Late Night: Jon Stewart begs Republicans not to nominate Gingrich

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On Thursday night, Jon Stewart had some tough words for Republicans who, desperate to nominate anyone besides Mitt Romney, have made Newt Gingrich their latest flavor of the week.
‘I know you’re mad...der than usual,’ he said. ‘The county’s being run by a foreign-born Hawaiian, radical Christian Muslim, socialist who’s in the pocket of Wall Street. And sometimes Newt Gingrich can sound like the answer.’

But Republicans who think Gingrich is the second coming of Ronald Reagan are sorely mistaken, Stewart argued. ‘Reagan had a certain charm and gentility. Gingrich is like what would happen if Reagan had been abandoned as a child, and raised by a family of cactuses.’

He suggested that Republicans, in their desperation to recreate ‘the intoxicating high of the early ‘80s,’ had fallen for a subpar candidate. He drew an off-color analogy, likening the the Republican base to a drug addict that had resorted to performing sexual favors in exchange for some ‘$5 rock.’ (That would be Gingrich, in case you’re wondering.)

And so Stewart decided it was time for an intervention. Since Republicans don’t usually rely on him for advice, Stewart pointed to a chorus of prominent conservatives who’ve vocally criticized Gingrich, including Oklahoma Sen. Tom Coburn, who’s so far to the right he once protested the television broadcast of ‘Schindler’s List’ because of the nudity. (‘That’s what strikes you as obscene in Schindler’s list,’ Stewart mused.)

Worst of all, Glenn Beck announced this week that Gingrich is the one candidate he cannot vote for. For Stewart, this was a clear sign the Republicans had hit ‘rock bottom.’

‘That’s the political equivalent of waking up in a dumpster with someone else’s condom in your pants,’ he joked.

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-- Meredith Blake
Twitter.com/MeredithBlake