Review: 'Two and a Half Men' welcomes Kutcher, buries Sheen

CBS' cash-cow sitcom "Two and a Half Men" gathered its skirts and trudged into the future Monday night. The coffin over which the camera moved in the opening shot of the series' ninth season contained not just the character that Charlie Sheen had played for eight years, but in a pointedly metaphorical way, Sheen himself. (In a parallel narrative stream, the actual rock star from Mars would get his Comedy Central roast an hour later.)

They had come to bury him, player and played, and hardly to praise him: to sweep out the ashes –- to vacuum them up in a Dust Buster, eventually –- and roll out the carpet for his younger, taller, prettier, buffer and sure-to-be-less troublesome replacement.

"Two and a Half Men" is not a show I found funny, although – as with a Nashville power ballad -- I could see why other people might. Still, it’s pointless to argue with eight seasons of success, just as it was pointless to calculate just how much, or how little, work Sheen, as Charlie Harper, was actually putting in for his weekly $1.8 million, a salary he might have received for many more years, bad behavior and all, had he not taken to biting large chunks from the hand that fed him. You would have to say, technically, that he deserved the money, whether or not he earned it.

Given the show’s past success, it’s no surprise to find it proceeding Sheenless. Jon Cryer, a regular on the Emmy lists, may be the hardest-working man in situation comedy – it certainly feels that way sometimes, watching this show – but I don’t suppose anyone running a network thinks he can carry a show himself. Creator Chuck Lorre’s solution – Ashton Kutcher – seemed a sensible idea from the time it was announced. You would, after all, want to get an actor nothing like the person you want your audience to forget: That is how they rolled on "Cheers," when Shelley Long gave way to Kirstie Alley, and "MASH," when Mike Farrell replaced Wayne Rogers and Harry Morgan took over from McLean Stevenson and David Ogden Stiers followed Larry Linville. And Kutcher has fans of his own, who will be curious to see how he’s used, and what new energy he brings to the mix.

Contrite Charlie Sheen extends an olive branch to Ashton Kutcher

A contrite Charlie Sheen continued his goodwill tour, meeting with his “Two and a Half Men” replacement, Ashton Kutcher, backstage after the Emmy Awards show on Sunday night.

Before a surprised audience at the Nokia Theatre, Sheen presented the Emmy for leading actor in a comedy series to Jim Parsons of “The Big Bang Theory,” offering to his former "Two and a Half Men" colleagues that, “From the bottom of my heart, I wish you nothing but the best for this upcoming season.” 

Later, Sheen tweeted a photo of himself with Kutcher, “giving the new guy a little advice.”  And later, he tweeted a note to Kutcher and his 4.8 million Twitter followers:

Seriously... @aplusk great talking to you! We'll all be watching! Make us proud!!

A gracious Kutcher, tweeted back:

@charliesheen good to meet you too. Wishing you the best on your new gig.

The embattled actor was fired from “Two and a Half Men” earlier this year in a highly publicized fight in which Sheen attacked the show’s creator Chuck Lorre, calling him a ‘sociopath,” and his costar Jon Cryer, calling him a “troll.” He then took to the Internet with his two girlfriends, whom he referred to as his “goddesses,” and extolled the virtues of “tiger blood,” while making the word “winning”  a top Twitter hashtag. Sheen took his Web antics on the road with his “My Violent Torpedo of Truth” tour, which was canceled before he hit the planned 20 cities.

But Sheen has since signed on for a new TV series called “Anger Management,” participated in a Comedy Central roast and has been making the talk-show rounds, extending the olive branch to his past foes.

True reality TV. What's next is anyone's guess.

RELATED:

Emmys 2011: 3 top moments and their back stories

Photos: The best and worst of the 2011 Emmy Awards

Photos: Images from the red carpet at the Emmy Awards

-- Lisa Fung

Photo: Charlie Sheen via Twitter

Emmys 2011: Three top moments -- and their back stories

Sunday's 63rd Primetime Emmy Awards was filled with Twitter-able moments, although many have probably faded from memory already. Here are three, however, that stand out -- as well as the stories behind them.

