Category: David Letterman

Late Night: Johnny Depp says, 'I'm a huge Belieber'

JohnnyDeppJustinBieberStory
Johnny Depp once again channels the ghost of his dear departed pal Hunter S. Thompson in "The Rum Diary," which lands in theaters Friday. Depp claims that Thompson's spirit is with him "24 hours a day," but it looks like another celebrity may finally have captured his heart: Justin Bieber.

On Thursday, Depp paid a visit to "The Late Show" -- the only late-night show he does anymore -- wearing the same moth-eaten felt hat he wore during his appearance this January (a good luck charm, perhaps?).

In one of those obviously prepared conversational cues, Letterman asked if Depp's daughter likes Justin Bieber. "Oh yeah, she does. But I'm not sure anyone's daughter doesn't," he said, his voice lilting as if he were from County Donegal, Ireland. "I've met the young man. Very sweet kid."

Depp described the odd experience of taking his daughter, Lily Rose, to see Bieber in concert. Her dad being a huge movie star and all, she also got to meet the teen idol, and young Lily Rose was starstruck. "It was quite astonishing to see your child in this kind of like frozen..." Depp trailed off.

"Do you remember when you were her age, having somebody with that effect on yourself?" Letterman asked.

"No," he replied.

But that doesn't mean grown-up Depp isn't a huge Bieber fan. At a recent news conference, a journalist asked him if he was a "Belieber."  "I was confused and then -- a-ha -- synapse fired and I said, 'Oh yes, of course, I'm a huge Belieber. And then, about 3.5 seconds later, to the right of the room, Justin Bieber enters."

"Now how'd they do that?" Letterman wondered.

Depp, too, was mystified by the power of the Biebs.  "Exactly. I don't know if we summoned him up... He was just there."

 

RELATED:

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'The Rum Diary': Johnny Depp always mindful of Hunter S. Thompson

Indie Focus: 'The Rum Diary' pours forth anew

-- Meredith Blake
Twitter.com/MeredithBlake

Photo: Justin Bieber, left, and Johnny Depp. Credit: Charles Eshelman/Getty Images, left, and Tony Gentile / Reuters.

 

Late Night: Bill O'Reilly reluctantly high-fives David Letterman

Bill O'Reilly

David Letterman has never been shy about his dislike for Bill O'Reilly. In O'Reilly's previous "Late Show" appearances, Letterman has called the Fox News host "a goon" and suggested that "60% of what you say is crap." But last night, the longtime adversaries finally found something they could agree on: The war in Iraq never should have happened.

It all began when O'Reilly explained that Dick Cheney refuses to appear on his show because "he thinks I'm a punk, essentially."

"I think Cheney is a punk," Letterman countered.

Given the opportunity, O'Reilly would like to confront Cheney about his now-infamous assertion that the U.S. would be greeted as liberators in Iraq. "Were you wrong? Why was the assessment this way?"  

Letterman agreed, and pushed O'Reilly even further: "Also, we didn't really solve the problem of terrorism. In fact we made Iraq a hotbed of terrorism that heretofore likely wasn't a hotbed of terrorism."

Somewhat miraculously, O'Reilly agreed that the war was "something that should not have happened in hindsight," but he also justified his support for it. "All the reportage was that Saddam Hussein did have these weapons," he said.

Letterman didn't want his rhetorical victory to go unacknowledged, stood up and asked O'Reilly to give him a high-five. "C'mon! Up high! Get up here! C'mon, Billy, let's go!" he taunted.

O'Reilly clearly was not amused. "We're having a good conversation, sit down," he ordered, sounding like a short-tempered dad quelling a car full of rowdy kids. "I'm not high-fiving you on a war."

But when the audience started booing, O'Reilly stood up and gave Letterman what might have been the least enthusiastic high-five in history. It was hardly a "Kumbaya" moment, but it still felt like a milestone.

