadership skills? Should he really go home after one bad dinner service? Admittedly, it was more than bad, it was a horrendous dinner service. And Gio really screwed up by inexplicably placing a 500-degree pan in the fridge to cool it down -- only it ended up badly burning Robert, who had no idea it was hot.

Still, Chef Ramsay seemed a bit hard on Gio, chasing him around the kitchen, taunting him, going nose to nose and nearly headbutting him (I wonder if Chef Ramsay ever worries about getting clocked). After all that, Chef Ramsay explained it all away with a "It's not personal, it's professional." Uh-huh.

So. Do you think Ben has a chance? I bet Ben thinks so.

-- Rene Lynch

Photo credit: Fox

Who would have thought at the beginning of this season that self-described redneck Danny would rise to the top? Or that Robert would replace Lacey for sheer entertainment value. Or that in the battle between Carol vs. Andrea, that Andrea would win.

But for how long?

It's been hard to pin down whether Andrea and Carol were submarining each other, or whether they are both just lousy. But tonight, Carol was the lousier of the two and was sent packing by Chef Ramsay: "Carol knew she was out of her depth in 'Hell's Kitchen,' I just put her out of her misery."

The night got underway with the contestants serving up dishes made with king crab -- and deciding among themselves which single dish would be served up to Chef Ramsay. Not surprisingly, Ben and Andrea bulldozed to have their dishes presented to Ramsay -- and had them both dashed. Chef Ramsay then called on Paula and Danny to present their dishes, and ruled them both excellent. In the end, though, the blue team won, and the men had a day in Santa Monica while the women were stuck cleaning crabs and listening to Andrea yammer.

It all came to a head at dinner service. The men's team earned a rating of 39% above average from diners, while the women earned a rating of 54% above average. That meant the men had to pony up a player for elimination, and Danny, who was the standout, had to do the honors. He put Ben on the chopping block, but in the end Chef Ramsay shocked everyone by nixing Carol instead.

-- Rene Lynch

When I watch the lazy and self-absorbed Lacey getting all red-eyed and crying that she's trying so hard and that everyone is being so mean to her and that no one understands her and she quits for the 13th time ... I can't help thinking of her family and friends.

Traditionally, contestants on "Hell's Kitchen" do not get an early look at the shows before they air. So, there's a good chance that Lacey has spent the last several Thursday nights sitting on a couch, surrounded by family and friends as she watches her 15 minutes of fame (and butt-scratching) play out on TV. And what must they think of the portrayal?

Is it: "Gosh, that's not the Lacey we know and love! That must be some sneaky editing by Fox. How unfair!"

Or, are they secretly quoting Chef Gordon Ramsay, and thinking: "'That's spot on!'"

Personally, I hope Lacey makes it to the Top Three or Top Four. She's just good TV, causing havoc and chaos wherever she goes. She was almost as bad as J, who according to Mr. Voiceover, delivered one of the worst performances in "Hell's Kitchen" history, leading chef Ramsay to kick him out mid-service.

Elsewhere in "Hell's Kitchen," Andrea and Carol continue to duke it out, but I'm having a hard time telling -- are either of them incompetent? Or are they just acting like jerks? Also, Giovanni seemed to be anointed the front-runner by Chef Ramsay, and he definitely acted the part of the leader tonight. Thoughts?

There was one moment I'd like to see more of: Chef Ramsay guiding his underlings, as when he told Paula she was hitting the mark with her dishes: "Compose yourself, time it and get on top of it."

-- Rene Lynch

(Photo courtesy Fox)

It was the most successful dinner service so far on this season of "Hell's Kitchen," which is a good thing because it was also a basket-ball-themed bah mitzvah for a 12-year-old boy named Max. (Wouldn't you love to know who his parent's know, if you know what I mean.) It was also the most joyous event ever in "Hell's Kitchen." Did you see Chef Gordon Ramsay not only cracking a smile, but actually laughing as the legendary Harlem Globetrotters -- said to be Ramsay's surprise gift to the guest of honor -- worked the room.

Still, there were plenty of misdeeds. Mushroom risotto served without mushrooms. A dirty plate that almost made its way in front of a guest. Brisket that had gone cold. And burgers that never saw this side of hot. And that meant that someone had to pay.

Was it fair for Chef Ramsay to bring the ax down on Coi? Clearly, she cracked so badly under the pressure that she couldn't deliver a burger. (Which is sad because she seemed to have a quiet strength about her.) And several of the other women on the red team seemed to think that Andrea should have been up for "eviction." What did you think? Did Andrea pull one over on Chef Ramsay? Did the wrong person go home?

You can always count on Chef Ramsay to bust out some unintentionally laugh-out-loud lines as he becomes exasperated with his witless wards. But tonight, he had several: "I'm absolutely gobsmacked you've fallen behind on the salads!" "For God sakes' woman! We're reheating meat!" And, of course "Where's the beef?!?! WHERE'S THE BEEF!?!?"

But the best quote of the night goes to L.A., who said of Francisco, the over-the-top flamboyant party planner: "I'm gay. That dude is parade gay."

Speaking of Francisco -- that whole re-encounter with Jean-Philippe seemed staged, no? And how about the knocking over of that chocolate cake? It would just seem like Chef Ramsay would have someone's head -- literally -- on a platter if that had really happened.

--Rene Lynch 

'Hell's Kitchen': Oh no, Lacey's back!

Tonight was basically a setup for the finale, but there were a few highlights: We got to relive Danny's first foray into "Hell's Kitchen," when he declared himself the "god of cooking"; Colleen mixing up the sugar and the salt; and Seth wiping his face with a filthy towel, and then using said filthy towel to wipe off a plate. Yum!

Paula and Danny are the last two standing and spent the night boozing it up on sparkling wine, leading to a rough morning after when the two had to get up and get going on the traditional final challenge: creating their own dining rooms within "Hell's Kitchen."

"I feel like an idiot now for getting drunk," Danny said.

He might want to reserve that feeling for some of his decorating decisions: mounting stuffed fish on the walls as a touch befitting a seafood restaurant, and his choice of restaurant names. He was considering calling it "The Velvet Hammer" -- he explained that the name dates back to his high school days, when Danny was apparently quite popular with the ladies. Classy!

The final two then jetted off to the Borgata Hotel in Atlantic City to get a taste of what's to come -- and to face off in another challenge: three dishes off their planned restaurant menus, all made within 45 minutes. Victory went to Danny, who said he thinks he may be the only chef in the world who'd think to jerk a lobster.

But wait, there's more! When the chefs returned home to "Hell's Kitchen," they had help waiting for them. Several of their teammates had returned, including Ben, Giovanni, Andrea and, gulp, Lacey. 

Was it any surprise that Lacey was the last person picked for the teams? Paula got stuck with her -- a serious liability.

-- Rene Lynch

Stop the presses! Chef Ramsay smiled!