1. Charlie Sheen/"Two and a Half Men" -- The troubled actor came out -- to polite applause from the crowd at the Nokia Theatre in Los Angeles -- to present the comedic lead actor category. Calmed down considerably from earlier this year, when he ranted about his "tiger blood" and "Adonis DNA," Sheen began by saluting his former colleagues on "Two and a Half Men," from which he was fired after highly publicized drug problems and subsequent attacks on his bosses. "From the bottom of my heart, I wish you nothing but the best for this upcoming season," he said. Nice sentiment, but it might have rung hollow to many ears. Sheen didn't sound terribly convincing saying it, especially because a few months ago he was spewing that his costar, Jon Cryer, was a "troll," his boss Chuck Lorre a "sociopath" and the sitcom "a driveling pukefest." Sheen maybe should have stopped his Contrition Tour after last week's sober appearance on NBC's "Tonight Show."

2. "Hallelujah"/"In Memoriam" reel -- Leonard Cohen's tune was sung by a group called the Canadian Tenors as a reel played remembering stars and TV industry professionals who had died over the last year. The song choice proved notable for several reasons. Mark Burnett, who produced his first Emmys this year, told reporters that the "in memoriam" segment didn't need to be a "downer" as long as "contemporary" music was picked. But "Hallelujah" -- which was written as an often-tart reflection on broken relationships, not as a valediction to someone who died -- isn't exactly fresh; it first appeared on a Cohen album from 1984. It's also probably one of the most overworked songs around these days. Everyone from the late Jeff Buckley to Bob Dylan to k.d. lang has covered it, and it's been employed in TV shows as diverse as "Scrubs," "Ugly Betty" and "The West Wing." Even Cohen himself is tired of it, telling one interviewer, "It's a good song, but I think too many people sing it."

3. Matthew Weiner/"Mad Men" -- "Oh my goodness, I did not think that was going to happen," Weiner, the creator of "Mad Men," said as the show picked up its fourth straight Emmy for best drama. He added humbly that the cast and crew were going to go back to work -- a possibility that seemed dim earlier this year. Weiner and AMC were haggling over the show's return, with the network pressing the producers to trim each episode by a few minutes so that more commercials could be inserted. Eventually the two sides worked out a compromise in March for two more seasons that would shorten most episodes but leave the season premieres and finales at their usual 47 minutes. The talks stretched out so long that "Mad Men's" production cycle was disrupted and Season 5 won't air until next year instead of this past summer, as originally planned. The turmoil could explain why Weiner felt that another drama might have gone home with the Emmy instead.

What was your favorite Emmy moment?

RELATED:

"Mad Men's" Matthew Weiner on Emmy surprises

Guy Pearce rocks Emmys with talk of Kate Winslet and steamy sex scenes

What is it with Kate Winslet and award speeches?

-- Scott Collins
Twitter.com/scottcollinsLAT

Photo: Charlie Sheen at Sunday's 63rd Primetime Emmys. Credit: Mario Anzuoni / Reuters

 

Emmys 2011: 'Big Bang' star explains Charlie Sheen chat

When Charlie Sheen presented Jim Parsons with his award for lead actor in a comedy, “The Big Bang Theory” star appeared visibly uncomfortable. But after the handoff, Sheen was nothing but nice to Parsons, the Emmy winner told reporters backstage.

“He just congratulated me and said, ‘That’s awesome,’” Parsons recalled of the post-win exchange with Sheen. “It was that sweet and that banal, I’m afraid. I wish there was something lurid to say.”

There was also nothing all that dramatic about him beating costar Johnny Galecki, Parsons insisted. The actor said that Galecki –- a first-time nominee this year –- sent him a text message earlier in the day relaying his anxiety over the impending telecast.

“We did text today, and he mentioned to me that it was a butterfly-making day and he’d been on-and-off the treadmill all day,” said Parsons. “I texted back and said, ‘I agree. It’s nerve-racking, and the treadmill definitely helps.’ I happened to do the elliptical this morning, but close enough.”

Parsons, who took home the same award at last year’s event, said he was more shocked to win the prize the second time around –- especially with Steve Carell as a favorite for his final season on “The Office.”

“That was what my mother had said, along with other prognosticators,” he said of Carell’s likely win. “It would have been very richly deserved on his part. He’s just done such a wonderful job on that show for such a consistent, long time period. That’s really who I thought it would be. I really felt it would be anybody but me, and Steve had a better chance than maybe the rest.”

