'Dancing With the Stars' results: Two for the road

Alas, guess we’ll never be able to see that awesome waltz that Louie promised. At the end of Season Nine's sixth week, it was actress Melissa Joan Hart and Mark Ballas who ended up with the lowest combined point total and were booted from the show. But wait, there's more: Because it was yet another round of the dreaded double elimination, snowboarder Louie Vito and Chelsie Hightower also got iced out of the competition as the losing half in the first-ever dance-off of the season. Though I don’t think anyone was much surprised by either of those exits. Melissa was plagued with zero dance experience and couldn’t seem to hold on to the fun of the performance, the attention of her partner, or the viewers‘ hearts. Louie, while coming out like gangbusters, just couldn’t get his dancing act together and threw his partner and his chances for the Mirrorball trophy away in the process. That twisty flip off the stage that he did at the end was pretty darn awesome, though.

It was another packed results show hour -- one that had so much going on it didn’t have time for an encore performance. Taylor Swift came out (sans Kayne) and premiered her new single “Jump, Then Fall,” accompanied by her own fresh-faced dancers who looked convincingly flushed and hopeful in the spring of new love. Cuban musicians Tiempo Libre performed “Tu Conga Bach,” along with some Latin dancers who moved muy rapido and muy caliente on a colorful light pattern that was like a dance floor version of the game Simon.

There was a segment on achieving excellence, in which gymnast Nadia Comaneci, diver Greg Louganis and basketball star Bill Walton spoke seriously about the dedication and drive needed to score a perfect 10 in competition. The gold medal of this clip went to Bill Walton, for being able to say “that Mirrorball trophy is going to take everything” with both a straight face and conviction.

And then Swift performed again, this time toting out her crowd-pleasing chart topper “Love Story,” while Edyta, Maks, Cheryl, Tony, Anna and Jonathan enacted their own lovely Romeo and Juliet romances -- first in different parts of the dance hall, and then coming together on the rectagon at the end. Of course, it was beautifully choreographed and performed (and just proved again how much more I enjoy these dances when they're done by our own familiar pros. Such a treat to see Maks again!). The lasses were outfitted in medieval chic (and Edyta was so lovely and renaissance with her garland of flowers) and looked like they should be wrapped around a maypole, while the lads got in touch with their romantic side in ruffled poets’ blouses that were, as Tom brilliantly said, straight out of  “the Seinfeld puffy shirt museum.”

'Dancing With the Stars': Under pressure

We're past the Season 9 halfway point, ballroom fans, and there are only nine couples left in the competition. But to make sure the coveted Mirrorball trophy does not fall into the wrong celebrity hands, the producers have ratcheted up the Rectagon competition. This week, each couple had to prepare an individual waltz or a jitterbug and contend with the inaugural competition mambo, which had all the teams vying on the floor at once. Not only that, it's a double elimination week, and each team also had to prepare a "knockout" routine should they end up in a precarious bottom position and be forced to (gasp) dance for their lives.

Exciting, yes, but having to learn three routines in one week was a tall order, and part of me felt that the quality of Monday night’s performances suffered because of it. Case in point: Not once did we see a 10 paddle. But then again, maybe the show needs to kick it up a notch and separate the shredding wheat from the lagging chaff before heading to the finals. Here’s who put the boom boom into the judges’ hearts and who fell short of the Week 6 mark.

Regaining their position at the top of the ranks were Joanna Krupa and Derek Hough. Both the model and her pro partner rebounded nicely after last week’s debilitating misstep/flu and performed a waltz that was both elegant and romantic. Also nice: the fun, sparkly glove-like decoration up Joanna’s arms that held a wisp of chiffon and gave the impression of a scarf flowing in the wind. I also liked the one-legged turn she did with her arm extended at the end. Although Tom aptly called it the “get-a-room dance of the season,” Bruno went the more pastoral route and swooned that “it was like watching a butterfly gently gliding over an alpine meadow.” Carrie Ann had a few quibbles about Joanna’s seeming hesitation in some of her moves, but Len said it was the “best waltz we’ve seen all night.”