A near-perfect dinner service led Chef Ramsay to actually bust out a grin and praise his underlings for  "bloody great service." But that lasted all of two seconds. It was soon time to put someone on the chopping block. And it was Andrea.

Who would have predicted that quiet-as-a-church-mouse Paula and redneck Danny (his description) would be the last two chefs standing?

When the field started with 16, it looked like Ben or Giovanni or even Andrea would be among the final contestants. And Andrea nearly made it to the end through sheer willpower and despite numerous flops in the kitchen. But it all caught up with her Thursday night, when Chef Ramsay sent her packing.

The night started with visits from friends and family but quickly shifted gears into a brilliant challenge that should become a "Hell's Kitchen" mainstay: practically a who's who of Los Angeles chefs (Mark Peel, Suzanne Goin, Celestino Drago, etc.) were in Hell's Kitchen to judge the final three contestants' dishes. "Los Angeles must be starving because you're all here," Chef Ramsay joked.

Seriously though, scheduling that must have been a nightmare. But it was worth any hassle. The judging elite was unanimous: Danny's dish was the dog's dinner, and Paula's was the best. The win earned Paula a makeover, and a segment on Fox's morning show.

When the three chefs took their turns running the kitchen -- perhaps the marquee challenge in "Hell's Kitchen" -- Paula stumbled badly, as Chef Ramsay said, like a "mouse with no voice." Danny's voice cracked like a 13-year-old boy asking a girl out on a date. And Andrea overcompensated -- putting on her "assertive panties," as she put it -- and is lucky that Chef Scott didn't kill her. ("She was riding him like a donkey," Paula quipped.)

So who do you think it will be? Paula or Danny? I think Paula has the edge. I think both chefs have the skills and the smarts to be molded into Chef Ramsay's image. But Danny has had a few slip-ups, taste-wise. (And apparently more to come with the final challenge, when the chefs must open their own restaurants. To the designer's apparent horror, Danny suggests mounting fish as part of the decor.) And there's no way that Chef Ramsay can teach him that.

The single funniest moment of the night -- and perhaps of the entire season -- was the "spark" between Paula and Jean-Philippe. Do you think? Could it really be??

-- Rene Lynch

Um, can someone explain why Andrea is still in this thing?

The "Taste it, now make it" challenge kicked off the night, and victory went to Danny. Maybe it was the editing, or Danny's loudmouth ways, but who would have known that this self-described redneck would make it to the Final 3. But there he is, along with Paula -- also a bit of a surprise -- and Andrea. Andrea!

Can someone please explain why Andrea is still in this thing?

That meant Ben went home, but Ben beat Andrea hands down in the attitude department -- Chef Ramsay said as much -- and certainly was at least as bad a cook as Andrea. That's not saying much, of course, but given the choice between those two, Ben could more easily lead a kitchen of his own. And besides, this just allows Andrea to have bragging rights. And do we need her to be any more self-aggrandizing than she already is?

Does anyone else remember when Robert first walked into "Hell's Kitchen"? Didn't he claim that he'd put his wedding on hold so he could try his chance at winning a job at one of Chef Gordon Ramsay's restaurants?

If my memory turns out to be right, his fiancee is probably going to be pretty unhappy with his performance this week. And I'm not talking about the chest pains and heart ailment that forced him to ultimately bow out of the competition. I'm talking about the way he kept trying to paw the "Borgata babes," as he put it. Sheesh. It was like he'd never seen a half-dressed woman before.

Good-bye Robert, and here's hoping that you are soon on the mend (and that you can shed some of those 400 lbs. that are not helping your health.) Maybe "Hell's Kitchen" will invite you back. Dunno if you really had a shot at going the distance, but you did earn your way into the Top 5, and you stood up to Chef Ramsay and earned his respect. You were also a pretty nice guy. And you were always good for a laugh. ("You ain't a man until you use a loofah, straight up.")

Oh no! Gio!

It wasn't that long ago that Giovanni looked like the frontrunner in this game, but he's a goner after an unbelievably bad dinner service. But did he deserve the ax? Didn't it seem like he was doing well all along, and exhibited sound leadership skills? Should he really go home after one bad dinner service? Admittedly, it was more than bad, it was a horrendous dinner service. And Gio really screwed up by inexplicably placing a 500-degree pan in the fridge to cool it down -- only it ended up badly burning Robert, who had no idea it was hot.

Still, Chef Ramsay seemed a bit hard on Gio, chasing him around the kitchen, taunting him, going nose to nose and nearly headbutting him (I wonder if Chef Ramsay ever worries about getting clocked). After all that, Chef Ramsay explained it all away with a "It's not personal, it's professional." Uh-huh.

So. Do you think Ben has a chance? I bet Ben thinks so.

-- Rene Lynch

Photo credit: Fox

Who would have thought at the beginning of this season that self-described redneck Danny would rise to the top? Or that Robert would replace Lacey for sheer entertainment value. Or that in the battle between Carol vs. Andrea, that Andrea would win.

But for how long?

It's been hard to pin down whether Andrea and Carol were submarining each other, or whether they are both just lousy. But tonight, Carol was the lousier of the two and was sent packing by Chef Ramsay: "Carol knew she was out of her depth in 'Hell's Kitchen,' I just put her out of her misery."

The night got underway with the contestants serving up dishes made with king crab -- and deciding among themselves which single dish would be served up to Chef Ramsay. Not surprisingly, Ben and Andrea bulldozed to have their dishes presented to Ramsay -- and had them both dashed. Chef Ramsay then called on Paula and Danny to present their dishes, and ruled them both excellent. In the end, though, the blue team won, and the men had a day in Santa Monica while the women were stuck cleaning crabs and listening to Andrea yammer.

It all came to a head at dinner service. The men's team earned a rating of 39% above average from diners, while the women earned a rating of 54% above average. That meant the men had to pony up a player for elimination, and Danny, who was the standout, had to do the honors. He put Ben on the chopping block, but in the end Chef Ramsay shocked everyone by nixing Carol instead.

-- Rene Lynch

When I watch the lazy and self-absorbed Lacey getting all red-eyed and crying that she's trying so hard and that everyone is being so mean to her and that no one understands her and she quits for the 13th time ... I can't help thinking of her family and friends.

Traditionally, contestants on "Hell's Kitchen" do not get an early look at the shows before they air. So, there's a good chance that Lacey has spent the last several Thursday nights sitting on a couch, surrounded by family and friends as she watches her 15 minutes of fame (and butt-scratching) play out on TV. And what must they think of the portrayal?

Is it: "Gosh, that's not the Lacey we know and love! That must be some sneaky editing by Fox. How unfair!"

Or, are they secretly quoting Chef Gordon Ramsay, and thinking: "'That's spot on!'"

Personally, I hope Lacey makes it to the Top Three or Top Four. She's just good TV, causing havoc and chaos wherever she goes. She was almost as bad as J, who according to Mr. Voiceover, delivered one of the worst performances in "Hell's Kitchen" history, leading chef Ramsay to kick him out mid-service.