 

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Late Night: Bill Clinton: Occupy Wall Street is 'a positive thing'

Late Night: Tracy Morgan explains his homophobic rant (again)

Late Night: David Letterman really enjoys Chris Christie fat jokes

— Meredith Blake
twitter.com/MeredithBlake

Photo: Bill O'Reilly. Credit: Carolyn Cole / Los Angeles Times

 

Late Night: Bill Clinton: Occupy Wall Street is 'a positive thing'

Bill Clinton talks to David Letterman about the 'Occupy Wall Street' protests

Former president Bill Clinton paid a visit to "The Late Show" last night, where he expounded on subjects as wide-ranging as the benefits of a vegan diet and the Chinese appetite for American debt.

But the majority of his appearance (which is worth watching in full here, if you're willing to do a little fast-forwarding) was devoted to a discussion of the growing Occupy Wall Street movement. Clinton thinks that the protests are "on balance...a positive thing," but worried about the nebulousness of the cause.

"They need to be for something specific, and not just against something because if you're just against something, someone else will fill the vacuum you create," he said. Clinton suggested the protesters get behind President Obama's jobs plan, which he claimed would create "a couple million jobs in the next year and a half."

PHOTOS: 'Occupy' protests

Letterman wondered why so many Americans, even those who are struggling financially, are reluctant to raise taxes on the super-rich. Clinton suggested that many of them had bought into "this sort of anti-government line that's been dominating our politics for the last 30 years."

"It's just not true that government's always the problem," Clinton said.

He also balked at the idea that the protesters are animated by jealousy: "I don't think that many Americans resent the success of people who make a lot of money fairly earned. I think what bothers people is that the country has gotten so much more unequal over the last 30 years."

Letterman suggested that it's only natural for those who are "struggling financially" to want the wealthy to contribute more. "I'm always looking to blame somebody," he joked. "Isn't that human nature?"

Clinton disagreed. "Not really. One of the best things about Americans is we don't really resent other people's success."

"Well, what about Leno?" Letterman asked, laughing at his own joke.

"There's an exception to every rule," Clinton replied.

 

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Occupy Wall Street cool to celebrities' visit

— Meredith Blake
twitter.com/MeredithBlake

Photo: Bill Clinton speaks during the 2011 Clinton Global Citizen Award ceremony on September 22, 2011. Credit: Eduardo Munoz / Reuters

Late Night: Tracy Morgan explains his homophobic rant (again)

TracymorganStory
"What happened?" David Letterman asked Tracy Morgan on Monday's "Late Show."

Of course, Letterman was referring to the homophobic rant Morgan unleashed onstage this summer in Tennessee.

Morgan seemed tired of discussing the subject. "At the end of the day, I'm a comedian. I try to use the gift God gave me to help the world, to heal the world, not to hurt anyone," he said. 

He also claimed that he, too, bore some psychic wounds as a result of the incident. "I was hurt by it because people came to the show and were bummed out."

Letterman, who's nothing if not a relentless interrogator, wasn't going to let his guest off that easily. "What were people upset about?"

Morgan explained that his brand of comedy may be less direct than what his audience was used to. "Comedy Central is premise, set-up, punchline. But I came up under the old regime .... Sometimes I have to get to it."

Letterman pushed him once again. "Did you not say what they were upset about?"

"I can't remember. That was maybe 50 shows ago," Morgan replied. "Whatever it was, I do comedy in the spirit of Richard Pryor, Lenny Bruce, George Carlin, and all the people like yourself that came before me."

Letterman laughed at the comparison, but ultimately expressed his sympathy for Morgan. "Nobody has made more apologies in his lifetime than me," he said.

 

RELATED:

Tracy Morgan's rant: Offensive or forgivable?

Tracy Morgan's apology: Takes two, three and four

Tracy Morgan apologizes, then tries out a different offensive rant

-- Meredith Blake

twitter.com/MeredithBlake

Photo: Tracy Morgan. Credit: Art Streiber / NBC.