Theirs was also the best mambo as well, as they out-danced all the other players and emerged as the last couple standing. I kinda wished we had more of a chance to see all the couples on the floor at once, instead of having to abide by the seeming whims of the cameraman. Joanna and Derek seemed to have a lot of content from the rehearsal footage, though in actuality it seemed to be a lot of skirt twirling. And what was up with that one move where Derek had Joanna by the scruff of her neck and moved her up and down repeatedly by his waist area? When they did it again, it looked like he was pulling a Porphyria's lover and choking her with her own hair. The judges sure seemed to like it, though: Joanna and Derek got the full 10 points for the competition mambo and a waltz score of 26, for a total of 36.

In second place were Mya and Dmitry Chaplin. And though there’s no denying that this singer is rhythmically and technically talented, anyone else a little bit bored by what she does? Maybe because she herself seems so blasé about it all. Or maybe that’s just mellow from all her massages. Their dance was the jitterbug, and what should have been a high-energy romp with polka dots and Swiffer dusters felt more swept under the rug. Mya said she wanted to “float like a jitterbug, sting like a bee,” but it was the judges’ comments that packed the most punch. Though Bruno said her “timing was impeccable,” Len lashed that “it’s not worth it to waste 20 bars polishing my desk,” and Carrie Ann admitted the routine ended up being “slightly under what I expected.” Mya and Dmitry received a middling 24 for their dance. Luckily, their second-place mambo finish (perhaps aided by Dmitry’s shiny pants and bared chest) helped boost their score to a healthy 33.

'Dancing With the Stars' results: Shock and awe

Nooo!!! In what was the first truly shocking elimination of the season, Olympic swimmer and personal favorite Natalie Coughlin was revealed to have the lowest total judges’ and viewers’ votes and was eliminated from the competition. And while her paso doble with partner Alec Mazo this week was not her strongest, one so-so dance performance certainly did not warrant this million-dollar mermaid’s premature exit from the season. I mean, come on — as an Olympian, Natalie should have at least made it to the medal round! And I don’t know what’s worse: the fact that the much-decorated swimmer — who, as Carrie Ann said, showed great amounts of flexibility, strength and grace — was ousted so early in the program, or that she was ushered off with a blaringly tactless version of Fats Domino’s “Ain’t That a Shame.” Oh, it hurts, America. It really hurts.

Natalie’s exit definitely put a sour note on an otherwise upbeat week. Even the filler-heavy results show was somewhat entertaining (well, at least until that unbelievable wah-wah downer at the end). We got an encore performance of Donny Osmond and Kym Johnson's Argentine tango. Kelly Osbourne revealed that she suffered a sprained foot after Monday night's performance, but she should be fine to perform next week. We got two performances by Grammy-winner Norah Jones. The first was her grooving single “It’s Gonna Be,” accompanied by two hipster dancers in black and their corpse brides. Next, Jones sang a pared-down version of her favorite “Come Away With Me,” accompanied by real-life marrieds Anna Trebunskaya and Jonathan Roberts (who, incidentally, used the single as their wedding song — sweet!).

Then there was the highly touted, rousing tribute to Michael Jackson, performed by our pros and sanctioned by siblings La Toya and Jermaine and mother Katherine Jackson (who were in attendance). Loved how all the pro guys wore shortish black pants, white socks and black loafers in honor of the King of Pop, though I would have preferred to hear Michael’s original music rather than the Harold Wheeler band. And just when I thought this performance was going to be limited to largely ballroom interpretations, the group got together to enact the famous “Thriller” dance at the end – by far the best part of the night. Anyone else get chills during this part of the routine? It was so fun that I rewound and watched it again and again.

'Dancing With the Stars': Hustle and 'fro

We've reached the halfway point in the competition, ballroom fans ... the "double dance extravaganza," in which contestants performed their first group dance of the season (the Hustle!) along with either the Argentine tango or the paso doble. Monday night also marked the night Len must have taken his happy pill, because the usually curmudgeonly head judge was as sunny and bright as his dapper fuchsia tie and matching 'kerchief. Though why six couples did the tango and only four did the paso was beyond me.  