Elsewhere in "Hell's Kitchen," Andrea and Carol continue to duke it out, but I'm having a hard time telling -- are either of them incompetent? Or are they just acting like jerks? Also, Giovanni seemed to be anointed the front-runner by Chef Ramsay, and he definitely acted the part of the leader tonight. Thoughts?

There was one moment I'd like to see more of: Chef Ramsay guiding his underlings, as when he told Paula she was hitting the mark with her dishes: "Compose yourself, time it and get on top of it."

-- Rene Lynch

(Photo courtesy Fox)

It was the most successful dinner service so far on this season of "Hell's Kitchen," which is a good thing because it was also a basket-ball-themed bah mitzvah for a 12-year-old boy named Max. (Wouldn't you love to know who his parent's know, if you know what I mean.) It was also the most joyous event ever in "Hell's Kitchen." Did you see Chef Gordon Ramsay not only cracking a smile, but actually laughing as the legendary Harlem Globetrotters -- said to be Ramsay's surprise gift to the guest of honor -- worked the room.

Still, there were plenty of misdeeds. Mushroom risotto served without mushrooms. A dirty plate that almost made its way in front of a guest. Brisket that had gone cold. And burgers that never saw this side of hot. And that meant that someone had to pay.

Was it fair for Chef Ramsay to bring the ax down on Coi? Clearly, she cracked so badly under the pressure that she couldn't deliver a burger. (Which is sad because she seemed to have a quiet strength about her.) And several of the other women on the red team seemed to think that Andrea should have been up for "eviction." What did you think? Did Andrea pull one over on Chef Ramsay? Did the wrong person go home?

You can always count on Chef Ramsay to bust out some unintentionally laugh-out-loud lines as he becomes exasperated with his witless wards. But tonight, he had several: "I'm absolutely gobsmacked you've fallen behind on the salads!" "For God sakes' woman! We're reheating meat!" And, of course "Where's the beef?!?! WHERE'S THE BEEF!?!?"

But the best quote of the night goes to L.A., who said of Francisco, the over-the-top flamboyant party planner: "I'm gay. That dude is parade gay."

Speaking of Francisco -- that whole re-encounter with Jean-Philippe seemed staged, no? And how about the knocking over of that chocolate cake? It would just seem like Chef Ramsay would have someone's head -- literally -- on a platter if that had really happened.

--Rene Lynch 

'Hell's Kitchen': And then there were two

Stop the presses! Chef Ramsay smiled!

A near-perfect dinner service led Chef Ramsay to actually bust out a grin and praise his underlings for  "bloody great service." But that lasted all of two seconds. It was soon time to put someone on the chopping block. And it was Andrea.

Who would have predicted that quiet-as-a-church-mouse Paula and redneck Danny (his description) would be the last two chefs standing?

When the field started with 16, it looked like Ben or Giovanni or even Andrea would be among the final contestants. And Andrea nearly made it to the end through sheer willpower and despite numerous flops in the kitchen. But it all caught up with her Thursday night, when Chef Ramsay sent her packing.

The night started with visits from friends and family but quickly shifted gears into a brilliant challenge that should become a "Hell's Kitchen" mainstay: practically a who's who of Los Angeles chefs (Mark Peel, Suzanne Goin, Celestino Drago, etc.) were in Hell's Kitchen to judge the final three contestants' dishes. "Los Angeles must be starving because you're all here," Chef Ramsay joked.

Seriously though, scheduling that must have been a nightmare. But it was worth any hassle. The judging elite was unanimous: Danny's dish was the dog's dinner, and Paula's was the best. The win earned Paula a makeover, and a segment on Fox's morning show.

When the three chefs took their turns running the kitchen -- perhaps the marquee challenge in "Hell's Kitchen" -- Paula stumbled badly, as Chef Ramsay said, like a "mouse with no voice." Danny's voice cracked like a 13-year-old boy asking a girl out on a date. And Andrea overcompensated -- putting on her "assertive panties," as she put it -- and is lucky that Chef Scott didn't kill her. ("She was riding him like a donkey," Paula quipped.)

So who do you think it will be? Paula or Danny? I think Paula has the edge. I think both chefs have the skills and the smarts to be molded into Chef Ramsay's image. But Danny has had a few slip-ups, taste-wise. (And apparently more to come with the final challenge, when the chefs must open their own restaurants. To the designer's apparent horror, Danny suggests mounting fish as part of the decor.) And there's no way that Chef Ramsay can teach him that.

The single funniest moment of the night -- and perhaps of the entire season -- was the "spark" between Paula and Jean-Philippe. Do you think? Could it really be??

-- Rene Lynch

Um, can someone explain why Andrea is still in this thing?

The "Taste it, now make it" challenge kicked off the night, and victory went to Danny. Maybe it was the editing, or Danny's loudmouth ways, but who would have known that this self-described redneck would make it to the Final 3. But there he is, along with Paula -- also a bit of a surprise -- and Andrea. Andrea!

Can someone please explain why Andrea is still in this thing?

That meant Ben went home, but Ben beat Andrea hands down in the attitude department -- Chef Ramsay said as much -- and certainly was at least as bad a cook as Andrea. That's not saying much, of course, but given the choice between those two, Ben could more easily lead a kitchen of his own. And besides, this just allows Andrea to have bragging rights. And do we need her to be any more self-aggrandizing than she already is?

Does anyone else remember when Robert first walked into "Hell's Kitchen"? Didn't he claim that he'd put his wedding on hold so he could try his chance at winning a job at one of Chef Gordon Ramsay's restaurants?

If my memory turns out to be right, his fiancee is probably going to be pretty unhappy with his performance this week. And I'm not talking about the chest pains and heart ailment that forced him to ultimately bow out of the competition. I'm talking about the way he kept trying to paw the "Borgata babes," as he put it. Sheesh. It was like he'd never seen a half-dressed woman before.

Good-bye Robert, and here's hoping that you are soon on the mend (and that you can shed some of those 400 lbs. that are not helping your health.) Maybe "Hell's Kitchen" will invite you back. Dunno if you really had a shot at going the distance, but you did earn your way into the Top 5, and you stood up to Chef Ramsay and earned his respect. You were also a pretty nice guy. And you were always good for a laugh. ("You ain't a man until you use a loofah, straight up.")

Oh no! Gio!

It wasn't that long ago that Giovanni looked like the frontrunner in this game, but he's a goner after an unbelievably bad dinner service. But did he deserve the ax? Didn't it seem like he was doing well all along, and exhibited sound leadership skills? Should he really go home after one bad dinner service? Admittedly, it was more than bad, it was a horrendous dinner service. And Gio really screwed up by inexplicably placing a 500-degree pan in the fridge to cool it down -- only it ended up badly burning Robert, who had no idea it was hot.

