'Dancing With the Stars' results: The finalists revealed

After nearly an hour of hemming and hawing, filler segments and musical performances, Tom and Samantha finally got down to business and revealed the final three couples remaining on “Dancing With the Stars” Season 9. Those left standing on the ballroom floor were somewhat surprising.

Well, Mya and Dmitry Chaplin were a no-brainer – they had the highest scores coming into Tuesday night’s results, and the singer’s been riding high in first class on the groove train straight to Mirrorballville for a couple weeks now. And even though Donny Osmond got tangled in a wardrobe malfunction that had him and partner Kym Johnson tied up in knots and at the bottom of the leader board, his ginormous fan base (which no doubt includes the entire state of Utah) helped pull the likable entertainer through to the final week of the competition as well. No, the slight surprise was that the Princess of Darkness, Kelly Osbourne, and partner Louis Van Amstel nabbed the third finalist position, edging out model Joanna Krupa and Derek Hough.

Maybe it was the crotch dip that turned people off. Or maybe their futuristic paso doble was too ahead of its time. But although Joanna and Derek have consistently performed better and scored higher than most of their counterparts, Joanna's previous stints in jeopardy showed that maybe she didn’t have quite the fan base that Donny and Kelly have. And judging by Derek’s raised eyebrows and resigned smiles on stage while awaiting their fate, it sure looked like he was expecting to be ousted, didn't it? Luckily, he and Joanna were able to go out gracefully and with their heads held high: The couple performed Monday night's waltz as their final bow, a dance that was elegant and lovely and blessedly crotch-dip free.

'Dancing With the Stars': Semifinal smackdown

The Mirrorball trophy is so close, you can almost see the remaining stars’ reflections in those shiny beveled squares. It’s semifinals time, and there is no room for error on the ‘DWTS’ stage. The stakes have been ratcheted up again, with each contestant having to perform an unprecedented three whole routines this week: a ballroom number, a Latin routine (with a 15-second solo), and the secret sauce knockout dance (which is a shorter routine, but still). Who had all their ducks in a row and stepped their way into contention for reality TV’s “most reflective prize,” and who lost their footing? For the “semifinalith” time, here’s a rundown of how the stars stacked up.

Topping the leader board and blazing a glittery trail to the finish were Mya and Dmitry Chaplin. Earlier in the competition it seemed natural front-runner Mya could do no right by the judges. Now it appears that the Washington D.C./Maryland-born-and-raised singer and former tap dancer can do no wrong. Wouldn’t it be funny if that's what the judges/producers had in mind all along – to bring Mya down to Earth so that she wouldn’t dominate the entire season, and then unleash her like a sparkle-worthy superstar on the ballroom floor so she can soar, chiffon wisps and all, in time for the finals?

Mya and Dmitry continued to build on last week’s near-perfect scores in this semifinal round. Their first dance, the waltz, set to “Amore e Musica” had Mya glittering and floating and lilting like a shimmering star. Len liked the romance and elegance and Bruno called the dance “love set to music…[with] a touch of exotic” (wha? Is this because she’s half black?). Carrie Ann, however, was a little persnickety about them not being connected on hold.

The judges took it all back with Mya and Dmitry’s perfect-30 salsa, though, which smartly showed off fun yellow fringe and sexy moves for her, and a bare chest for him. Dmitry did a nice move where he caught her neck with his leg when she leaned back, and Mya really let loose with her awesome solo, which was far and away the smoothest and most technically accomplished of the night. Plus, I liked how Dmitry stayed in character while she did her 15-second performance, sitting on the steps of the stage and nodding to the beat like an admirer. The call-and-answer version of Madonna’s “La Isla Bonita” was a little odd, but that’s small potatoes, as there was nothing else that was wrong with this dance. Bruno called it “sensational,” Carrie Ann called the solo “slamming” and Len even pulled out the colorful language and laid bare his feelings in rhyme. “Tutti fruity, what a booty! I was mesmerized by your buttocks.”

'Dancing With the Stars' results: No more tears

He’d staved off elimination for so long, it seemed as though he had figured out how to stay simmering under those red heat lamps without being kicked out of the running. But alas, fate caught up with Aaron Carter, and he, his bulging forehead vein and his partner,  Karina Smirnoff, were all eliminated from the Season 9 competition. And bravo to the singer for not shedding any tears! The producers must be patting themselves on the backs for creating such a nice story arc for Aaron, as over the course of eight weeks, the unbridled, emotional teen pop star had grown into a poised, gracious dancing man. Crusty Len Goodman shed his gruff and continued with his fatherly praise, even bucking convention and speaking out when the 21-year-old was voted out of the competition. “The dedication that you’ve shown week after week is absolutely fantastic,” the head judge said. “If you were my son, I would be so proud of you. But more important, you’d be proud of yourself.”