Also beyond me: Samantha’s hair. Remember that Week 2 results show where she looked like a “Lion King” understudy? Well, this one had that beat. How many cans of Aqua Net were needlessly sacrificed so that thing could live? That afro puff was so out there and bird nesty, I would be afraid just to get near it. It was like a black hole that threatened to suck in anything that dared get too close (luckily Carrie Ann’s wayward earring just fell on the table, 'cause had it fallen in Samantha’s mop, it might never have been found). Along with Lacey’s flame of a coif, this week featured, as Tom said, “hairstyles by Fellini.”

But back to the competition: Everyone scored in the 20s! Only eight points separated first from last. And we have a new leader!

Shooting into first were Donny Osmond and Kym Johnson. Despite his grueling schedule of having to fit in ballroom rehearsals with his four-night-a-week Vegas show, Donny was able to deliver a sharp, crisp Argentine tango that was intense with passion. Though it might have helped that his partner Kym was outfitted in a sexy ruffled black dress that appeared to have its whole left side missing (maybe it got lost in Samantha’s hair?). Donny seemed happy just to make it through the routine, but the judges heaped it with raves. “There’s a whole new side of you,” admired Carrie Ann. “It was so darn sexy!” Len liked his intensity. Bruno: “Finally, Donny Osmond is turning into Donnie Darko, broody, moody, dangerous and sharp as a blade!” Donny, ever the upstanding guy, couldn’t take all the credit. “You took me there.” Total: 29 out of 30.

Sliding into second were Mya and Dmitry Chaplin. Technically, I thought their Argentine tango, set to Jem’s “They,” was more difficult and accomplished than Donny’s. But the judges had issues with the routine’s “emotional connection,” and not even a detour to help build houses with Habitat for Humanity could assuage their quibbles. Carrie Ann went on to say the routine was “distant without any inner dialog,” but Len, who admitted to being a stickler about props and “messing about,” actually said he enjoyed that the two dancers kept their performance mostly contained to the small stage area. “To be honest with you, I never really know what I like until I see it,” the notoriously mercurial head judge said. “And I’ve got to say, I like that.” Total: 27.

'Dancing With the Stars' results: Fight to the finish

In a week where the women soared and many of the men fell by the wayside, it was gentle giant Chuck Liddell who ended up with the short end of the voting stick and was two-stepped out of the competition. And while mixed martial arts fighter Chuck had a couple more judges’ votes than Michael Irvin and Louie Vito, it was pretty clear the Ultimate Fighting champ had reached his plateau, dance-wise. I mean, where else can you go after ruffled sleeves?

It was another Tuesday-night episode that was lite on the filler. The encore performance was not Joanna Krupa and Derek’s raunchy lambada, as Len so cheekily asserted on Monday, but Melissa Joan Hart and Mark’s star-making Charleston, complete with mustache and black-and-white grain film (and a wayward lock of Melissa’s hair that flapped distractingly a half-beat behind her). Pros Cheryl, Edyta, Karina, Dmitry, Alec and Louis performed a snappy Argentine tango/paso doble medley as a preview of what’s to come next week. And while it’s always a pleasure to see the pros perform, particularly when the capes are turned into skirts, couldn’t they have done this last week with the unfamiliar bolero, two-step, lambada and the Charleston?

Grammy-winner Shakira performed twice. First up was “Did It Again,” a single from her latest album that featured awesome traditional Korean drums and allowed the Colombian singer to flex her limber back muscles. She then performed her crowd-pleasing hit “Hips Don’t Lie,” complete with belly dancers, and didn’t even do a costume change in between!

Keeping the stars grounded and down to earth are their kids, who got highlighted in a pre-taped clip. And while they were super-cute and served their intended awww purpose, did anyone else think it was weird that a whole clip was devoted to offspring, when only four of the contestants -- Melissa Joan Hart, Chuck Liddell, Michael Irvin and Mark Dacascos -- had them? 

