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‘America’s Next Top Model’ recap: Weave-tastrophe

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In every makeover episode of ‘America’s Next Top Model,’ there are clear winners and clear losers. This week, Molly was definitely the one who got the short end of the fabulous stick. One look at her poorly done Dolly Parton ringlets -- which really did look like a cheap Rapunzel wig that someone had glued to her head -- and Tyra declared the situation a ‘weave malfunction.’ Considering the usual tears, whining and various complaints that the makeovers usually produce, getting a look redone means that the Molly situation was basically the Hindenburg of hair extensions.

Truthfully, the makeovers this season were pretty tame. No shaved heads, no increased tooth gap, not even many dye jobs. It seemed that the principle was basically all for weaves and weaves for all. But, of course, it didn’t mean that everyone was happy about it. Alexandria is turning out to be a serious whiner, taking it upon herself to school the hairstylist on how to do her extensions.

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Meanwhile Sara -- who was really pulling for a super-long weave -- ended up getting ‘manly short, brown spikes.’ Despite Sara’s disgruntlement, I thought her new haircut looked fantastic. Brittani was another winner, getting a short, black Louise Brooks bob that instantly transformed her face from plain to sculptured.

Though Molly was the only clear hair disaster, most of the other models didn’t get anything new to work with -- Jacklyn’s hair got curlier, Hannah’s got longer, and Kasia’s got crimped -- which might be a disadvantage in the long run. Even the most bizarre fashion makeovers made the girls stand out. This season, they’re still blending together.

Except, that is, for Alexandria, who’s turning out to be deliciously dreadful. In the fashion shoot du jour -- the women traipsing about dressed in the fanciful couture stylings of Lori Goldstein -- Alexandria was hilariously childish. Her diva behavior earned her a reprimand from Tyra at judges’ table, but she also managed to win best picture. Mix messages much? Most of the models rocked the challenge, despite having to work in pairs. Even in the midst of her hair crisis, Molly pulled out a picture that the judges deemed good enough to land her in second place. Kasia passed through, even though Nigel didn’t like her picture. ‘Her mouth is open so much; it’s so dark in there,’ is, for the record, not what you want to hear from a judge. The bottom two, I have to say, were surprising for me. Sara’s lackluster performance put her squarely in place for elimination, but I thought that Mikaela’s closed-eye picture was way worse than Dominique’s dozy-looking one. But alas, Dominique was sent packing and Sara stayed. Let’s hope she starts owning her non-rat-tail look. What did you think about the makeovers? And which of those marvelous couture gowns did you want the most?

Top ‘Model’ word of the week: ‘Swandom’: According to Andre Leon Talley, ‘Swandom’ is achieving the stretched-neck model look of a swan.

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-- Margaret Eby
Twitter.com / margareteby

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