About (Late) Last Night: Shaq tries to meet President Obama [Video]

Superstar athletes like Shaquille O'Neal are used to getting whatever they want, when they want it. But there are a few things not even Shaq can do -- like getting an impromptu meeting with President Obama. 

O'Neal recently paid a visit to Washington and, for the third time, tried and failed to say hello to the nation's commander in chief. 

On Tuesday night, Conan O'Brien pushed O'Neal for an explanation. "What's this obsession with trying to get into the White House?" 

"I just want to take 30 seconds of the president's time, shake his hand, 'Thank you, sir,' and then leave. That's all I want," he said. (And why not? It worked for Elvis.) 

"You know he's been kinda busy the past couple of days?" O'Brien asked. "You don't call ahead?" 

"I just went up to the gate and I looked at the guy and he had a smile on his face and I was like," O'Neal said, raising his eyebrows expectantly.

It didn't work. 

"He was like, 'Shaq, what do you want?' And I was like, 'Can I just say hi to the President?' He's like, 'Nah, Shaq, we can't do it.' ... I was actually quite sad about it," O'Neal said, then wiped an imaginary tear from his eye.

O'Neal may have been disappointed, but Andy Richter, for one, was amused at the White House's repeated refusals. "I like the guy at the gate is like, 'Shaq, what do you want? This again?'" 

 

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-- Meredith Blake
Twitter.com/MeredithBlake

About (Late) Last Night: Marisa Miller paddles with Conan [Video]

Victoria's Secret model Marisa Miller paid a visit to "Conan" last night and -- would you believe it? -- host Conan O'Brien seemed pretty happy about it. When they're around beautiful women, every late-night host has his own patented shtick: Jay Leno asks lots of uncomfortable personal questions, David Letterman showers them with compliments and O'Brien acts like a short-circuiting robot; you half expect his head to spin around and springs to shoot out of his ears. 

And so it was Monday night when Miller, decked out in a black miniskirt and hot pink stilettos, took a seat next to O'Brien. "You look extremely sexy," he said, punctuating his sentence with nasal laughter. Miller came with a purpose, of course: promoting her new line of stand-up paddle boards. (Well, that's a new one.)

The plan was for Miller to give O'Brien a paddling lesson and "tap into your inner surfer boy. ... I'm gonna find it."

"Look hard," O'Brien joked.

During the demonstration (in front of a green-screen projection of beautiful turquoise water) Miller took a hands-on approach, adjusting the placement of O'Briens legs and hips.

"Need more help," he demanded.

In the end, Miller gave O'Brien a positive assessment. "You're a natural. ... You have a good center of gravity and your abs are really hard," she said, smacking his torso. 

"You know what's really hard? That right there!" O'Brien said, pointing to his butt, and Miller complied with a few quick spanks.

The things a girl has to do to sell a few paddle boards these days...

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-- Meredith Blake
Twitter.com/MeredithBlake

About (Late) Last Night: Suicidal 'Harry Potter' 'fan' threatens to jump on 'Conan' [Video]

Now that the final "Harry Potter" film has been released, fans everywhere are in a state of mourning. One particularly upset "fan" stormed the set of "Conan" Wednesday night. Host Conan O'Brien was in the middle of his monologue, when a voice cried out from the rafters.

"I've got nothing to live for," proclaimed a young, bespectacled man, dressed in a maroon-and-gold scarf and a billowing black cape. "No more spells, no more transfigurations, no more charm classes. I feel like a curse has been cast on my heart by the death-eaters."

"What about your loved ones? What about your wife? Your girlfriend?" Conan asked.

"Well, now you're just mocking me," the Potter super-fan replied. "I'm a man without a purpose."

Just then, a masked man -- who, come to think of it, looked a lot like Andy Richter -- emerged from the shadows. "Step away from that railing, Citizen Nerd," he commanded.

"Batman?" the young man wondered.

"Yeah, sure. ... I'm Batman. Here, these ought to cheer you up," he said, handing the distraught youngster two VIP passes to the "Dark Knight" panel at Comic-Con --"with a guaranteed three seconds of eye contact with Christopher Nolan."

"I haven't been so excited since Harry took the billywig so he could breathe underwater and save Ron," said the Potter fan.

The masked man suddenly had a change of heart. "I'm gonna take those back. You know you bring a lot of this on yourself, you nerd."

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-- Meredith Blake
Twitter.com/MeredithBlake

About (Late) Last Night: Conan presents his own version of Spider-Man musical [Video]

 Since preview performances began last November, "Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark," the mega-expensive Broadway adaptation of the blockbuster comic, has been something of a debacle. So it was with high hopes that a retooled version of the musical finally officially opened earlier this week in New York.

Those hopes, it turned out, would be in vain: response to the watered-down "Spider-Man" have been almost universally negative. New York Times theater critic Ben Brantley claimed the show would only be appropriate for "a less-than-precocious child of 10 or so [who] had several hundred dollars to throw away." Ouch.