Such endearing words from someone Kenny Mayne called “the old wanker.” While Aaron was a better dancer and earned more judges’ points than fellow bottom-two dweller Kelly Osbourne, the young Carter just never seemed to secure the voter support that the Princess of Evil commanded, and his time in the Rectagon was up.

It was a bittersweet end to another jam-packed results show. After some guffawing, Len revealed the encore dance performance was not Mya and Dmitry’s perfect 30 samba, but Joanna and Derek’s paso doble, because it offered “a glimpse of how it could look in the future.” And it was fun to see the dance again without Joanna’s distracting silver bob of a wig and matching eye makeup (though Derek’s blue eye stripe had made its way up into his faux hawk of hair). Certainly, Hugh Hefner liked it, and came out in support of his cover girl.

Michael Bublé came on the scene, singing two songs during this hour. “Haven’t Met You Yet” was a fun romp from his latest album made even more delightful by some fancy stepping from Maksim Chmerkovskiy, Jonathan Roberts, Cheryl Burke and Anna Trebunskaya. And then the singer returned on the stage and belted out the brassy “Feeling Good,” accompanied by two dancers whose names were drowned out in a sea of applause.

'Dancing With the Stars': Stepping through time

Can you believe we’ve reached the quarterfinals already, ballroom fans? This week, all five remaining couples had to perform two individual dances: one ballroom and one Latin. And for an added twist, the Latin dances had to be arranged to fit a certain decade, which the teams themselves picked from a magic disco ball. Anything that emerges from a magic disco ball is bound to be fun and full of surprises, and the Latin routines were no exception: We were treated to some creative and entertaining dances (as well as some far-out costumes). We also got a reshuffling of the rankings. And our first perfect-30 score of the season!

High honors this week went to Mya and Dmitry Chaplin. After a couple of weeks of sagging scores, the singer and her partner rebounded in a huge way, reclaiming their spot in first place and scoring a perfect-30 routine — all in one night! Though both Mya and Dmitry had resolved not to pare down the wow factor to pander to the judges, their quickstep ended up being very traditional — with most of the dance in hold — which put the gimmick-hating Len in the right mood to hand out some 10s. But not before the head judge did a little bit of a cheeky fake-out first. “For me, we got off to a sticky start from Week 1,” he began. “This was a disappointment for me…because I couldn’t find anything to criticize.” Psych! Carrie Ann commended Mya on performing a dance that “looked like it just flowed out of your body with ease and grace,” and Bruno turned positively effervescent with his acclaim. “This quickstep is like vintage Champagne: light, popping, full of flavor,” he praised. The 10 from Len prompted Dmitry to whip out a velvet jewelry box and oh-so-adorably present his partner with a mini version of the judges’ 10 paddle that she could wear as a ring. Where can I score me some of those? I’d like one for every digit, please.

Hope Mya kept that ring out, because their samba was even better. Good for Dmitry for shimmying through his choreographer’s block to seamlessly incorporate ’70s disco moves into their Latin dance. Their samba was a spicy mix of Latin hot and “Soul Train” groove that hit all the right notes and was a hoot and a half to watch. And not just because of Dmitry’s tousled locks and rocking “Swingtown” porn ’stache (which he gamely wriggled for the cameras backstage). Their routine was technically sound, the rolls were executed flawlessly, and the “Saturday Night Fever” moves were delivered with the right amount of heat and sizzle to make even skeptical Carrie Ann change her tune. “I believe it,” she avowed. “I believe that you want to win that competition.” Len took one of Carrie Ann’s old phrases and confirmed that Mya was “absolutely on fire.” “You have produced two dances of the highest standard with no gimmicks!” Words weren’t even enough for Bruno, who instead had to screech out his praise in song (Said Tom: “You managed to impersonate Diana Ross and a strangled cat at the same time”).  Mya and Dmitry earned a 29 out of 30 for their quickstep and a perfect 30 for their sassy samba. Total: 59 out of 60. 

Falling to second place were Joanna Krupa and Derek Hough. And though they both spent rehearsal time in front of the TV analyzing Mya’s transitions, Joanna couldn’t transfer the smoothness of that taped footage into her own quickstep routine. Granted, the routine had a ton of steps and scampered all over the Rectagon and back again. But at times it seemed as though Joanna couldn’t quite keep up with her partner. “You looked like you were running away from the scene of a crime!” Bruno exclaimed. Carrie Ann pointed out the out-of-sync moments and that Joanna forgot to point her toes. And Len played bad cop and complained of “a lot of running about” and a “lack of body contact.” “This is not the standard for the quarterfinals,” he reproved harshly, before telling them to bend over and slapping them with a 7 paddle.