Late Night: David Letterman really enjoys Chris Christie fat jokes

Chris Christie
As of this morning, Chris Christie is still not running for president, and no one, it seems, is more disappointed than David Letterman.

On Tuesday night's "Late Show," Letterman expressed his hope that the first-term New Jersey governor would make a bid for the White House. It's not that he supports Christie's policies -- he just really, really likes making jokes about Christie's hefty physique.

As he told bandleader Paul Schaffer, Letterman wants Christie to run because "I want to be able to say, meaningfully, 'Bring it, fat boy!' If you can't honestly say, 'Bring it, fat boy!' then the terrorists have won."

Christie's weight -- which Letterman estimated was "close to 400 pounds" -- was the inspiration for the night's top-10 list: "Ways the country would be different if Chris Christie were president."

Even for Letterman, who's never been known for his kind, cuddly sense of humor, the list was mean-spirited -- and a touch juvenile. Consider No. 8: "The cabinet will now have a Secretary of Cake," or No. 7, "New state: Fatassachusetts." For the record, this is hardly the first time that Letterman has made cruel fat jokes -- just ask Kirstie Alley

What do you think? Is Christie's weight fair game, or did Letterman cross the line?

 

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-- Meredith Blake
Twitter.com/MeredithBlake

Photo: New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie delivers remarks Tuesday at the Ronald Reagan Library and Museum in Simi Valley, Calif. Credit: Kevork Djansezian / Getty Images

Late Night: Sofia Vergara's family thinks Emmys are beauty pageant

'Modern Family's' Sofia Vergara at the Emmy Awards

Sofia Vergara may have lost at the Emmys on Sunday night, but to her family back in Colombia she was the clear winner--but then again, they're not entirely clear what the awards are for.

On Thursday's "Late Show," David Letterman asked Vergara about "Modern Family's" awards sweep. (Or, as he put it, "The family show did great with your Emmy awards.") "You had your family and friends all there?" he wondered.

"Yeah, of course, everybody from Colombia wants to come and join," she said.

"How many family members do you have?" he asked.

Slightly confused, Vergara responded with a question of her own. "How many I have? I think like more than 400." Not to worry, though; she had only 13 of them with her on Sunday. "They did the red carpet with me, they met everybody from my show, it was fantastic."

Though Vergara was happy to see castmate Julie Bowen take home the award for supporting actress in a comedy, her family was not quite as gracious in defeat. "They don't understand. They start calling me from Colombia. They like, 'Why you didn't win?' They really think it's a beauty pageant," she said. "So they're like, your dress was the best, and the hair, by far."

So, wait: This mean awards shows aren't just beauty contests? Who knew?

 

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--Meredith Blake

twitter.com/MeredithBlake

Photo: Sofia Vergara at the 63rd Annual Prime Time Emmy Awards Show on September 18, 2011. Credit: Jay L. Clendenin / Los Angeles Times

Late Night: Julianna Margulies on 'steamy' premiere of 'The Good Wife'

JuliannamarguilesStory
Fans of "The Good Wife," listen up! Julianna Margulies paid a visit to "The Late Show With David Letterman" on Thursday night, where she dropped some enticing hints about the show's season premiere on Sept. 25.

In case you'd forgotten, last season ended with Margulies' character, Alicia, heading into a hotel room with her longtime crush, Will. From the sound of it, the premiere picks up right where the finale left off. 

"There's a very steamy scene and it's a bit steamy, I have to say," Margulies said.

Letterman perked up at the repeated mention of the word "steamy." "Now, when you say 'steamy,' and you said it twice, I'm inclined to believe you that it's steamy. I guess I don't know what 'steam' is. Nudity?" he wondered.

Sorry, Dave. As Margulies explained, the episode will only include partial nudity.

Crack journalist that he is, Letterman pushed for more information. "Well, could we see, like a butt? Could we or not? Could we?"

