‘Dancing With the Stars’ results recap: Going Solo

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Season 13’s semifinals week concluded after a blast of confetti, a slew of rainbows and a Muppet extravaganza. It also left just three couples to vie for the Mirrorball trophy. Left just one week shy of this shiny ballroom goal, however, were … Hope Solo and Maksim Chmerkovskiy.

So there’s to be no Hope in next week’s finals. Though this couldn’t have been much of a surprise to anyone watching, as Hope and Maks lagged behind in points, and her technique didn’t seem to be on par with the other remaining contestants.

Hope herself, perhaps knowing that this was to be her swan song, had a markedly different attitude this week. Now that she and Maks had made up and Maks had seemingly swallowed his eternal sunshine of the spotless mind pills, it was as if the World Cup star assumed a “me against the world” (or at least, the judges) attitude. She defiantly held her head up high when receiving the judges’ critiques, and flippantly said “kiss my booty” when the judges gave them a trio of 7s for their paso doble. (“The thing is,” Len said in puzzlement, “we were nice.) She’d acted like the rebel ballroom dancer that you’d find smoking under the bleachers after school.

So perhaps it’s best that she and ‘DWTS’ part ways. “This competition is one of the toughest competitions I’ve ever been a part of,” Hope said. At least Hope and Maks’ season-long narrative arc, which included battling one another and coming to (almost literal) blows, ended on a positive note between them. Maks was downright contrite during his exit interview: “I’m sorry; I wish I could have been better for you.” And Hope’s response was pretty brilliant. “Maks was amazing; the producer of the show!” she said good-naturedly. “I have to thank you for casting me.” And after what she and Maks had been through this fall makes going out to London and winning a gold medal next summer sound like a walk through Regent’s Park.

Still, it was an hour filled with joy and rainbows. First came Len’s introduction of the encore routine, which marked the “return of the inflatable rainbow” and the return of Rob and Cheryl’s samba. Carrie Ann may have just wanted to see the booty again, but out also came the float, the rainbows and the maracas. And it started the hour off on a festive note, and Rob’s ease of movement and command of his tuckus just showed how far he’s come in this competition. And how far he’s going: Tom and Brooke granted both him of the small bladder (apparently he really has to relieve himself before every dance, prompting his partner to ask if he’s pregnant) and Cheryl (not Hines) a golden ticket to the finals shortly thereafter.

Special guests Cobra Starship featuring Sabi brought out the synth keyboards and a laser light show to their performance of “You Make Me Feel,” accompanied by Pros Kym and Tristan(!) and members of the Troupe.

“FAB ONE” Carson Kressley graced us with his trademark wit and sparkly presence once more by taking us through every last sequin and fringe of the costume department in a “Queer Eye For the Dance Guy” segment. “If we ruffle your sleeves, your butt will look smaller,” Carson advised Rob. He also smartly left the fabric shop receipt on his tab (“It’s under Bergeron”) and not only crafted silver sequined hot pants for Maks, but gave him a nice pat on his butt in the sky box.

Yay for our pros Anna Trebunskaya and Derek Hough for going all out in the Macy’s viewer-appointed Design-a-Dance paso doble to Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance” decked in costumes designed by Amanda Wolfe. Anna always looks so fierce, and that jump that Derek did onto the judges’ table was pretty impressive.

The last AT&T spotlight performance of the season featured Kyle Scanlan, David Guzman, Jacob Guzman and Matt Gilmore, all young male dancers from Brockton, Mass’s Gold School (the academy that produced Kenny Wormald of “Footloose” remake fame) who suffered years of bullying and ridicule only to end up on a national stage dancing with hot pros in front of millions of people all over the nation. “Yeah, I ‘d say they definitely got the better end of the deal,” confirmed Tom.

More warm fuzzies came toward the end of the hour, when Kermit, Miss Piggy and Co. took over the entire sound stage with their sways of back and forth and a performance of “Life’s a Happy Song” from their upcoming “The Muppets” movie and backed by a triangle of human dancers. What a treat to see all the old favorites: Rowlf! Fozzie! Gonzo! Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and Beaker! Swedish Chef! Animal! And of course, it wouldn’t be complete without a scathing critique from perpetual grumps Statler and Waldorf from the judges’ table: “I think if they get rid of all that singing and dancing it’ll be a hit.” Tom: “The Muppet movie?” “No, this show.” Ha! How’s that for razzmatazz, Len?

In the end, we were left with three final couples: Ricki & Derek, Rob & Cheryl and J.R. and Karina. Who has your vote to win it all? How great was Derek and Anna’s design-a-dance? Who else wants a small Mirrorball ornament of your own to hypnotize folks with, like how Maks endearingly tried to do with an injured J.R.? “You will be okaaayy. It will be alriiiight…”

Related:

‘Dancing With the Stars’ recap: Semi-charmed semifinals

‘Dancing With the Stars’ results recap: Fall from Grace

Complete ‘Dancing With the Stars’ coverage on Show Tracker

—Allyssa Lee