RELATED

Emmys 2011: Jim Parsons wins lead comedy actor

Emmys 2011: Or is that the 'Modern Family' awards?

Emmys 2011: Who's who in the opening number

-- Amy Kaufman

Photo: Jim Parsons holds the Emmy for lead  actor in a comedy series backstage at the 63rd Primetime Emmy Awards. Credit: AP Photo/Jae Hong

Emmys 2011: Chuck Lorre stays mum on Charlie Sheen

Showrunner Chuck Lorre wasn't giving anything away when it came to his reported drama with former "Two and a Half Men" costar Charlie Sheen. Asked if he was anxious about running into the actor, Lorre replied: "No, not particularly," and quickly began saying how excited he was for his other shows, "Mike & Molly" and "The Big Bang Theory." As for Monday's big season premiere with Ashton Kutcher, he was equally close-lipped. "You'll just have to watch it," he shrugged.

"The Big Bang Theory" has five nominations tonight, including for comedy series.

RELATED:

Emmys 2011: Lea Michele has moment in sun

Emmys 2011: Live coverage, photos, fan chatter, twitter and more

-- Amy Kaufman

Photo: The new cast of "Two and a Half Men," from left, Jon Cryer, Ashton Kutcher and Angus T. Jones are shown during their presentation at CBS' Upfront at Carnegie Hall in New York. (AP Photo / CBS, Jeffrey R. Staab)

Late Night: Charlie Sheen: 'I didn't really believe I had tiger blood'

He's baaaack!

Like a bad boyfriend who calls to say he's sorry the moment you've gotten over him, Charlie Sheen made a contrite appearance on Thursday's "Tonight Show."

Though Sheen was ostensibly there to promote his upcoming Comedy Central roast, host Jay Leno wanted to know about the actor's protracted and very public meltdown earlier this year.

Sheen described it as "a runaway train that I was kind of the reluctant conductor of. ... It just kept going. I said some things that were a little out there ... but these were just metaphors. I didn't really believe that I had tiger blood or Adonis DNA."

"But were you out of control?" Leno asked.

"Absolutely," Sheen said.

The former "Two and a Half Men" star was subdued and apologetic, though oddly cagey when it came to the subject of what was really going on: "I don't know what that was all about, Jay. I wish I could come out here and explain it all to you. ... I think it would make less sense if I tried to explain it to you," he said.

Sheen did, at least, explain the appeal of his most popular catchphrase. "The thing about 'winning,' I think that one was really about something. I don't know so much that I was winning ... but when you say it, you just feel better about yourself."

Leno asked Sheen if there was "one defining moment" when it became clear that he was not, in fact, winning.

"Yeah, it was the day I got fired ... from my big television show. But I thought I could come back , kind of like you did," he quipped.

"At least one of us got their job back," Leno fired back.

In the second segment of the interview, Sheen said he'd have "fired my ass too" and claimed that he "just wanted to make things right." Maybe the strangest thing about the entire appearance was just how even-keeled Sheen seemed, as if he'd just flipped a switch.

So has Sheen truly turned over a new leaf? Or is he just really good at faking it?

 

RELATED:

Charlie Sheen roast: Blood and a lot of vicious jokes

-- Meredith Blake
Twitter.com/MeredithBlake

Photo: Charlie Sheen, left, and Jay Leno. Credit: Danny Moloshok / Reuters and Chris Pizzello / Associated Press.

First look at Charlie Sheen Comedy Central Roast

Two days after Charlie Sheen survived his Comedy Central roast, those who were in attendence are still buzzing around the water cooler about the event. "Raw," "unbelievable" and "hilarious" are just some of the buzzwords being exchanged:

Here's a few looks at what viewers can expect when they tune in to the Comedy Central Roast of Charlie Sheen on Sept. 19.