The next clip, about the stress of competition and impending elimination, was at least more all-inclusive. But man, was it fraught with tension. All the frustrated stares, bickering and stony silence during rehearsals left me feeling that maybe this wasn’t such a fun show to be on, after all. Sure, the producers tried to liven it up with shots of Nerf guns, but ultimately, it left me knotted in one big ball of nerves.

Which brought us to the impending elimination. Which seemed to be drawn out to the point of torture. Aaron Carter and Karina were singled out as one of the bottom two couples early on in the program and had to endure the rest of the hour marked for death in an unflattering red light, only to be joined much, much later by Chuck and Anna. Aaron appeared as though he was about to toss his cookies by hour's end. Anna, however, looked like she was over it every time the camera panned her way (which was only slightly better than Lacey’s oddly-pursed fish lips), so maybe it was good that she and Chuck were put of their misery.

What did you think? Did the right person go home this week? Was Louie’s backstage comment of “At least I’m not crying” a direct dig at Aaron? Which is a better nickname for Chuck: Bear or hippo?

-- Allyssa Lee

Related

'Dancing With the Stars': Four new dances

'Dancing With the Stars' results: Double trouble

Complete 'Dancing With the Stars' coverage on Show Tracker

Photo: Anna Trebunskaya and Chuck Liddell. Credit: ABC / Adam Larkey

'Dancing With the Stars': Four new dances

Ladies and gentlemen, it was experimentation night on “DWTS” as Season 9’s fourth week introduced four new dances to the ballroom roster: the country two-step, the bolero, the Charleston and the lambada. And maybe it’s due to the fact that I’m more familiar with bolero the jacket than bolero the dance, but I kind of hoped that we would get some kind of tutorial about these new styles, just so we could have an idea about how they’re supposed to look before the stars had their crack at them. But as it stands, I gather that the lambada is faster than the bolero, which seems to have the same costumes as the rumba. At least we got more rehearsal footage and less time backstage in this episode, both of which were welcome. And we also got a leader-board shuffle:

Retaining their lead were Mya and Dmitry Chaplin. And though last week’s rumba was a little busy for my taste, their lambada was just right: hot and spicy with a side of raunch dressing. It was curious to see Mya doused in baby oil while she was in the red room (also curious: the splatter-paint halter outfit, with matching eye makeup, and Dmitry’s orange fisherman’s-net top — see-through, of course), but I guess it was to make it seem like she was dancing in the rain. Their routine sent Bruno into peals of ecstasy (“That was an erotic, exotic roller coaster. You would want to ride that over and over and over again”). “Mya’s on fiya!” exclaimed Carrie Ann. Surly Len, however, was not so impressed. “I felt in the lambada I was going to get a bit more,” he said, and proceeded to thwart their quest for a perfect-30 score for a second week in a row by slapping them with a forbidden 8. Total: 28.

Coming alive this week and showing off her acting chops was Melissa Joan Hart, whose Charleston with Mark Ballas combined great energy and performance and left her tied for first place. I liked how Mark explained the 1920s dance as a “marriage between the jive and the quickstep.” I also quite enjoyed how he rocked out the spats, the pomaded hair and banker/porn-star ’stache. Melissa emulated Roxie Hart from “Chicago” and really let loose, and her efforts were not lost on the audience (including Season 3 contestant Joey Lawrence) or the judges. “You brought a 1920 flapper back to life,” declared Bruno. “Breakthrough!” lauded Carrie Ann. Even stickler Len was tickled. “The Charleston is all about the three Es: Energy, excitement, and entertainment,” he said. “You ticked all the boxes.” Total: 28.

In third place again were Joanna Krupa and Derek Hough -- who decided to sacrifice some valuable rehearsal time to volunteer at a pet-adoption agency (well, Joanna did manage to fit in some hip-swivel time with a pit bull). Joanna, who has shown a penchant for wearing yellow, opted for a bright bra top and fringe for her routine and paired it with what looked like seaweed caught on her skirt. Though I have to say, I was more distracted by Derek’s lack of shirt than anything (cue Dmitry: Hey! I didn’t know that was an option!). “That explains the push-ups this morning,” commented Tom. Their lambada was equal parts forbidden and fringe-y, with lots of wrapping of legs around waists and a cool drop spin at the end. And did I mention bright? At times ,they were like two tanned, fluorescent highlighters grinding against each other. Len commended Derek on his excellent choreography, even though he did say it was a “little bit repetitious here and there,” and Bruno likened the dance to “when animals get physical.” “I hope the children were in bed,” said Carrie Ann. “I bet some of the adults are now,” zinged Tom. Ba dum bump! Total: 26.