"I think you can see a butt, but I don't know if you can see a whole butt," said Margulies, seemingly amused by Letterman's prurient line of questioning. "You're going to see a lot of thigh, and a lot of intimations."

"A lot of what?" Letterman asked, his glasses coated in a layer of condensation (or so it seemed).

So just how "steamy" is the sex scene? Well, here's a good indication: This is the first time that Margulies has told her husband not to watch. "It might just be too steamy," she warned him.

"Now everybody will tune in," Letterman predicted.

Mission accomplished.

 

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--Meredith Blake

twitter.com/MeredithBlake

Photo: Julianna Margulies. Credit: Carolyn Cole / Los Angeles Times.

Late Night: David Arquette talks about Courteney Cox

David Arquette and Courteney Cox

Recently announced "Dancing With the Stars" cast member David Arquette paid a visit to "The Late Show" Wednesday night, where he dutifully plugged the dancing-competition show and praised Rob Kardashian's rear end. But all David Letterman wanted to talk about was Arquette's tumultuous relationship with Courteney Cox.

Never one to refrain from asking pointed, awkward questions, Letterman dove right in: "How's Courteney Cox?"

"Courtney's fantastic. We're still separated," Arquette replied. "But we're best friends, and it's really sweet. I mean, we grew apart."

Letterman continued to pry away, asking whether Arquette hoped to reconcile with his estranged wife.

"I love her with all my heart, but we have compatibility issues. I'm like wild and crazy, she's really calm, and that really sort of started becoming apparent after 11 years. And she thinks I'm moody," he explained, affecting an angry tone of voice. "But I'm not moody, Dave!"

 

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-- Meredith Blake
Twitter.com/MeredithBlake

Photo: David Arquette, left, and Courteney Cox. Credit: Associated Press, Getty Images.

Late Night: How Jason Sudeikis prepared for Hurricane Irene

Jason Sudeikis

For Jason Sudeikis, like most New York City residents, Hurricane Irene turned out to be a non-event. And that's a good thing, considering how little he did to prepare for the storm.

"I'm a former Boy Scout, so I take that stuff seriously," Sudeikis told David Letterman on Monday's "Late Show." "I got two bottles of water -- like the big ones, not the little ones. With the squirt top. And some, uh, chips and salsa. I was ready. Bring it on."

"How is that different than any other weekend for you?" Letterman wondered.

"Not too different," Sudeikis admitted. He went on to compare the hurricane -- in a way that’d make weathercasters blush -- to the Gay Pride Parade.

Ahem.

 

RELATED:

Godnight, Irene: A hurricane diary

Photos: In the path of Hurricane Irene

-- Meredith Blake

twitter.com/MeredithBlake

Late Night: Paul Rudd hitchhikes to the airport

Paul Rudd, who recently had to hitchhike
The next time you see a hitchhiker on the side of the highway, you may want to slow down for a closer look -- because that person you're sure is a serial killer might actually be Paul Rudd.

On Thursday's episode of "The Late Show," the star of "Our Idiot Brother" shared an amusing story about a recent business trip gone awry. En route to JFK, the town car in which Rudd was traveling broke down. Stranded along the Van Wyck Expressway in the middle of dense traffic, Rudd was unable to hail a cab. Desperate to catch his flight, Rudd did what any other self-respecting, moderately famous movie star would do: He decided to thumb it.

Believe it or not, someone was crazy enough to pick up a hitchhiker in New York City -- or maybe just eagle-eyed enough to recognize the handsome actor on the side of the road -- and he made it to the airport on time.

Rudd wanted to do something nice to show his appreciation for Allie Brown, the young woman in question. "I would love it if I could offer her something really cool and interesting like a walk-on part to a movie I was working on. But I realize I don't have that kind of juice," Rudd joked.

So he settled for the next best thing: a walk-on to his "Late Show" interview. After a brief intro, Ms. Brown came out on stage and gave a sweet, bashful wave to the audience.

Host David Letterman wasn't too impressed by Rudd's gesture of thanks. "You can make the rest up in cash," he suggested.