Thursday night, Conan O'Brien, inspired by Brantley's review, presented his own version of "Spider-Man," re-imagining it as an educational play about nutrition and personal hygiene -- the sort of cloying instructional video you might see in an elementary school health class.

Who knew the Green Goblin was so into fresh fruits and vegetables? 

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About (Late) Last Night: Conan looks back at Oprah's craziest fans [Video]

-- Meredith Blake
twitter.com/MeredithBlake

About (Late) Last Night: Conan looks back at Oprah's craziest fans [Video]

 On Wednesday, the only news that really mattered -- at least in the world of entertainment, anyway -- was the much-hyped, somewhat preachy series finale of "The Oprah Winfrey Show." It's a pity that both "The Daily Show" and "The Colbert Report" are in reruns this week, since media spectacles like this are bread-and-butter for both shows. Luckily, Conan O'Brien was on hand to pick up the slack.

In his monologue, O'Brien pointed out that Oprah would be nowhere without her swarms of passionate, devoted fans. He introduced a slow-motion montage featuring some of her more expressive fans, including:

• The Jumping Clapper
• The Face Fanner
• The Kiss Blower
• The Weeper
• The "Hands on Head" Woman
• The Extremely Alarmed Grandma

For the complete list, watch the video above. It was a fitting tribute to Oprah's fanatical fans, and the exuberance she (not to mention, lots of free goodies) tends to inspire. The question is, did O'Brien leave out any fans? For reference, you might want to check out this video, which may be the finest example of Oprah-induced mania from her quarter-century on the air.

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--Meredith Blake

twitter.com/MeredithBlake

Fall TV Season: Technical difficulties slow Turner Broadcasting's upfront presentation

A power surge blew out Turner Broadcasting's programming presentation to advertisers in the Hammerstein Ballroom in New York.

The technical difficulties started soon after Conan O'Brien finished a roast of TBS, the cable channel he joined after leaving NBC last year. Steve Koonin, president of Turner Entertainment Networks, did an admirable job entertaining the crowd during the outage.

He added that while he may be the former president of Turner, commercial prices won't go down.

The problem was fixed briefly, only to return about 20 minutes later.

In his opening bit, O'Brien didn't show his new bosses at Turner Broadcasting much love during the cable channel's presentation of new programming to advertisers.

While it is common for talent to take shots at their network bosses when performing at so-called upfront presentations, O'Brien's routine at times seemed more nasty than loving. Besides the usual jokes about cheaper budgets on cable -- he said Turner put him up in a hotel in the Bronx -- he also told attendees to gear up for clips from their favorite "Seinfeld" reruns.

Poking fun at Michael Wright, the Turner executive in charge of original programming who was once an actor, O'Brien cracked, "I saw him acting like TBS had original programming."

O'Brien joked that after this performance fans could follow him to Animal Planet.

-- Joe Flint

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Photo: Conan O'Brien. Credit: Art Streiber / TBS

Fall TV Season: TNT and TBS announce new shows; Conan goes on the road

Time Warner's cable network unit Turner Broadcasting, parent of TBS, TNT and Cartoon Network, announced new shows to advertisers Wednesday morning.

Among the new shows are: "Major Crimes," starring Mary McDonnell, which premieres on TNT after the series finale of "The Closer" early next year. Also new is a mystery movie lineup on Tuesday nights from a host of bestselling crime authors. Among the works and writers slated for the new movie slot are: Scott Turow's "Innocent," Richard North Patterson’s "Silent Witness," Sandra Brown’s "Ricochet," Lisa Gardner’s "Hide," April Smith’s "Good Morning, Killer," and Mary Higgins Clark and Carol Higgins Clark’s "Deck the Halls."

Meanwhile, TBS is adding new comedies including "The Wedding Band,"an hourlong comedy starring Brian Austin Green and Harold Perrineau, who spend their spare time performing in a band. The series is to premiere in summer 2012. 

Also, Conan O'Brien will take his late-night talk show on the road for the first time next season, making stops in New York and Chicago.

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-- Joe Flint

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Jimmy Pardo is Conan's warm-up guy -- and podcast pioneer

Jimmy Pardo is Conan O'Brien's warm-up guy — a crowd whisperer who gets audiences in a good mood for the show. But among the comedically inclined, he's also famous for being a pioneer in the world of the comedy podcast.

Pardo's long-running "Never Not Funny," a straight-talk podcast featuring one comic guest at a time for roughly 90 minutes each week, goes into its ninth season on June 8. Comedian Marc Maron, who hosts and produces a twice-weekly podcast, says Pardo was an inspiration. "He made it seem possible," says Maron. "Comedians aren't the most motivated people. Jimmy made us know that it was doable, and fun, and a viable new medium to be funny with."

Read more about Pardo in this Calendar feature.

Photo: Jimmy Pardo warming up for Conan. Credit: Ricardo DeAratanha/ Los Angeles Times.