'Dancing With the Stars' results: Double trouble

Gasp -- another double elimination! This was the second time that Season 9 ended with not one, but two couples who had their run for the coveted Mirrorball trophy cut short. Maybe it was because she never made all her steps ignite, or maybe it was because the two different pronunciations of her name confused viewers and split her votes, but actress Debi Mazar just couldn’t muster up enough fan support to make it past the third week. And after several news reports that he was dropping out, Tom DeLay, who performed his samba with stress fractures, announced that he was withdrawing from the competition on the account of his bum feet. Bummer.

Even with the drama of a double elimination, Tuesday night’s results show kinda lacked in both excitement and content after Monday night’s roller coaster of an episode. There was a lot of performance night recap, which didn’t really produce very memorable sound bites except the one where Debi responded to Len’s claim that she didn’t have flavor by saying, “I’m full of flavor. I’ve been flavorful all day. Geez, I like Froot Loops. What is he talking about?” The encore performance of Chuck Liddell and Anna Trebunskaya's samba fell flat. And the clip analyzing the numerology and statistics to determine this season’s “DWTS” winner, featuring a bow-tied Steve “the Woz” Wozniak, ESPN Fantasy Analyst Matthew Berry, and a random toddler, was more tedious math homework than “Matrix” cool. Ultimately, Season 8 also-ran the Woz chose Donny and Mya for his final two, Matthew Berry selected Aaron and Natalie, and the toddler went with Melissa Joan Hart for his final pick, though that might have been simply because she was wearing a Barbie pink dress.

The performances were fun, though. Queen Latifah continued her “DWTS” streak and sang two numbers, the first, the single “Fast Car” that was decidedly not like the Tracy Chapman version. Her hip-hop song featured a very vigorous dance from Cheryl Burke and Maksim Chmerkovskiy, including a Johnny Castle-type leap from the judges’ table and an impressive turn sequence with Cheryl wrapped around Maks’ leg. Then the Queen went retro, donning a sequined striped top and Converse high tops and belting out a rousing version of “Ease on Down the Road” from “The Wiz,” her energy matched by the group of five dancers that she brought with her.

'Dancing With the Stars': Ballrooms gone wild

Was something pumped into the "DWTS" set on Monday night? It was like the show got besieged by a case of the crazies in this third week, from from the Donny Osmond/Bruno hookup to the rampant prevalence of animal prints to Mark Ballas’ electric shock of hair (Adrian Zmed!) to the costumer who went wild with the sparkles and the bedazzler. It was also Latin Night, aka the “sexiest night of the season,” featuring the party time samba and the sexy time rumba. And our first 10s of the season! How did your favorite star stack up? Let’s take a look at the leader board.

At the top of the pack were Mya and Dmitry Chaplin with their sexy rumba. There’s no denying that Mya’s got the moves, and Dmitry must be thanking his lucky stars that he got paired up with a partner with more than a modicum of talent to utilize his Emmy-nominated choreography skills. (And this way, he can have more time to show the world  his smooth-as-a-baby bottom chest.) And their rumba was very sensuous and well-performed. Carrie Ann “I never met a lift I didn’t dock” Inaba was so mesmerized she couldn’t even recall whether or not they did one. Bruno said Mya was “the embodiment of the supreme seduction,” and then placed her in another category altogether when he went on to say “No price is too high for you.” What? Mya’s not really a Lady Marmalade -- she just sang the song. Still, the bedroom moves were enough to earn Mya the first 10s of the season. And while it was very good, I’m not sure it warranted a perfect score. Plus, I kind of agreed with cranky pants Len that there just seemed to be too much in the routine. And that maybe Mya and Dmitry didn’t have THAT great of chemistry. I mean, if you have to force it with candles and rose petals, then maybe it wasn’t really there to begin with, right? Total: 27.