Still, Chef Ramsay seemed a bit hard on Gio, chasing him around the kitchen, taunting him, going nose to nose and nearly headbutting him (I wonder if Chef Ramsay ever worries about getting clocked). After all that, Chef Ramsay explained it all away with a "It's not personal, it's professional." Uh-huh.

So. Do you think Ben has a chance? I bet Ben thinks so.

-- Rene Lynch

Photo credit: Fox

Who would have thought at the beginning of this season that self-described redneck Danny would rise to the top? Or that Robert would replace Lacey for sheer entertainment value. Or that in the battle between Carol vs. Andrea, that Andrea would win.

But for how long?

It's been hard to pin down whether Andrea and Carol were submarining each other, or whether they are both just lousy. But tonight, Carol was the lousier of the two and was sent packing by Chef Ramsay: "Carol knew she was out of her depth in 'Hell's Kitchen,' I just put her out of her misery."

The night got underway with the contestants serving up dishes made with king crab -- and deciding among themselves which single dish would be served up to Chef Ramsay. Not surprisingly, Ben and Andrea bulldozed to have their dishes presented to Ramsay -- and had them both dashed. Chef Ramsay then called on Paula and Danny to present their dishes, and ruled them both excellent. In the end, though, the blue team won, and the men had a day in Santa Monica while the women were stuck cleaning crabs and listening to Andrea yammer.

It all came to a head at dinner service. The men's team earned a rating of 39% above average from diners, while the women earned a rating of 54% above average. That meant the men had to pony up a player for elimination, and Danny, who was the standout, had to do the honors. He put Ben on the chopping block, but in the end Chef Ramsay shocked everyone by nixing Carol instead.

-- Rene Lynch

When I watch the lazy and self-absorbed Lacey getting all red-eyed and crying that she's trying so hard and that everyone is being so mean to her and that no one understands her and she quits for the 13th time ... I can't help thinking of her family and friends.

Traditionally, contestants on "Hell's Kitchen" do not get an early look at the shows before they air. So, there's a good chance that Lacey has spent the last several Thursday nights sitting on a couch, surrounded by family and friends as she watches her 15 minutes of fame (and butt-scratching) play out on TV. And what must they think of the portrayal?

Is it: "Gosh, that's not the Lacey we know and love! That must be some sneaky editing by Fox. How unfair!"

Or, are they secretly quoting Chef Gordon Ramsay, and thinking: "'That's spot on!'"

Personally, I hope Lacey makes it to the Top Three or Top Four. She's just good TV, causing havoc and chaos wherever she goes. She was almost as bad as J, who according to Mr. Voiceover, delivered one of the worst performances in "Hell's Kitchen" history, leading chef Ramsay to kick him out mid-service.

Elsewhere in "Hell's Kitchen," Andrea and Carol continue to duke it out, but I'm having a hard time telling -- are either of them incompetent? Or are they just acting like jerks? Also, Giovanni seemed to be anointed the front-runner by Chef Ramsay, and he definitely acted the part of the leader tonight. Thoughts?

There was one moment I'd like to see more of: Chef Ramsay guiding his underlings, as when he told Paula she was hitting the mark with her dishes: "Compose yourself, time it and get on top of it."

-- Rene Lynch

(Photo courtesy Fox)

It was the most successful dinner service so far on this season of "Hell's Kitchen," which is a good thing because it was also a basket-ball-themed bah mitzvah for a 12-year-old boy named Max. (Wouldn't you love to know who his parent's know, if you know what I mean.) It was also the most joyous event ever in "Hell's Kitchen." Did you see Chef Gordon Ramsay not only cracking a smile, but actually laughing as the legendary Harlem Globetrotters -- said to be Ramsay's surprise gift to the guest of honor -- worked the room.

Still, there were plenty of misdeeds. Mushroom risotto served without mushrooms. A dirty plate that almost made its way in front of a guest. Brisket that had gone cold. And burgers that never saw this side of hot. And that meant that someone had to pay.

Was it fair for Chef Ramsay to bring the ax down on Coi? Clearly, she cracked so badly under the pressure that she couldn't deliver a burger. (Which is sad because she seemed to have a quiet strength about her.) And several of the other women on the red team seemed to think that Andrea should have been up for "eviction." What did you think? Did Andrea pull one over on Chef Ramsay? Did the wrong person go home?

You can always count on Chef Ramsay to bust out some unintentionally laugh-out-loud lines as he becomes exasperated with his witless wards. But tonight, he had several: "I'm absolutely gobsmacked you've fallen behind on the salads!" "For God sakes' woman! We're reheating meat!" And, of course "Where's the beef?!?! WHERE'S THE BEEF!?!?"

But the best quote of the night goes to L.A., who said of Francisco, the over-the-top flamboyant party planner: "I'm gay. That dude is parade gay."

Speaking of Francisco -- that whole re-encounter with Jean-Philippe seemed staged, no? And how about the knocking over of that chocolate cake? It would just seem like Chef Ramsay would have someone's head -- literally -- on a platter if that had really happened.

--Rene Lynch 

'Hell's Kitchen': And then there were three

Um, can someone explain why Andrea is still in this thing?

The "Taste it, now make it" challenge kicked off the night, and victory went to Danny. Maybe it was the editing, or Danny's loudmouth ways, but who would have known that this self-described redneck would make it to the Final 3. But there he is, along with Paula -- also a bit of a surprise -- and Andrea. Andrea!

Can someone please explain why Andrea is still in this thing?

That meant Ben went home, but Ben beat Andrea hands down in the attitude department -- Chef Ramsay said as much -- and certainly was at least as bad a cook as Andrea. That's not saying much, of course, but given the choice between those two, Ben could more easily lead a kitchen of his own. And besides, this just allows Andrea to have bragging rights. And do we need her to be any more self-aggrandizing than she already is?

Does anyone else remember when Robert first walked into "Hell's Kitchen"? Didn't he claim that he'd put his wedding on hold so he could try his chance at winning a job at one of Chef Gordon Ramsay's restaurants?

If my memory turns out to be right, his fiancee is probably going to be pretty unhappy with his performance this week. And I'm not talking about the chest pains and heart ailment that forced him to ultimately bow out of the competition. I'm talking about the way he kept trying to paw the "Borgata babes," as he put it. Sheesh. It was like he'd never seen a half-dressed woman before.

Good-bye Robert, and here's hoping that you are soon on the mend (and that you can shed some of those 400 lbs. that are not helping your health.) Maybe "Hell's Kitchen" will invite you back. Dunno if you really had a shot at going the distance, but you did earn your way into the Top 5, and you stood up to Chef Ramsay and earned his respect. You were also a pretty nice guy. And you were always good for a laugh. ("You ain't a man until you use a loofah, straight up.")

Oh no! Gio!

