Emmys 2011: Ricky Gervais thanks God, shares his Twinkie
Leave it to Ricky Gervais to spice up an awards show -- without benefit of being, as he put it, "allowed on American soil." For the 2011 Emmy Awards, the self-styled Golden Globes bad boy delivered a taped message to Jane Lynch and whole Emmys gang. A taped, edited message. Just in case.
"Hello. Firstly, sorry I can't be there live in person. Not allowed. Not after the Golden Globes. In fact now, during any awards ceremony, I'm not even allowed on American soil. This is prerecorded and the Emmy bosses have warned me if I say anything rude or controversial, they will edit it out and you won't know the difference."
We won't know the difference? Whatever you say, Ricky. (You can watch the video, below.)
This was the rest of his message -- edited, of course. Not that you'd notice.
"What a bunch of cowardly  countrymen like Simon Cowell and Piers Morgan. We're proud of you. I've won a few Emmys myself. I've lost a few too. I was up for five last year and I lost them all to other shows that in my opinion were absolute  'Schindler's List' but then went on to do TV with 'Band of Brothers' and 'The Pacific' for HBO, which in my opinion is the greatest channel in the world  apart from  fox  that is,  obviously.
"Anyway, I've been rattling on for about 10 minutes. I hope I didn't say anything that you found offensive. Though if I did, I don't care. You can suck my [Twinkie]. Thanks for listening. And finally, thanks to God for making me an  absolute idiot. There I said it. Again."
Shocking. Who even knew they had Twinkies across the pond? Escándalo!
-- Sherry Stern and Christie D'Zurilla
Photo: A taped, edited Ricky Gervais addresses the Emmy Awards crowd at Nokia Theatre. Credit: Mark Boster / Los Angeles Times.