Skyrocketing to second place were Olympic swimmer Natalie Coughlin and Alec Mazo. And how cute was the pretend medal ceremony when Alec awarded Natalie with a CD on a chain (wait, does this mean she'll end up with silver?)? Props to Alec’s wife Edyta for giving Natalie pointers on how to make the rumba sexy. First: Eye contact. Second: Make sure your partner’s wife gives you permission to “go all out” with their spouse. Third: Make sure your bed-sheet dress matches your partner’s bed-sheet top. Fourth: Put sparkles all over your face and head, particularly in unconventional places like eyebrows and hairlines. Hey, it made Carrie Ann (who looked great Monday night, by the way) shoot her arms up in the air in victory. “That’s my girl, I knew you had it in you!” the judge rejoiced. “It was gorgeous.” Bruno extolled Natalie for going “stratospheric,” and even stickler Len said it was an “excellent performance” and awarded her a decidedly-uncranky 8. Total: 26.

Holding steady in third were model Joanna Krupa and Derek Hough. Derek started their samba with a swinging entrance, doing his best Tarzan impression onto the ballroom floor and then sliding his way to his partner. Joanna displayed pretty good technique and fluidity with the shoulder shakes and the shadow rolls. She also had a dress that looked like splatter-paint animal print with a sneeze of rhinestones down the middle. While I was distracted by the way she kept on licking her teeth so as to save her pearly whites from the tragic amount of purple lipstick, Bruno commended Joanna's excitement and life. He also pointed out some unsteady footwork, though, and told her she needed to work on her strength -- which, let’s face it, is probably a result of her legs being so thin. Carrie Ann thought it was “super sexy,” and Len appreciated the stationary samba walk and commended their routine for having “quality stamped all over it.” Total: 23.

Just two points behind were Donny Osmond and Kym Johnson. And this is where we dip into the weird stuff.

'Dancing With the Stars' results: The mane event

Darn if they don’t always keep me going till the last moment. But Tom's incessant teasing that the super-close point results (11 teams separated by just three points!) could send anybody home really had me convinced that Week 2’s elimination was going to be a shocker.

Of course, in the end, it was low-scoring and low-wattage Kathy Ireland who got cut. And just as with last week’s ouster of Macy Gray and Ashley Hamilton, I don’t think anyone could have said they were surprised to see the model-entrepreneur make her graceful exit.

But first, the filler: Guest judge Baz Luhrmann announced this week’s encore performance, the jumping jive from Mya and Dmitry. The Macy’s Stars of Dance bit featured an unwieldy USC Trojan Marching Band and a lively break dancing and stomp performance created by “Stomp the Yard’ choreographer Chuck Maldonado and Jimmy R.O. Smith.

Selena Gomez continued the “DWTS” Disney streak (after Monday’s Muppet cameo and the Minnie Mouse duds worn by Melissa Joan Hart and Mark Ballas) by performing her latest single, “Falling Down,” with her band the Scene. She looked just about as excited as if she were getting a root canal. Other than one move where she leaned back on one of her bandmates (a Scenester?), the “Wizards of Waverly Place” star showed little to no energy and was upstaged by the crisp, clean turns and swivels of Derek Hough and she of the sparkly body suit, Karina Smirnoff.

Grammy Award winner Joss Stone sang two numbers. The first was “Colour Me Free,” her latest single from her fourth album. And Joss looked great, kind of a cross between Mariah Carey and Jacinda Barrett, though I wondered why she had her eyes closed through the entire performance. Maybe it was because she didn’t want to be distracted by the pro dancers? I know I have a hard time rooting for pro dancers whom I’m not familiar with, either. Yes, I’m talking about you, Jeremy Hudson and Mallauri Esquibel. And what happened to Jeremy’s ultra-long tie? It was flopping along during the first half but disappeared after the intermission.