Here, Sheen makes a rocking entrance thanks to Slash:

The Roast of Charlie Sheen	Mon, Sept 19 10/9c
Preview - Charlie's Entrance
www.comedycentral.com
Comedy Central Funny TV Shows Roast of Charlie Sheen

 Jeffrey Ross takes on Charlie Sheen, but be forewarned the language is sexist and salty:

The Roast of Charlie Sheen	Mon, Sept 19 10/9c
Preview - Jeffrey Ross - Family Obligation
www.comedycentral.com
Comedy Central Funny TV Shows Roast of Charlie Sheen

 RELATED:

Charlie Sheen roast: Blood and a lot of vicious jokes

Charlie Sheen to return in new sitcom based on the film "Anger Management" 

— Greg Braxton

 

 

Charlie Sheen roast: Blood and a lot of vicious jokes

 

Figuratively, plenty of tiger blood was spilled this weekend during Comedy Central's Charlie Sheen roast, which mercilessly skewered the outspoken sitcom star whose high-flying career was derailed thanks to an unprecedented multi-platform public meltdown earlier this year.

But literally, it was "Jackass" blood that flowed during the Saturday night taping as Steve-O broke his nose after deliberately ramming his face into the fist of fellow roaster and former heavyweight champion Mike Tyson.

Photos from the Charlie Sheen roast

That a modern-era roast turned into bloodsport only served to highlight the bizarre nature of the evening, something that one roaster termed a "comic intervention." The event drew an enthusiastic and packed house of fans and industry insiders at Sony Studios in Culver City--and perhaps most bizarrely included Sheen's estranged wife, Brooke Mueller.

While escaping bodily harm, Sheen was nevertheless subjected to a comic fusillade of taunts, jeers and personal attacks from a strange mix of roasters that included roast master Seth MacFarlane, William Shatner ("Star Trek"), Kate Walsh ("Private Practice") and comedians of varying stature (Jon Lovitz, Patrice O'Neal, Anthony Jeselnik).

An edited version of the roast will air Sept. 19, the same night as the season premiere of CBS'  "Two and a Half Men"--the top-rated comedy from which Sheen was bounced after substance abuse problems, legal run-ins, and a highly publicized fight with his boss, executive producer Chuck Lorre. Ashton Kutcher stepped in for the troubled star, whose character will reportedly be killed off this season.

Introduced to ear-splitting riffs by rock guitarist Slash, Sheen was seated on an elaborate stage equipped with large missiles--an obvious nod to his "violent torpedo of truth" stage tour last spring. Those on the dais wasted no time ripping into Sheen.

William Shatner, Kate Walsh and Slash added to Charlie Sheen roast

"Star Trek" Capt. James T. Kirk and Dr. Addison Montgomery from "Private Practice" are about to take on Charlie Sheen.

William Shatner and Kate Walsh have been added to the dais for the "Comedy Central Roast of Charlie Sheen" that will air Sept. 19 on the cable network. Others joining in for the roast, which will include a special appearence by rock guitarist Slash, are comedians Jon Lovitz, Patrice O'Neal and Amy Schumer.

Previously announced participants include former heavyweight champ Mike Tyson, Steve-O from "Jackass" and comedians Jeffrey Ross and Anthony Jeselnik. Seth MacFarlane from "Family Guy" will serve as Roastmaster.

RELATED:

Charlie Sheen to star in 'Anger Management' series

Comedy Central sharpens skewers for Charlie Sheen

Mike Tyson will throw comedic jabs in Charlie Sheen roast

-- Greg Braxton

Photos: William Shatner, Kate Walsh and slash. Credits:  Denis Poroy / Associated Press; Brian Vander Brug / Los Angeles Times; Sarah Gerke / For The Times

Mike Tyson will throw comedic jabs in Charlie Sheen roast

 
Mike Tyson will be among the roasters to take on Charlie Sheen when the former "Two and a Half Men" star takes the hot seat for his Comedy Central roast.

The former heavyweight champion will be joined by TMZ's mastermind Harvey Levin and "Jackass" star Steve-O, and comedian Anthony Jeselnik and Jeffrey Ross.  Other roasters are expected to be announced.

The roast will tape Sept. 10 and air Sept. 19 on Comedy Central.

RELATED:

Late Night: Ashton Kutcher thinks new "Two and a Half Men" will be a smash

Seth MacFarlane preps Comedy Central grill for Charlie Sheen roast

-- Greg Braxton

Photo: Mike Tyson and others will take off the gloves in a Charlie Sheen roast. Credit: Isaac Brekken / Associated Press

Seth MacFarlane preps Comedy Central grill for Charlie Sheen roast

Third time's the harm.