It wasn't that long ago that Giovanni looked like the frontrunner in this game, but he's a goner after an unbelievably bad dinner service. But did he deserve the ax? Didn't it seem like he was doing well all along, and exhibited sound leadership skills? Should he really go home after one bad dinner service? Admittedly, it was more than bad, it was a horrendous dinner service. And Gio really screwed up by inexplicably placing a 500-degree pan in the fridge to cool it down -- only it ended up badly burning Robert, who had no idea it was hot.

Still, Chef Ramsay seemed a bit hard on Gio, chasing him around the kitchen, taunting him, going nose to nose and nearly headbutting him (I wonder if Chef Ramsay ever worries about getting clocked). After all that, Chef Ramsay explained it all away with a "It's not personal, it's professional." Uh-huh.

So. Do you think Ben has a chance? I bet Ben thinks so.

-- Rene Lynch

Photo credit: Fox

Who would have thought at the beginning of this season that self-described redneck Danny would rise to the top? Or that Robert would replace Lacey for sheer entertainment value. Or that in the battle between Carol vs. Andrea, that Andrea would win.

But for how long?

It's been hard to pin down whether Andrea and Carol were submarining each other, or whether they are both just lousy. But tonight, Carol was the lousier of the two and was sent packing by Chef Ramsay: "Carol knew she was out of her depth in 'Hell's Kitchen,' I just put her out of her misery."

The night got underway with the contestants serving up dishes made with king crab -- and deciding among themselves which single dish would be served up to Chef Ramsay. Not surprisingly, Ben and Andrea bulldozed to have their dishes presented to Ramsay -- and had them both dashed. Chef Ramsay then called on Paula and Danny to present their dishes, and ruled them both excellent. In the end, though, the blue team won, and the men had a day in Santa Monica while the women were stuck cleaning crabs and listening to Andrea yammer.

It all came to a head at dinner service. The men's team earned a rating of 39% above average from diners, while the women earned a rating of 54% above average. That meant the men had to pony up a player for elimination, and Danny, who was the standout, had to do the honors. He put Ben on the chopping block, but in the end Chef Ramsay shocked everyone by nixing Carol instead.

-- Rene Lynch

When I watch the lazy and self-absorbed Lacey getting all red-eyed and crying that she's trying so hard and that everyone is being so mean to her and that no one understands her and she quits for the 13th time ... I can't help thinking of her family and friends.

Traditionally, contestants on "Hell's Kitchen" do not get an early look at the shows before they air. So, there's a good chance that Lacey has spent the last several Thursday nights sitting on a couch, surrounded by family and friends as she watches her 15 minutes of fame (and butt-scratching) play out on TV. And what must they think of the portrayal?

Is it: "Gosh, that's not the Lacey we know and love! That must be some sneaky editing by Fox. How unfair!"

Or, are they secretly quoting Chef Gordon Ramsay, and thinking: "'That's spot on!'"

Personally, I hope Lacey makes it to the Top Three or Top Four. She's just good TV, causing havoc and chaos wherever she goes. She was almost as bad as J, who according to Mr. Voiceover, delivered one of the worst performances in "Hell's Kitchen" history, leading chef Ramsay to kick him out mid-service.

Elsewhere in "Hell's Kitchen," Andrea and Carol continue to duke it out, but I'm having a hard time telling -- are either of them incompetent? Or are they just acting like jerks? Also, Giovanni seemed to be anointed the front-runner by Chef Ramsay, and he definitely acted the part of the leader tonight. Thoughts?

There was one moment I'd like to see more of: Chef Ramsay guiding his underlings, as when he told Paula she was hitting the mark with her dishes: "Compose yourself, time it and get on top of it."

-- Rene Lynch

(Photo courtesy Fox)

It was the most successful dinner service so far on this season of "Hell's Kitchen," which is a good thing because it was also a basket-ball-themed bah mitzvah for a 12-year-old boy named Max. (Wouldn't you love to know who his parent's know, if you know what I mean.) It was also the most joyous event ever in "Hell's Kitchen." Did you see Chef Gordon Ramsay not only cracking a smile, but actually laughing as the legendary Harlem Globetrotters -- said to be Ramsay's surprise gift to the guest of honor -- worked the room.

Still, there were plenty of misdeeds. Mushroom risotto served without mushrooms. A dirty plate that almost made its way in front of a guest. Brisket that had gone cold. And burgers that never saw this side of hot. And that meant that someone had to pay.

Was it fair for Chef Ramsay to bring the ax down on Coi? Clearly, she cracked so badly under the pressure that she couldn't deliver a burger. (Which is sad because she seemed to have a quiet strength about her.) And several of the other women on the red team seemed to think that Andrea should have been up for "eviction." What did you think? Did Andrea pull one over on Chef Ramsay? Did the wrong person go home?

You can always count on Chef Ramsay to bust out some unintentionally laugh-out-loud lines as he becomes exasperated with his witless wards. But tonight, he had several: "I'm absolutely gobsmacked you've fallen behind on the salads!" "For God sakes' woman! We're reheating meat!" And, of course "Where's the beef?!?! WHERE'S THE BEEF!?!?"

But the best quote of the night goes to L.A., who said of Francisco, the over-the-top flamboyant party planner: "I'm gay. That dude is parade gay."

Speaking of Francisco -- that whole re-encounter with Jean-Philippe seemed staged, no? And how about the knocking over of that chocolate cake? It would just seem like Chef Ramsay would have someone's head -- literally -- on a platter if that had really happened.

--Rene Lynch 

'Hell's Kitchen': A farewell, and hello to the Final 4

Does anyone else remember when Robert first walked into "Hell's Kitchen"? Didn't he claim that he'd put his wedding on hold so he could try his chance at winning a job at one of Chef Gordon Ramsay's restaurants?

If my memory turns out to be right, his fiancee is probably going to be pretty unhappy with his performance this week. And I'm not talking about the chest pains and heart ailment that forced him to ultimately bow out of the competition. I'm talking about the way he kept trying to paw the "Borgata babes," as he put it. Sheesh. It was like he'd never seen a half-dressed woman before.

Good-bye Robert, and here's hoping that you are soon on the mend (and that you can shed some of those 400 lbs. that are not helping your health.) Maybe "Hell's Kitchen" will invite you back. Dunno if you really had a shot at going the distance, but you did earn your way into the Top 5, and you stood up to Chef Ramsay and earned his respect. You were also a pretty nice guy. And you were always good for a laugh. ("You ain't a man until you use a loofah, straight up.")

Oh no! Gio!

It wasn't that long ago that Giovanni looked like the frontrunner in this game, but he's a goner after an unbelievably bad dinner service. But did he deserve the ax? Didn't it seem like he was doing well all along, and exhibited sound leadership skills? Should he really go home after one bad dinner service? Admittedly, it was more than bad, it was a horrendous dinner service. And Gio really screwed up by inexplicably placing a 500-degree pan in the fridge to cool it down -- only it ended up badly burning Robert, who had no idea it was hot.

