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'Hell's Kitchen' and 'Master Chef' recap: Booty calls, meat milkshakes and the mother of all challenges

Giuseppe_Master_Chef
The men versus women shtick never gets old on "Hell's Kitchen." That's because it pits the men against the women -- and the women against the women. Kudos for playing to stereotype, ladies! (I'm looking at you, Carrie and Elise.) And the whole thing allows for plenty of sexual tension for those on the prowl.

Like Carrie.

Seriously, how desperate do you have to be to lasso Brendan -- that meatball! -- into your room because you need "some exercise," all while the cameras are rolling. Ugh. I only wish we were able to get a close-up of her face when chef Gordon Ramsay later sent Brendan home after catching him in an embrassing lie. (Brendan reheated a piece of fish instead of firing up a new one. When questioned, he insisted that the fish was fresh ... until Gordon threatened to shut down the kitchen and search every trash bin to determine whether Brendan was lying or not. Brendan fessed up.)

Carrie, I'm sure you're making your family proud with your antics. Although it kills me to side with Elise, I think she put it best when she said something along the lines of, "Whata stanka-dank-skank!" Let's put that on a T-shirt and make lots of money.

Speaking of T-shirts:

Can we put a "moron" T-shirt on Monterray? The men so far have lost two teammates, leading Ramsay to say that one of players on the women's team would have to make the switch. No thanks, Monterray said. "We'd like to roll the way we're at," earning lots of nods from the rest of the testosterone-fueled bunch.

Uh, no one asked you, Monterray. This isn't a democracy. It's "Hell's Kitchen."

And if the men have any chance of getting back in the game winning, they need at least one more set of hands. I wish Ramsay had given that smart aleck more of a smackdone. Instead, he put Monterray in his place with a "You're striving for reputation, I've got one. And you are not going to [bleeping] ruin it." Translation. The guys are getting a new teammate next week.

File under: "Moments that had me gagging": When the women were forced to drink meat smoothies made from the leftover kitchen scraps that they couldn't bring out to customers. I am gagging just typing this.

Final thought: It is me, or do most of these guys either hail from Jersey, or act like they want to hail from Jersey?

Meanwhile, over at "MasterChef" ... it was invasion of the supermums.

Ramsay, chef Graham Elliot and Joe "Death Stare" Bastianich all ushered in their mothers to guest judge this week. That meant that -- holy smokes! -- Lidia Bastianich, the beloved matriarch of Italian-American cooking, was in the house.

The remaining 10 contestants were divided into teams, and had to interview the supermoms about their likes and dislikes and then come up with a three-course menu to please them. Tracy, inexplicably, served a fish entree even though Ramsay's mother made it clear she wasn't a fan.

Meanwhile, Giuseppe made spaghetti carbonara, using store-bought spaghetti. Ben almost died: "You're going to boil store-bought pasta for Lidia Bastianich?!?!"

Somehow these two dishes managed to win over the moms, and it all came down to dessert, and Tracy's poached pear dish (which Christian tried to undermine again and again) won the day.

Giuseppe's team had to pay the ultimate price -- a pressure-test challenge involving eggs Benedict -- and poor Giuseppe blew it and was this week's eliminee.

But he wasn't alone. Alejandra also bombed. After Joe "Death Stare" Bastianich tasted her dish, he asked: "Alejandra, do you miss your husband?" When she acknowledged as much, he added "Maybe you'll see him tonight." Ouch!

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-- Rene Lynch
twitter.com/renelynch

Photo: Giuseppe, before his departure.

Credit: Fox

 
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