About (Late) Last Night: Why Zach Braff is on Team Coco [Video]

Last year's vicious late-night wars have become a permanent part of Conan O'Brien's brand identity. He's the geeky underdog shamefully mistreated by the out-of-touch suits at NBC -- and betrayed by his former colleague, Jay Leno. For better or worse, it's an image O'Brien has embraced. Even the name of his website -- TeamCoco.com -- has a partisan, almost cultish quality to it.

But it turns out "Team Coco" has connotations other than "Jay Leno is lame." On Tuesday, Zach Braff stepped in at the last minute to replace scheduled guest Jennifer Lopez. (The "American Idol" judge had canceled at the last minute; maybe she's on Team Leno?).  He was eager to share some news with O'Brien.

"In Creole -- and I know this because I had a Haitian babysitter when I was growing up -- Coco is slang for 'vagina,'" he said. "I happen to know every time you say 'Team Coco,' for Haitians, you're saying 'Team Vagina.'"

"This may explain a huge spike in my popularity," O'Brien joked. "In Haiti, things have gone through the roof."

Sidekick Andy Richter deadpanned, "I'm totally on Team Coco." 

Leno might have "The Tonight Show" spotlight, but until we find out that his last name means something gynecological in some foreign tongue, O'Brien's at least got one small advantage.

-- Meredith Blake

twitter.com/MeredithBlake

Tweeters Digest: The week in tweets -- a royal wedding and retwitterment

In Tweeters Digest, we round up some of the events of the week as seen through the Twitter feeds of TV personalities. In previous editions, celebs have come together over some major issues -- Charlie Sheen and star feuds as well as April fools.

This week, stars deployed their 140-character tweets on subjects as varied as Passover, Donald Trump's political posturing and the impending royal wedding of William and Kate.

Meanwhile, Charlie Sheen (@charliesheen) continued to make his presence known. Anthony Bourdain (@NoReservations) got giddy with the cast of "The Wire" (including @WendellPierce), Martha Stewart (@MarthaStewart) rubbed elbows with Gene Simmons (@Genesimmons), and Paul Reiser (@paulreiser) expressed dismay at the swift cancellation of his show.

And Paris Hilton (@ParisHilton)? She went to Disneyland.

-- Joy Press
twitter.com/joypress

More tweets after the jump.

About (Late) Last Night: 'Conan' spoofs Tyler Perry

In barely six years in the spotlight, Tyler Perry has become a ubiquitous presence in American pop culture. He's produced and/or directed a dozen movies, written a bestselling book and developed the hit sitcoms "Tyler Perry's House of Payne" and "Meet the Browns."  

So when the multi-hyphenate media mogul stopped by "Conan" on Wednesday night to plug his latest movie, the awkwardly titled "Tyler Perry's Madea's Big Happy Family," O'Brien seized the opportunity to poke a little fun at the prolific (and heavy-handed) filmmaker.

"The most powerful person at this network by far is Tyler Perry," O'Brien declared. "I mean, that guy can do whatever he wants on this channel, whenever he wants.... When he heard that we were launching this show, he decided to launch a new Tyler Perry program within our show, right here in our audience."

The spoof sitcom "Tyler Perry's Row 11," which first debuted back in December, follows the Hubbards, a hard-working African American family stuck -- quite literally -- in the 11th row of O'Brien's studio audience. In the latest installment, the Hubbards face eviction after Dad takes out a risky sub-prime mortgage in order to pay for an above-ground pool. That is, until a hero intervenes....

To find out what happens, watch the clip above -- just have your hankies at the ready.

-- Meredith Blake

twitter.com/MeredithBlake

 

 

 

 

About (Late) Last Night: Tina Fey shows off the 'larva monster' growing inside her

 

Decked out in an impressive array of little black maternity dresses, Tina Fey has been on a grand tour of the nation's talk-show couches for the last two weeks to promote her new memoir, "Bossypants," and the upcoming 100th episode of "30 Rock."  But, truthfully, all anyone wants to talk about is the baby she has on the way.

On Tuesday night, Fey sat down with her former 30 Rock (as in the building, not the show) neighbor, Conan O'Brien. He got right down to business.

"You've been all over the news lately. You're expecting your second child," O'Brien said. "You know it's weird, I've been through this twice, I have two kids. Going to the doctor, they have all this amazing equipment where they can almost show you too much of your child at an early stage."

"It's been five years since I had my first, and now they have all this new technology. They have 3-D ultrasound which is supposed to be like 'Yeah, I want to see it.' There's a reason this thing isn't see-through," Fey said, pointing to her belly. "'Cause that thing's not cooked yet. It's horrifying. You see the 3-D ultrasound and it's like, 'Oh, it's a larva monster.' It's upsetting. Did you have one?"

O'Brien, who got a 3-D ultrasound of his second child, recalled that it "looked like special effects from a monster movie."

"It's a chance to bond with the little horrifying Gollum insde you," Fey said.

The conversation was really just a prolonged way of setting up the punchline: An ultrasound image of Fey's gestating offspring. Let's just say, her "horror" seems pretty justified.

--Meredith Blake

twitter.com/MeredithBlake