Still, Chef Ramsay seemed a bit hard on Gio, chasing him around the kitchen, taunting him, going nose to nose and nearly headbutting him (I wonder if Chef Ramsay ever worries about getting clocked). After all that, Chef Ramsay explained it all away with a "It's not personal, it's professional." Uh-huh.

So. Do you think Ben has a chance? I bet Ben thinks so.

-- Rene Lynch

Photo credit: Fox

Who would have thought at the beginning of this season that self-described redneck Danny would rise to the top? Or that Robert would replace Lacey for sheer entertainment value. Or that in the battle between Carol vs. Andrea, that Andrea would win.

But for how long?

It's been hard to pin down whether Andrea and Carol were submarining each other, or whether they are both just lousy. But tonight, Carol was the lousier of the two and was sent packing by Chef Ramsay: "Carol knew she was out of her depth in 'Hell's Kitchen,' I just put her out of her misery."

The night got underway with the contestants serving up dishes made with king crab -- and deciding among themselves which single dish would be served up to Chef Ramsay. Not surprisingly, Ben and Andrea bulldozed to have their dishes presented to Ramsay -- and had them both dashed. Chef Ramsay then called on Paula and Danny to present their dishes, and ruled them both excellent. In the end, though, the blue team won, and the men had a day in Santa Monica while the women were stuck cleaning crabs and listening to Andrea yammer.

It all came to a head at dinner service. The men's team earned a rating of 39% above average from diners, while the women earned a rating of 54% above average. That meant the men had to pony up a player for elimination, and Danny, who was the standout, had to do the honors. He put Ben on the chopping block, but in the end Chef Ramsay shocked everyone by nixing Carol instead.

-- Rene Lynch

When I watch the lazy and self-absorbed Lacey getting all red-eyed and crying that she's trying so hard and that everyone is being so mean to her and that no one understands her and she quits for the 13th time ... I can't help thinking of her family and friends.

Traditionally, contestants on "Hell's Kitchen" do not get an early look at the shows before they air. So, there's a good chance that Lacey has spent the last several Thursday nights sitting on a couch, surrounded by family and friends as she watches her 15 minutes of fame (and butt-scratching) play out on TV. And what must they think of the portrayal?

Is it: "Gosh, that's not the Lacey we know and love! That must be some sneaky editing by Fox. How unfair!"

Or, are they secretly quoting Chef Gordon Ramsay, and thinking: "'That's spot on!'"

Personally, I hope Lacey makes it to the Top Three or Top Four. She's just good TV, causing havoc and chaos wherever she goes. She was almost as bad as J, who according to Mr. Voiceover, delivered one of the worst performances in "Hell's Kitchen" history, leading chef Ramsay to kick him out mid-service.

Elsewhere in "Hell's Kitchen," Andrea and Carol continue to duke it out, but I'm having a hard time telling -- are either of them incompetent? Or are they just acting like jerks? Also, Giovanni seemed to be anointed the front-runner by Chef Ramsay, and he definitely acted the part of the leader tonight. Thoughts?

There was one moment I'd like to see more of: Chef Ramsay guiding his underlings, as when he told Paula she was hitting the mark with her dishes: "Compose yourself, time it and get on top of it."

-- Rene Lynch

(Photo courtesy Fox)

It was the most successful dinner service so far on this season of "Hell's Kitchen," which is a good thing because it was also a basket-ball-themed bah mitzvah for a 12-year-old boy named Max. (Wouldn't you love to know who his parent's know, if you know what I mean.) It was also the most joyous event ever in "Hell's Kitchen." Did you see Chef Gordon Ramsay not only cracking a smile, but actually laughing as the legendary Harlem Globetrotters -- said to be Ramsay's surprise gift to the guest of honor -- worked the room.

Still, there were plenty of misdeeds. Mushroom risotto served without mushrooms. A dirty plate that almost made its way in front of a guest. Brisket that had gone cold. And burgers that never saw this side of hot. And that meant that someone had to pay.

Was it fair for Chef Ramsay to bring the ax down on Coi? Clearly, she cracked so badly under the pressure that she couldn't deliver a burger. (Which is sad because she seemed to have a quiet strength about her.) And several of the other women on the red team seemed to think that Andrea should have been up for "eviction." What did you think? Did Andrea pull one over on Chef Ramsay? Did the wrong person go home?

You can always count on Chef Ramsay to bust out some unintentionally laugh-out-loud lines as he becomes exasperated with his witless wards. But tonight, he had several: "I'm absolutely gobsmacked you've fallen behind on the salads!" "For God sakes' woman! We're reheating meat!" And, of course "Where's the beef?!?! WHERE'S THE BEEF!?!?"

But the best quote of the night goes to L.A., who said of Francisco, the over-the-top flamboyant party planner: "I'm gay. That dude is parade gay."

Speaking of Francisco -- that whole re-encounter with Jean-Philippe seemed staged, no? And how about the knocking over of that chocolate cake? It would just seem like Chef Ramsay would have someone's head -- literally -- on a platter if that had really happened.

--Rene Lynch 

'Hell's Kitchen': Definitely didn't see that one coming

Oh no! Gio!

It wasn't that long ago that Giovanni looked like the frontrunner in this game, but he's a goner after an unbelievably bad dinner service. But did he deserve the ax? Didn't it seem like he was doing well all along, and exhibited sound leadership skills? Should he really go home after one bad dinner service? Admittedly, it was more than bad, it was a horrendous dinner service. And Gio really screwed up by inexplicably placing a 500-degree pan in the fridge to cool it down -- only it ended up badly burning Robert, who had no idea it was hot.

Still, Chef Ramsay seemed a bit hard on Gio, chasing him around the kitchen, taunting him, going nose to nose and nearly headbutting him (I wonder if Chef Ramsay ever worries about getting clocked). After all that, Chef Ramsay explained it all away with a "It's not personal, it's professional." Uh-huh.

So. Do you think Ben has a chance? I bet Ben thinks so.

-- Rene Lynch

Photo credit: Fox

Who would have thought at the beginning of this season that self-described redneck Danny would rise to the top? Or that Robert would replace Lacey for sheer entertainment value. Or that in the battle between Carol vs. Andrea, that Andrea would win.

But for how long?

It's been hard to pin down whether Andrea and Carol were submarining each other, or whether they are both just lousy. But tonight, Carol was the lousier of the two and was sent packing by Chef Ramsay: "Carol knew she was out of her depth in 'Hell's Kitchen,' I just put her out of her misery."

The night got underway with the contestants serving up dishes made with king crab -- and deciding among themselves which single dish would be served up to Chef Ramsay. Not surprisingly, Ben and Andrea bulldozed to have their dishes presented to Ramsay -- and had them both dashed. Chef Ramsay then called on Paula and Danny to present their dishes, and ruled them both excellent. In the end, though, the blue team won, and the men had a day in Santa Monica while the women were stuck cleaning crabs and listening to Andrea yammer.

