About (Late) Last Night: Colbert on Weiner scandal: 'Republican politicians are man enough to hit that' [Video]
"Nation, this is one of those rare days that makes me proud to be a newsman, to report history as it happens," Stephen Colbert witsfully declared on Monday night's "The Colbert Report."
"I think we'll all remember where we were when we found out that this is, in fact, Anthony Weiner's [penis]," he said as the all-too-familiar shot of the congressman's bulging briefs flashed on the screen.
Colbert, for one, was surprised by the news -- but not because he thought Weiner was innocent. "It's shocking. He's so thin. Naked he must look a wind sock hanging off a parking meter."
After lying for over a week, Weiner confessed to tweeting numerous lewd photos of himself to women online. The truth, Colbert proclaimed, had finally come out -- "like a dolphin wiggling free of a blanket" -- but only after additional photos were released.
Perhaps the most incriminating photo showed Wiener, shirtless, his distinct jawline clearly visible in the frame (not to mention some personal photos on the desk behind him; amazing that he didn't even try to remain anonymous).
Embarrassing as the photo is, Colbert claimed he understood the impulse behind it. "The guy is my age and he's totally cut. That is why I have made the moral choice to let myself go," he said, standing up and showing off his surprisingly doughy midsection. "I am in no way tempted to share this with anybody. I'm proud to say I have the torso of a 76-year-old man."
In his press conference Monday, Weiner insisted that he did not actually have sex with any of the women he'd contacted online, which prompted another observation from Colbert. While political sex scandals are a bipartisan pursuit, Colbert did see an important distinction between Weiner, a Democrat, and various scandal-tainted Republicans, such as Chris Lee, David Vitter and John Ensign: "Republican politicians are man enough to hit that thing."
-- Meredith Blake