'Dancing With the Stars' results: Dance-off double elimination, part deux

He can finally unclench those butt cheeks and let go of that nickel. After winning over the judges and the audience with his steady improvement and endearing smile, football star Michael Irvin found himself with the lowest combined total number of points, thereby ending his and partner Anna Demidova's bid for the “DWTS” title.

And I don’t think anyone can say they were surprised by this exit, despite his increasing scores. The NFL Hall of Famer had been hovering at the bottom of the pack for … well, most of the season. At least the former Dallas Cowboy was able to end on a high note: He showed off a great costuming eye with lots of purple for his kids, played peacemaker in the Team Paso, and Monday night’s fox trot was his best dance yet. And as Michael and Anna discovered they were eliminated midway through the results hour, they were spared the added stress of dealing with another dance-off and having to perform their samba again.

The other couple to go this week was Mark Dacascos and his newly recovered partner, Lacey Schwimmer, after they lost their dance-off with fellow bottom-dwellers Aaron Carter and Karina Smirnoff. (Man, the voters really must not like Aaron. What is it about this guy that voters can’t pick up the phone for? Despite performing a near-perfect jive the night before, the young, intense Carter found himself simmering under those red heat lamps once again.)

Mark’s exit was a little tougher to take. It seemed as though the “Iron Chef: America” star was more a victim of the unfortunate circumstance (“So much flu — we’re like a spray-tanned Petri dish,” joked Tom) than bad dancing. But though his knockout cha-cha-cha with Lacey was a powerhouse of acrobatics coupled with a little bit of dance (and featured a split leap launched from the judges’ table that looked like it went up into the rafters), his routine was really no match for Aaron and Karina’s superior jive — particularly after coming on the heels of Aaron's awesome Monday night performance. Hey, at least it allowed Mark to dance one more time with Lacey, right?

'Dancing With the Stars': Team effort

It’s the seventh week of the seventh moon of the seventh star of “Dancing With the Stars,” ballroom fans, and the pressure in the Rectagon has been cranked up to 11.

In addition to everyone’s individual dances, this week also marked the epic group dance battle of the season: Team Tango versus Team Paso. Who would emerge victorious, and who would be left smarting from the sting of lower scores? Although, initially, I thought the paso doble folks would be a shoo-in to win — mainly because the dance is a lot of high-energy stomps and showy chests and cape work — Team Tango (consisting of Joanna and Derek, Kelly and Louis, Donny and Kim) out-kicked Team Paso (Aaron and Karina, Mark and Anna, Michael and Anna, Mya and Dmitry) and were awarded a whopping 28 points for their synchronized efforts (Team Paso each got 24).

But we’re still facing double elimination and a dance-off come tonight, so let’s look and see how the individual competitors stacked up.

Sitting pretty in their plum position atop the leader board were Joanna Krupa and Derek Hough. And as a treat this week, we got to take a peek at what went on inside Derek’s head while he drummed up rumba choreography. Turned out a lot of it involved Joanna frolicking in a bathing suit and picnics on the beach (and ended with him good-humoredly making out with himself in the mirror). Luckily, the cheesiness of that fantasy sequence didn’t translate into their rumba, which was sensuous (well, with sudden jolts of movement) without venturing into the raunchy bow-chicka-bow-bow territory. Too bad about her tripping up on her skirt again, though (maybe she should hike up those hemlines?).

Bruno deigned Joanna “a love goddess” and Len commended her for ticking off all the boxes for a proper dance. Joanna and Derek received a 27 for their rumba, and added to their 28 for their stellar Team Tango routine, ended up with a combined total of 55 out of 60 points.

In second place were Aaron Carter and Karina Smirnoff. And color me surprised, because the pop star’s jive was far and away my favorite routine of the night. A big high-five to the guy at Elite Athletics for putting Aaron through the paces and really helping to hone the younger Carter’s footwork: The before and after difference were like night and day. His flicks were so quick and so clean and made the whole routine a joy to watch. Also a joy to watch: Karina’s ombre fringe dress. Not sure what was going on with her forehead decal (or his chin scruff – were these both a nod to the rebellious Twisted Sister song that they danced to?), but Aaron was fast and furious and full of, as Bruno said, “unstoppable momentum.” “That had enough energy to light up Hollywood,” said Len of their routine. “It was wild, but it was clean. It was fast, but it had control. It was fun and it wasn’t slapstick.” And the head judge even dusted off the old 10 paddle for their greatest score yet. And out popped Aaron's ginormous forehead vein again! Carter should be careful: One more raucous, rock-star “waaaah!” and that thing just might burst. Aaron received a 29 for his jumpin’ jive and a 24 for his paso, for a total of 53.