It all came to a head at dinner service. The men's team earned a rating of 39% above average from diners, while the women earned a rating of 54% above average. That meant the men had to pony up a player for elimination, and Danny, who was the standout, had to do the honors. He put Ben on the chopping block, but in the end Chef Ramsay shocked everyone by nixing Carol instead.

-- Rene Lynch

When I watch the lazy and self-absorbed Lacey getting all red-eyed and crying that she's trying so hard and that everyone is being so mean to her and that no one understands her and she quits for the 13th time ... I can't help thinking of her family and friends.

Traditionally, contestants on "Hell's Kitchen" do not get an early look at the shows before they air. So, there's a good chance that Lacey has spent the last several Thursday nights sitting on a couch, surrounded by family and friends as she watches her 15 minutes of fame (and butt-scratching) play out on TV. And what must they think of the portrayal?

Is it: "Gosh, that's not the Lacey we know and love! That must be some sneaky editing by Fox. How unfair!"

Or, are they secretly quoting Chef Gordon Ramsay, and thinking: "'That's spot on!'"

Personally, I hope Lacey makes it to the Top Three or Top Four. She's just good TV, causing havoc and chaos wherever she goes. She was almost as bad as J, who according to Mr. Voiceover, delivered one of the worst performances in "Hell's Kitchen" history, leading chef Ramsay to kick him out mid-service.

Elsewhere in "Hell's Kitchen," Andrea and Carol continue to duke it out, but I'm having a hard time telling -- are either of them incompetent? Or are they just acting like jerks? Also, Giovanni seemed to be anointed the front-runner by Chef Ramsay, and he definitely acted the part of the leader tonight. Thoughts?

There was one moment I'd like to see more of: Chef Ramsay guiding his underlings, as when he told Paula she was hitting the mark with her dishes: "Compose yourself, time it and get on top of it."

-- Rene Lynch

(Photo courtesy Fox)

It was the most successful dinner service so far on this season of "Hell's Kitchen," which is a good thing because it was also a basket-ball-themed bah mitzvah for a 12-year-old boy named Max. (Wouldn't you love to know who his parent's know, if you know what I mean.) It was also the most joyous event ever in "Hell's Kitchen." Did you see Chef Gordon Ramsay not only cracking a smile, but actually laughing as the legendary Harlem Globetrotters -- said to be Ramsay's surprise gift to the guest of honor -- worked the room.

Still, there were plenty of misdeeds. Mushroom risotto served without mushrooms. A dirty plate that almost made its way in front of a guest. Brisket that had gone cold. And burgers that never saw this side of hot. And that meant that someone had to pay.

Was it fair for Chef Ramsay to bring the ax down on Coi? Clearly, she cracked so badly under the pressure that she couldn't deliver a burger. (Which is sad because she seemed to have a quiet strength about her.) And several of the other women on the red team seemed to think that Andrea should have been up for "eviction." What did you think? Did Andrea pull one over on Chef Ramsay? Did the wrong person go home?

You can always count on Chef Ramsay to bust out some unintentionally laugh-out-loud lines as he becomes exasperated with his witless wards. But tonight, he had several: "I'm absolutely gobsmacked you've fallen behind on the salads!" "For God sakes' woman! We're reheating meat!" And, of course "Where's the beef?!?! WHERE'S THE BEEF!?!?"

But the best quote of the night goes to L.A., who said of Francisco, the over-the-top flamboyant party planner: "I'm gay. That dude is parade gay."

Speaking of Francisco -- that whole re-encounter with Jean-Philippe seemed staged, no? And how about the knocking over of that chocolate cake? It would just seem like Chef Ramsay would have someone's head -- literally -- on a platter if that had really happened.

--Rene Lynch 

'Hell's Kitchen': Just put her out of her misery

Who would have thought at the beginning of this season that self-described redneck Danny would rise to the top? Or that Robert would replace Lacey for sheer entertainment value. Or that in the battle between Carol vs. Andrea, that Andrea would win.

But for how long?

It's been hard to pin down whether Andrea and Carol were submarining each other, or whether they are both just lousy. But tonight, Carol was the lousier of the two and was sent packing by Chef Ramsay: "Carol knew she was out of her depth in 'Hell's Kitchen,' I just put her out of her misery."

The night got underway with the contestants serving up dishes made with king crab -- and deciding among themselves which single dish would be served up to Chef Ramsay. Not surprisingly, Ben and Andrea bulldozed to have their dishes presented to Ramsay -- and had them both dashed. Chef Ramsay then called on Paula and Danny to present their dishes, and ruled them both excellent. In the end, though, the blue team won, and the men had a day in Santa Monica while the women were stuck cleaning crabs and listening to Andrea yammer.

It all came to a head at dinner service. The men's team earned a rating of 39% above average from diners, while the women earned a rating of 54% above average. That meant the men had to pony up a player for elimination, and Danny, who was the standout, had to do the honors. He put Ben on the chopping block, but in the end Chef Ramsay shocked everyone by nixing Carol instead.

-- Rene Lynch

When I watch the lazy and self-absorbed Lacey getting all red-eyed and crying that she's trying so hard and that everyone is being so mean to her and that no one understands her and she quits for the 13th time ... I can't help thinking of her family and friends.

Traditionally, contestants on "Hell's Kitchen" do not get an early look at the shows before they air. So, there's a good chance that Lacey has spent the last several Thursday nights sitting on a couch, surrounded by family and friends as she watches her 15 minutes of fame (and butt-scratching) play out on TV. And what must they think of the portrayal?

Is it: "Gosh, that's not the Lacey we know and love! That must be some sneaky editing by Fox. How unfair!"

Or, are they secretly quoting Chef Gordon Ramsay, and thinking: "'That's spot on!'"

Personally, I hope Lacey makes it to the Top Three or Top Four. She's just good TV, causing havoc and chaos wherever she goes. She was almost as bad as J, who according to Mr. Voiceover, delivered one of the worst performances in "Hell's Kitchen" history, leading chef Ramsay to kick him out mid-service.

Elsewhere in "Hell's Kitchen," Andrea and Carol continue to duke it out, but I'm having a hard time telling -- are either of them incompetent? Or are they just acting like jerks? Also, Giovanni seemed to be anointed the front-runner by Chef Ramsay, and he definitely acted the part of the leader tonight. Thoughts?

There was one moment I'd like to see more of: Chef Ramsay guiding his underlings, as when he told Paula she was hitting the mark with her dishes: "Compose yourself, time it and get on top of it."

