'Dancing With the Stars' results recap: Boomboxed out
Last night a DJ saved her life, but on Tuesday night’s results show, the needle was removed from the record player of Wendy Williams’ dance career (cue the record scratch). In the second elimination of “Dancing With the Stars” Season 12, the New York-based tawk show host received the lowest total combination of judges’ points and viewer votes, and was promptly cut from the competition. And I don’t think anyone was surprised to see this general gababout go; Williams, who was larger than life in just about everything, hovered at near the bottom of the leader board throughout this competition, and never seemed to get the right footing on her dances.
“The problem is that it’s not my personality that’s in the competition, it’s my feet,” Williams stated. “Despite stereotypes, this is one black girl who can’t do the running man.” (Cut to Maks doing an honorary running man, to prove that despite stereotypes and a bum thigh, white men can dance.)
It was fitting for Wendy to make her swan song at this point in the competition, but I was sad to see pro partner Tony “Sparkletooth” Dovolani’s season cut short. Not only was the Albanian Stallion put back into the “DWTS” stable, his victory lap was cut short when solo player Williams took to the dance floor without him. What happened to being kind?
The results show started with a party –- a samba party, courtesy of encore dancers Hines Ward and Kym Johnson. Added bonus: Tom deemed them safe right before their performance! “Just as nice seeing it twice,” rhymed Tom, and the crowd couldn’t agree more. Last time, I was transfixed by Hines’ hips. This time, I was fascinated by Kym’s skirt, which bobbed up and down like shiny yellow leaves of bibb lettuce. And look, the judges joined Steeler Nation and swung those Terrible Towels in celebration at the end! Woo-woo! I loved this samba, but part of me would have liked to have seen Kirstie Alley and Maksim Chmerkovskiy’s routine again, just to see what it would have been like without the tumble (which was shown ad nauseum throughout the broadcast), but what can you do? Luckily, Maks reported that he, his chest and his thighs are on the mend and will all dance another day.
The band OneRepublic (remember them?) performed two songs. The first was a new single called “Good Life” that started with whistling. It also featured Lacey Schwimmer and Dmitry Chaplin front and center, performing a routine where they flung their heads, bared hearts, and collapsed into each other with great gusto. Ah, there’s nothing like our pros. Then the band brought out candelabras and performed “All the Right Moves” (very “DWTS”-appropriate) with the very symmetrical yet indistinguishable “DWTS” Troupe, elaborately decked in their finest gothic brothel wear.
Disney Channel star Selena Gomez made an appearance, singing “Who Says” with her band the Scene while Chelsie Hightower and Mark Ballas twirled sweetly around each other. And that move at the end when Mark hurled Chelsie up in the air and she went horizontal before curling up and dropping back into his arms? Showstopper!
There were two taped segments. The first was a behind-the-scenes look at the wackiness that ensued when stars were given cameras and told to shoot their own footage. We learned that sweet-as-an-angel Petra Nemcova can get quite testy when Dmitry turns the camera on her; Romeo likes to chill with his friends and is an equal-opportunity hand massager (“I’ll give you one, too, camera girl”); Hines’ son doesn’t like the big rides at Disneyland; Kendra Wilkinson’s son can drool with great aim; and that Ralph Macchio likes to take his camera into the bath and show off his rearview Mirrorballs. “That’s why you’ll never see a ‘Camera Operating With the Stars,’” Tom declared.
The second segment was mostly filler, clumsily introduced by Brooke Burke, in which the pros discussed the close competition and each star’s strengths. Funniest line: Karina Smirnoff talking about how Romeo’s swagger comes into the ballroom five minutes before he does.
“You’re so pretty, Brooke Burke. Let’s change the subject.”
So what did you think, ballroom fans? Did the right star go home? How much would you give to find out why Louis Van Amusement was cracking up so much on the stage when he and Kendra were awaiting their fate? Will poor, overenthusiastic Smoke Machine ever make it back to the big show now that it’s been relegated regional theater? Did Brooke’s asymmetrical ruffle dress and matching hair result in her offbeat hosting? Discuss.
— Allyssa Lee
Photo: Dovolani and Williams. Credit: Adam Taylor / ABC