The flu sidelines another 'DWTS' competitor

First it was Derek Hough and Mark Ballas. But the pesky flu has jitterbugged its way around the "Dancing With the Stars" set, and now pro dancer Lacey Schwimmer is reportedly the latest to be sidelined by the illness and out of this week's competition.

According to People.com, Schwimmer became ill  Thursday night while traveling with celebrity partner Mark Dacascos in New York. Fellow pro Anna Trebunskaya (who teamed up with Ultimate Fighter Chuck  Liddell earlier in this season's competition) was tapped to step in for a rehearsal. But now that Lacey still has not fully recovered from her illness, Trebunskaya has agreed to perform with the "Iron Chef: America" chairman for not one, but two, routines during tonight's competition.

Will Mark Dacascos' new partnership help or hinder his chances for the Mirrorball trophy? Tune in tonight at 8 on ABC for the competition, and check back with us Tuesday morning for the replay.

— Allyssa Lee

Related:

Complete 'Dancing With the Stars' coverage on Show Tracker

Photo: Mark Dacascos and Lacey Schwimmer. Credit:  Craig Sjodin / ABC

'Dancing With the Stars' results: Two for the road

Alas, guess we’ll never be able to see that awesome waltz that Louie promised. At the end of Season Nine's sixth week, it was actress Melissa Joan Hart and Mark Ballas who ended up with the lowest combined point total and were booted from the show. But wait, there's more: Because it was yet another round of the dreaded double elimination, snowboarder Louie Vito and Chelsie Hightower also got iced out of the competition as the losing half in the first-ever dance-off of the season. Though I don’t think anyone was much surprised by either of those exits. Melissa was plagued with zero dance experience and couldn’t seem to hold on to the fun of the performance, the attention of her partner, or the viewers‘ hearts. Louie, while coming out like gangbusters, just couldn’t get his dancing act together and threw his partner and his chances for the Mirrorball trophy away in the process. That twisty flip off the stage that he did at the end was pretty darn awesome, though.

It was another packed results show hour -- one that had so much going on it didn’t have time for an encore performance. Taylor Swift came out (sans Kayne) and premiered her new single “Jump, Then Fall,” accompanied by her own fresh-faced dancers who looked convincingly flushed and hopeful in the spring of new love. Cuban musicians Tiempo Libre performed “Tu Conga Bach,” along with some Latin dancers who moved muy rapido and muy caliente on a colorful light pattern that was like a dance floor version of the game Simon.

There was a segment on achieving excellence, in which gymnast Nadia Comaneci, diver Greg Louganis and basketball star Bill Walton spoke seriously about the dedication and drive needed to score a perfect 10 in competition. The gold medal of this clip went to Bill Walton, for being able to say “that Mirrorball trophy is going to take everything” with both a straight face and conviction.

And then Swift performed again, this time toting out her crowd-pleasing chart topper “Love Story,” while Edyta, Maks, Cheryl, Tony, Anna and Jonathan enacted their own lovely Romeo and Juliet romances -- first in different parts of the dance hall, and then coming together on the rectagon at the end. Of course, it was beautifully choreographed and performed (and just proved again how much more I enjoy these dances when they're done by our own familiar pros. Such a treat to see Maks again!). The lasses were outfitted in medieval chic (and Edyta was so lovely and renaissance with her garland of flowers) and looked like they should be wrapped around a maypole, while the lads got in touch with their romantic side in ruffled poets’ blouses that were, as Tom brilliantly said, straight out of  “the Seinfeld puffy shirt museum.”

'Dancing With the Stars': Under pressure

We're past the Season 9 halfway point, ballroom fans, and there are only nine couples left in the competition. But to make sure the coveted Mirrorball trophy does not fall into the wrong celebrity hands, the producers have ratcheted up the Rectagon competition. This week, each couple had to prepare an individual waltz or a jitterbug and contend with the inaugural competition mambo, which had all the teams vying on the floor at once. Not only that, it's a double elimination week, and each team also had to prepare a "knockout" routine should they end up in a precarious bottom position and be forced to (gasp) dance for their lives.