Rudd seemed to agree. "I probably should have gotten her like a gift certificate or something."

 

RELATED:

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Late Night: David Letterman revels in death threats

David Letterman death threat posted on jihadist website

-- Meredith Blake

Photo: Paul Rudd attends a screening of 'Our Idiot Brother' Aug. 22, 2011, in New York. Credit: Evan Agostini / Associated Press

Late Night: Ashton Kutcher thinks new 'Two and a Half Men' will be a smash

Ashton-kutcher-letterman1

Charlie who? In an appearance on "The Late Show" last night, Ashton Kutcher told David Letterman that he's feeling pretty bullish about the revamped version of "Two and a Half Men," which returns to CBS next month.

Kutcher took to the stage wearing a flak jacket and helmet, a joke about recent threats made against Letterman, but talk quickly turned to the subject of Kutcher's new gig on the hit comedy.

"From the beginning I always said this is a tremendous combination, because you take the established show, you take a nice, young, likable, entertaining fellow like yourself, you put them together and it's going to go through the roof," Letterman said.

Naturally, Kutcher agreed. "I think it's going to go through the roof, I really do. I've been laughing really hard."

Kutcher expressed his delight at returning to sitcom work, 5 years after the end of "That '70s Show." "How great it is to go to work every day and make people laugh?"

Elsewhere in the interview (which you can see in its entirety here, if you're willing to fast-forward), Kutcher praised Sheen as a "lingual genius," while Letterman opted to poke a little fun. "Do you prefer strippers or porn stars?" he asked Kutcher, who dodged the question with a deadly earnest answer. "I have a foundation that fights human trafficking," he said. 

 

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Will 'Two and a Half Men' kill off Charlie Sheen's character?

-- Meredith Blake

twitter.com/MeredithBlake

 Photo: Ashton Kutcher visits "The Late Show." AP

Late Night: David Letterman revels in death threats [video]

David Letterman jokes about the death threats made against him by a Muslim extremist

Most performers thrive on adoration, but David Letterman always seems to be funnier when someone's hatin' on him. On Monday night, "The Late Show" host returned to the stage at Ed Sullivan Theater for the first time since an Internet jihadist threatened to cut out his tongue. Letterman seemed pretty unfazed by the "fat-wah" placed on his head. In fact, he seemed to delight in the whole ordeal.

Letterman began his monologue by showing his appreciation for his audience members. "You people are more than an audience tonight, really. You're more like a human shield." He claimed that he was late because "backstage I was talking to the guy from CBS. We were going through the CBS life-insurance policy to see if I was covered for jihad."

Letterman sounded a self-deprecating note, joking that "a guy, a radical extremist, threatened to cut my tongue out. I wish I had a nickel for every time a guy has threatened [that]... I think the first time was during the Academy Awards."

But he also managed to take a shot at his long-time nemesis, Jay Leno. "State department authorities are looking into this. They're not taking this lightly. There's an electronic trail there...but everybody knows it's Leno."

Letterman, whose comments about the death of alleged Al Qaeda leader Ilyas Kashmiri provoked the ire of Internet extremists, suggested they were being overly sensitive. "A guy gets assassinated, you can't tell a couple of jokes?"

"I take full responsibility for the joke. I'm a big boy. I told the joke. But you know the guy who wrote it? That guy," Letterman said, as the cameras cut to a show of "Late Show" writer Bill Scheft, looking panicked.

The monologue concluded with an exhaustive list of "Who Hates Dave." Among the names: Sarah Palin, Donald Trump, Dave's mailman, Canada.

But not us, Dave! While we'd hate to see anything bad happen to Letterman, let's put it this way: Death threats do wonders for his comedy.

Click here to see the Top Ten list, which also covered the subject.

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-- Meredith Blake
twitter.com/MeredithBlake

Photo: David Letterman in March 2011. Credit: Jessica Rinaldi / Reuters

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