Later, Joss Stone came out and sang another tune, this time a cover of Dusty Springfield’s “Son of a Preacher Man,” and was accompanied by regulars Dmitry Chaplin, Anna Trebunskaya, Cheryl Burke and Louis Van Amstel. The pros did some partner work and then switched partners and did some samba rolls, and then … whoa! A four-way samba-roll sandwich! I didn’t know whether to be enthralled or uncomfortable after that. Maybe just numb acceptance, kind of like how Oscar-nominated actor and Chuck Liddell pal Mickey Rourke appeared when the cameras panned to him after the performance.

'Dancing With the Stars': Baz relief

It’s only the second week of competition, but already the stakes have been raised. Instead of 4 1/2 weeks of practice, each couple had just four days to prepare a fast-stepping jive, a sultry tango or a, um, fast-stepping quickstep. And the 14 different couples made the two-hour program scurry by in a hurry. This week’s treat: Baz Lurhmann was a guest judge! Loved “Moulin Rouge,” “Romeo + Juliet” and the singular “Strictly Ballroom,” which, we discovered, was one of the inspirations for this show. It also made the director particularly suited to judge this competition. (Turns out Baz’s mom spent time as a professional ballroom judge as well.) And while no one can take the place of head judge and notorious cranky-pants Len Goodman, I quite enjoyed the Australian director’s refreshing and unique insight. And how he looked at each dance as a cinematic story. For most of the evening, however, it seemed as though the judges were content to stay safely within the 6 and 7 range. That is, until…

Aaron Carter and Karina Smirnoff, who scored the season's first nines and racked up a total of 27 out of 30. Aaron was the top-ranking guy coming into this second week, which ratcheted up the pressure all around. Karina seemed to come down particularly hard on the singer, but maybe that’s just a testament to this guy’s potential. And to her credit, what resulted was a really great quickstep. Baz called it “real clever, inventive” and Carrie Ann said “the contact in your hold was ridiculous.” Though while their routine was very well-executed, can they really take all the credit? I mean, they got to use Muppets! Animal opened the set on the drums, and Gonzo made a cameo at the judges table. I’m not sure how I feel about getting actual Muppets to show up in the routine and curry favor. Doesn’t that mark an unfair advantage? Couldn’t the "Muppet Show" theme, Kermit the Frog green suit, Miss Piggy sparkly bra top and Snuffleupagus skirt be enough?

Also scoring a 27 were Mya and Dmitry Chaplin. And this was sans Muppets (though maybe Dmitry’s nerd glasses and extreme flood pants also helped to curry votes). Mya had a great fringey dress straight out of the Roaring '20s and a cute little bob to hop around in for their jive. Baz commended them for being “the real deal…taking the dance, claiming the dance, telling a story with it, making it your own.” Carrie Ann loved the great energy throughout, and Bruno said “it was like seeing Josephine Baker and Clark Kent doing it like I’ve never seen it before.” (Okaaay…) While I liked how Mya worked the theatricality and had great musicality, I found the “Will you go to bed with me?” line and Dmitry’s pants a little distracting. Still, the judges loved it, and also lavished them with 9s.

Coming in third were fan favorite Donny Osmond and his partner Kym Johnson. While I liked the routine, with the disco moves and the mod wrist moves that they performed in unison, I thought their jive was all over the place in the beginning. Or maybe it was because I couldn’t make heads or tails of the outfits. Was Donny in velvet? And was Kym wearing knee-high boots, or were they cleverly arranged stockings fitted into dancing shoes? What was up with her deceptively revealing jumper/flopsy top? Did those shorts have fringe? The judges sure liked the routine, though. “Secret Agent Osmond: Mission accomplished,” crowed Bruno. Baz said the dance was “accurate,” and Carrie Ann said “this is why the name Osmond carries so much weight in this business.” And while I wasn’t sure it warranted such high scores (particularly that 9 from Baz – maybe it was a show of support for fellow Aussie Kym?), Donny ended up with a total of 25.

The rest of the group followed the top three in a trail of 6s and 7s.