Exciting, yes, but having to learn three routines in one week was a tall order, and part of me felt that the quality of Monday night’s performances suffered because of it. Case in point: Not once did we see a 10 paddle. But then again, maybe the show needs to kick it up a notch and separate the shredding wheat from the lagging chaff before heading to the finals. Here’s who put the boom boom into the judges’ hearts and who fell short of the Week 6 mark.

Regaining their position at the top of the ranks were Joanna Krupa and Derek Hough. Both the model and her pro partner rebounded nicely after last week’s debilitating misstep/flu and performed a waltz that was both elegant and romantic. Also nice: the fun, sparkly glove-like decoration up Joanna’s arms that held a wisp of chiffon and gave the impression of a scarf flowing in the wind. I also liked the one-legged turn she did with her arm extended at the end. Although Tom aptly called it the “get-a-room dance of the season,” Bruno went the more pastoral route and swooned that “it was like watching a butterfly gently gliding over an alpine meadow.” Carrie Ann had a few quibbles about Joanna’s seeming hesitation in some of her moves, but Len said it was the “best waltz we’ve seen all night.”

Theirs was also the best mambo as well, as they out-danced all the other players and emerged as the last couple standing. I kinda wished we had more of a chance to see all the couples on the floor at once, instead of having to abide by the seeming whims of the cameraman. Joanna and Derek seemed to have a lot of content from the rehearsal footage, though in actuality it seemed to be a lot of skirt twirling. And what was up with that one move where Derek had Joanna by the scruff of her neck and moved her up and down repeatedly by his waist area? When they did it again, it looked like he was pulling a Porphyria's lover and choking her with her own hair. The judges sure seemed to like it, though: Joanna and Derek got the full 10 points for the competition mambo and a waltz score of 26, for a total of 36.

In second place were Mya and Dmitry Chaplin. And though there’s no denying that this singer is rhythmically and technically talented, anyone else a little bit bored by what she does? Maybe because she herself seems so blasé about it all. Or maybe that’s just mellow from all her massages. Their dance was the jitterbug, and what should have been a high-energy romp with polka dots and Swiffer dusters felt more swept under the rug. Mya said she wanted to “float like a jitterbug, sting like a bee,” but it was the judges’ comments that packed the most punch. Though Bruno said her “timing was impeccable,” Len lashed that “it’s not worth it to waste 20 bars polishing my desk,” and Carrie Ann admitted the routine ended up being “slightly under what I expected.” Mya and Dmitry received a middling 24 for their dance. Luckily, their second-place mambo finish (perhaps aided by Dmitry’s shiny pants and bared chest) helped boost their score to a healthy 33.

'Dancing With the Stars' results: Shock and awe

Nooo!!! In what was the first truly shocking elimination of the season, Olympic swimmer and personal favorite Natalie Coughlin was revealed to have the lowest total judges’ and viewers’ votes and was eliminated from the competition. And while her paso doble with partner Alec Mazo this week was not her strongest, one so-so dance performance certainly did not warrant this million-dollar mermaid’s premature exit from the season. I mean, come on — as an Olympian, Natalie should have at least made it to the medal round! And I don’t know what’s worse: the fact that the much-decorated swimmer — who, as Carrie Ann said, showed great amounts of flexibility, strength and grace — was ousted so early in the program, or that she was ushered off with a blaringly tactless version of Fats Domino’s “Ain’t That a Shame.” Oh, it hurts, America. It really hurts.

Natalie’s exit definitely put a sour note on an otherwise upbeat week. Even the filler-heavy results show was somewhat entertaining (well, at least until that unbelievable wah-wah downer at the end). We got an encore performance of Donny Osmond and Kym Johnson's Argentine tango. Kelly Osbourne revealed that she suffered a sprained foot after Monday night's performance, but she should be fine to perform next week. We got two performances by Grammy-winner Norah Jones. The first was her grooving single “It’s Gonna Be,” accompanied by two hipster dancers in black and their corpse brides. Next, Jones sang a pared-down version of her favorite “Come Away With Me,” accompanied by real-life marrieds Anna Trebunskaya and Jonathan Roberts (who, incidentally, used the single as their wedding song — sweet!).

Then there was the highly touted, rousing tribute to Michael Jackson, performed by our pros and sanctioned by siblings La Toya and Jermaine and mother Katherine Jackson (who were in attendance). Loved how all the pro guys wore shortish black pants, white socks and black loafers in honor of the King of Pop, though I would have preferred to hear Michael’s original music rather than the Harold Wheeler band. And just when I thought this performance was going to be limited to largely ballroom interpretations, the group got together to enact the famous “Thriller” dance at the end – by far the best part of the night. Anyone else get chills during this part of the routine? It was so fun that I rewound and watched it again and again.