-- Rene Lynch

(Photo courtesy Fox)

It was the most successful dinner service so far on this season of "Hell's Kitchen," which is a good thing because it was also a basket-ball-themed bah mitzvah for a 12-year-old boy named Max. (Wouldn't you love to know who his parent's know, if you know what I mean.) It was also the most joyous event ever in "Hell's Kitchen." Did you see Chef Gordon Ramsay not only cracking a smile, but actually laughing as the legendary Harlem Globetrotters -- said to be Ramsay's surprise gift to the guest of honor -- worked the room.

Still, there were plenty of misdeeds. Mushroom risotto served without mushrooms. A dirty plate that almost made its way in front of a guest. Brisket that had gone cold. And burgers that never saw this side of hot. And that meant that someone had to pay.

Was it fair for Chef Ramsay to bring the ax down on Coi? Clearly, she cracked so badly under the pressure that she couldn't deliver a burger. (Which is sad because she seemed to have a quiet strength about her.) And several of the other women on the red team seemed to think that Andrea should have been up for "eviction." What did you think? Did Andrea pull one over on Chef Ramsay? Did the wrong person go home?

You can always count on Chef Ramsay to bust out some unintentionally laugh-out-loud lines as he becomes exasperated with his witless wards. But tonight, he had several: "I'm absolutely gobsmacked you've fallen behind on the salads!" "For God sakes' woman! We're reheating meat!" And, of course "Where's the beef?!?! WHERE'S THE BEEF!?!?"

But the best quote of the night goes to L.A., who said of Francisco, the over-the-top flamboyant party planner: "I'm gay. That dude is parade gay."

Speaking of Francisco -- that whole re-encounter with Jean-Philippe seemed staged, no? And how about the knocking over of that chocolate cake? It would just seem like Chef Ramsay would have someone's head -- literally -- on a platter if that had really happened.

--Rene Lynch 

'Hell's Kitchen': Everybody hates Lacey, Take 27

When I watch the lazy and self-absorbed Lacey getting all red-eyed and crying that she's trying so hard and that everyone is being so mean to her and that no one understands her and she quits for the 13th time ... I can't help thinking of her family and friends.

Traditionally, contestants on "Hell's Kitchen" do not get an early look at the shows before they air. So, there's a good chance that Lacey has spent the last several Thursday nights sitting on a couch, surrounded by family and friends as she watches her 15 minutes of fame (and butt-scratching) play out on TV. And what must they think of the portrayal?

Is it: "Gosh, that's not the Lacey we know and love! That must be some sneaky editing by Fox. How unfair!"

Or, are they secretly quoting Chef Gordon Ramsay, and thinking: "'That's spot on!'"

Personally, I hope Lacey makes it to the Top Three or Top Four. She's just good TV, causing havoc and chaos wherever she goes. She was almost as bad as J, who according to Mr. Voiceover, delivered one of the worst performances in "Hell's Kitchen" history, leading chef Ramsay to kick him out mid-service.

Elsewhere in "Hell's Kitchen," Andrea and Carol continue to duke it out, but I'm having a hard time telling -- are either of them incompetent? Or are they just acting like jerks? Also, Giovanni seemed to be anointed the front-runner by Chef Ramsay, and he definitely acted the part of the leader tonight. Thoughts?

There was one moment I'd like to see more of: Chef Ramsay guiding his underlings, as when he told Paula she was hitting the mark with her dishes: "Compose yourself, time it and get on top of it."

-- Rene Lynch

(Photo courtesy Fox)

It was the most successful dinner service so far on this season of "Hell's Kitchen," which is a good thing because it was also a basket-ball-themed bah mitzvah for a 12-year-old boy named Max. (Wouldn't you love to know who his parent's know, if you know what I mean.) It was also the most joyous event ever in "Hell's Kitchen." Did you see Chef Gordon Ramsay not only cracking a smile, but actually laughing as the legendary Harlem Globetrotters -- said to be Ramsay's surprise gift to the guest of honor -- worked the room.

Still, there were plenty of misdeeds. Mushroom risotto served without mushrooms. A dirty plate that almost made its way in front of a guest. Brisket that had gone cold. And burgers that never saw this side of hot. And that meant that someone had to pay.

Was it fair for Chef Ramsay to bring the ax down on Coi? Clearly, she cracked so badly under the pressure that she couldn't deliver a burger. (Which is sad because she seemed to have a quiet strength about her.) And several of the other women on the red team seemed to think that Andrea should have been up for "eviction." What did you think? Did Andrea pull one over on Chef Ramsay? Did the wrong person go home?

You can always count on Chef Ramsay to bust out some unintentionally laugh-out-loud lines as he becomes exasperated with his witless wards. But tonight, he had several: "I'm absolutely gobsmacked you've fallen behind on the salads!" "For God sakes' woman! We're reheating meat!" And, of course "Where's the beef?!?! WHERE'S THE BEEF!?!?"

But the best quote of the night goes to L.A., who said of Francisco, the over-the-top flamboyant party planner: "I'm gay. That dude is parade gay."

Speaking of Francisco -- that whole re-encounter with Jean-Philippe seemed staged, no? And how about the knocking over of that chocolate cake? It would just seem like Chef Ramsay would have someone's head -- literally -- on a platter if that had really happened.

--Rene Lynch 

'Hell's Kitchen': 'Where's the beef!?!'

It was the most successful dinner service so far on this season of "Hell's Kitchen," which is a good thing because it was also a basket-ball-themed bah mitzvah for a 12-year-old boy named Max. (Wouldn't you love to know who his parent's know, if you know what I mean.) It was also the most joyous event ever in "Hell's Kitchen." Did you see Chef Gordon Ramsay not only cracking a smile, but actually laughing as the legendary Harlem Globetrotters -- said to be Ramsay's surprise gift to the guest of honor -- worked the room.

Still, there were plenty of misdeeds. Mushroom risotto served without mushrooms. A dirty plate that almost made its way in front of a guest. Brisket that had gone cold. And burgers that never saw this side of hot. And that meant that someone had to pay.

Was it fair for Chef Ramsay to bring the ax down on Coi? Clearly, she cracked so badly under the pressure that she couldn't deliver a burger. (Which is sad because she seemed to have a quiet strength about her.) And several of the other women on the red team seemed to think that Andrea should have been up for "eviction." What did you think? Did Andrea pull one over on Chef Ramsay? Did the wrong person go home?

You can always count on Chef Ramsay to bust out some unintentionally laugh-out-loud lines as he becomes exasperated with his witless wards. But tonight, he had several: "I'm absolutely gobsmacked you've fallen behind on the salads!" "For God sakes' woman! We're reheating meat!" And, of course "Where's the beef?!?! WHERE'S THE BEEF!?!?"

But the best quote of the night goes to L.A., who said of Francisco, the over-the-top flamboyant party planner: "I'm gay. That dude is parade gay."

Speaking of Francisco -- that whole re-encounter with Jean-Philippe seemed staged, no? And how about the knocking over of that chocolate cake? It would just seem like Chef Ramsay would have someone's head -- literally -- on a platter if that had really happened.

--Rene Lynch