"Family Guy" creator Seth MacFarlane, who has been the roast master for the past two Comedy Central celebrity roasts, will take on those duties again for the "Comedy Central Roast of Charlie Sheen."

The event, which will tape Sept. 10, will air Sept. 19. The special will air on the same night as the season premiere of "Two And a Half Men," the CBS comedy that ousted Sheen as a series of public flareups with producers and drug-related incidents.

"I'm very excited to be working with Comedy Central again on the roast," said MacFarlane, who will be the only three-time returning roast master for the network. "Charlie is a true icon with a talent that is strong and pure and concentrated into small crystals that can be smoked or eaten."

MacFarlane was the roast master for the roasts of David Hasselhoff and Donald Trump.

RELATED:

CBS opens up on Ashton Kutcher's 'Two and a Half Men'

Will 'Two and a Half Men' kill off Charlie Sheen's character?

Charlie Sheen gets his own Comedy Central Roast: 'It's Going to Be Epic'

— Greg Braxton

Photo: Seth MacFarlane. Credit: Ann Johansson / For The Times.

Will 'Two and a Half Men' kill off Charlie Sheen's character?

CBS opens up on Ashton Kutcher's 'Two and a Half Men'

CBS dropped a few details Wednesday about its newly refurbished "Two and a Half Men" -- but somehow neglected to bring along the new star of its No. 1-rated sitcom, Ashton Kutcher.

Speaking to reporters at the TV press tour in Beverly Hills, Entertainment President Nina Tassler revealed that when the former star of "That '70s Show" joins the "Men" cast this fall, he'll play Walden Schmidt, an Internet billionaire with a broken heart. Kutcher, whose character will be introduced in a two-part season premiere, is replacing Charlie Sheen, who was sacked from the show earlier this year after suffering well-publicized drug problems and openly tangling with the producers.

"Who could have predicted that we would be here six months ago?" Tassler told reporters -- although, as one journalist pointed out, Sheen's lengthy history of trouble pointed to just such an outcome long before it happened.

"Our whole focus right now is moving forward," Tassler added.

Apparently moving forward meant walling off Kutcher from the prying questions of reporters, at least for now. Although CBS dedicated an entire day to marketing its shows at the press tour, it did not include a panel for "Two and a Half Men," the most-watched comedy on TV, which is undergoing the most high-stakes revamping of any series in years.

Tassler explained the lack of a "Men" session by saying that the show is in production. "Men" did its first table read earlier this week and is due to shoot the season premiere on Friday.

"When everyone walked on that set on Monday, you could cut the air with a knife," Tassler said. "Do you pay extra special attention to the first season? Absolutely."

Keeping viewers in the dark is an important part of getting them to tune in to see how Sheen's exit is handled, she added. She declined to confirm stories that have suggested the premiere will open with the funeral of Sheen’s character, swinging bachelor Charlie Harper.

"Men" isn't the only signature show getting a reboot. CBS is doing much the same thing with its forensics drama "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation," with Ted Danson replacing Laurence Fishburne, who exited abruptly after getting a cool reception from fans for his work the last few seasons.

The network is hoping both Danson and Kutcher have the type of broad fan bases that can keep ratings aloft for at least a few more seasons.  

"He is a huge TV star, he has a tremendous amount of charisma," Tassler said of Danson.

But she admitted that viewing for the two aging franchises could taper off once the initial curiosity dies down: "I don't know if the numbers will be where they once were," she conceded.

Tassler largely deflected questions about what lessons CBS learned through the Sheen affair, preferring instead to hail the "extraordinary" cast and producers behind the show.

When asked if the network would institute new policies about hiring troubled performers, she cracked: "That would probably be every actor in the business."

ALSO:

ABC Family gets top score in GLAAD gay TV survey

Will 'Two and a Half Men' kill off Charlie Sheen's character?

'America's Got Talent': What happened to the Kinetic King?

-- Scott Collins
twitter.com/scottcollinsLAT

Photo: Angus T. Jones, Ashton Kutcher and Jon Cryer star in "Two and a Half Men." Credit: Matt Hoyle/CBS & Warner Bros.